Where the Buffalo Roam Page #2

OK, now.

I want you to remember one thing.

Once we get inside, no grab-ass.

No fooling around, no yelling, no booing,

none of that stuff.

Just keep cool and let's do it.

- OK? Come on.

- All right.

...on behalf of the coming defence...

...sheer domestic tranquillity...

Would you be

interested in donating blood, sir?

Donate? My blood?

As a matter of fact, I'm here to pick up

some blood. Hope you're my type of girl.

Roll up your sleeve.

This'll prick for just a second.

I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor.

Jesus, I missed. Sorry.

You're moving now,

you gotta hold still.

- Here we go. That's a beautiful colour.

- No!

You got a lot of it too. All right!

All right.

OK, hold on, hold on.

All right.

I'm a little cowgirl.

Kiss and make better.

Yeah, all right.

You should do that all the time.

Several times a month, at least.

Lazlo, Lazlo, Lazlo.

The whole calendar is Lazlo. Will I ever get

to ply my trade against anyone else?

Yeah, a**hole,

when you stop busting kids.

Remember thou, keep holy the Lord's day.

Honour thy father and mother.

Thou shalt not kill.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not be

a false witness against thy neighbour.

So this is it. Nice place.

Jeez, you can almost smell the narcs.

There's a certain kind of a stink.

You know that stink? Jesus.

- Where's the chamber of horrors?

- Room six. Grab a seat.

First come, first served.

Get smart, Lazlo.

Look, could you just hold this for a second?

Just a second.

I'll see you in court.

Everyone rise.

Be seated.

Jesus, it's happening already.

Kind of close quarters in here, isn't it?

Let's go.

Let's get this thing moving.

Clerk, where are the files?

Come on, we're backed up.

Let's see.

State versus Occupants 223 Coal Street.

Possession, sales marijuana.

623 Paige Street, marijuana.

People versus Kramer, marijuana.

These all yours, Lazlo?

Yes, your honour!

We'll set a hearing

on the Coal Street matter.

How about the 13th?

- What about the motions?

- Motions? What motions?

A motion to suppress

the search and seizure.

- There's a probable cause question...

- Wait.

Have you conferred

with the district attorney?

- Yes.

- And?

I and my clients are going to trial.

You tell him!

How long will these motions take?

An hour, maybe two, maybe more,

I don't know. I have a lot of questions.

For instance, in the Coal Street matter...

Mr Lazlo, Mr Willins,

would you please approach the bench?

Here, I'll be right back.

Would you mind?

Gentlemen, let's be reasonable.

For 16 crummy joints, are you kidding me?

I'm gonna take every case to trial,

every one, if I have to.

I can back this place up for six years.

You're making a mistake, Lazlo.

Four, five,

six, seven,

eight, nine, ten...

Marty. Where the hell you been?

Been looking all over for you.

You are not registered at your hotel.

Your rental car is reported stolen.

Personally, I couldn't give a sh*t,

but you owe me a story.

Is it due? Am I late?

You've got a deadline in 19 hours.

Now where's my story?

It's right in there.

Great too, incredible story,

it's developing fast.

I think it could be

the best thing I've ever done.

All I gotta do now is write it up.

Write it up?

You've got 19 hours.

You move like a cat, Marty.

37, 38, 39...

Entered? How could you enter?

The door was locked.

You broke down the door without a warrant.

- I heard a scream.

- You heard a scream.

Are you sure it wasn't laughter? Kids having

a good time, innocent merriment?

No, it sounded like a scream.

Hit him with the Fourth Amendment, Laz.

That's not really appropriate,

the Fourth Amendment.

- You're a law student?

- Yeah.

Don't come on so heavy.

- Why would I ever hire you?

- I'm sorry.

OK, so you went inside.

Then what happened?

I saw one of the defendants make

a furtive movement.

- Like what?

- Shall I demonstrate?

- Please.

- It was like this.

- That's a furtive movement?

- Down into here.

I'd like to demonstrate

that movement just like this.

That's a furtive move

and you were scared and...

- then what did you do?

- So I searched him.

And what, in fact, did you find?

- Pack of Marlboros.

- A pack of Marlboro cigarettes.

So instead of just realising you had made

a human error and returning the cigarettes,

you decided to peek inside. Why?

Because I thought that defendant

may have been concealing

a small plastic exploding device

of some kind.

So I opened up the cigarettes, that's why.

You were looking for a bomb

in a packet of cigarettes?

Take your seat.

I'm sorry.

I'm in control.

Not sure about these people, though.

Is this man an associate of yours?

No, just a...

just a good American like yourself.

May we proceed?

And although, in all fairness,

I must say your legal rights

might have been better protected,

given my willingness and the willingness

of the district attorney.

I feel compelled to sentence you each

to six months in the county jail.

Six months? Why?

You could've cut off their feet.

Once more and you're out of the courtroom.

Clerk, best get moving. Next case.

Nice going, Lazlo.

The People versus William Kramer.

- You want some?

- No, thanks.

Looks like you got a good thing going there.

- So you gave the cop the bag?

- Yeah.

Why? Why didn't you say no?

I don't know.

I guess I thought maybe

nothing would happen to me.

Because, in your mind,

that bag didn't belong to you.

It didn't.

Nevertheless, you were arrested for

possession of one pound of marijuana.

This is your second arrest for possession.

- Yeah.

- How much did you have the first time?

One joint.

One joint. And for this you did time in jail.

- Yeah.

- How long?

18 months.

18 months for one joint.

OK, look...

who was it?

What was the name of the guy

who gave you the bag of grass?

I don't think he's gonna tell him.

- He's not.

- The kid's tough.

He is tough, and he's not gonna talk.

Do you know his name, Mr Kramer?

You wanna tell him?

OK.

I'm sorry, Judge, the kid's not a squealer.

Take your seat, Mr Kramer.

The court is still in session.

The defence rests.

Will the defendant please rise?

Any person who transports into this state,

sells, furnishes or gives away any marijuana

- shall be punished...

- What's he doing?

- He's reading the f***ing law.

- ... five years to life...

I think you guys should listen.

His honour is reading the sentence.

F*** off.

- He's your client.

- ... not less than three years.

Do you understand your sentence,

Mr Kramer?

No.

Five years to life.

- Five years?

- Easy, Lazlo.

Did you say five years?

- That's ridiculous. I protest!

- Contempt!

Five f***ing years?

It's a travesty of justice. I will not stand for it.

I will not give you any names.

Smile for the camera.

What does this mean, Lazlo?

Write about it!

Tell the world!

Tell them the truth!

- Here's the story.

- Great, let's have it.

- It's incredible, kid raped by the court...

- Come on, we got two hours.

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