Where the Skin Lies

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1

What are you reading?

- Quantum Computing Algorithms.

- [SAT NAV] Right turn ahead.

- It's Eddy's book.

- Sounds complicated, mate.

- I think I've got it.

- [GIRL] They're cool people.

- [LAUGHTER]

- You so don't have it.

[GIRL] Yes, Mum,

I'll behave myself.

[WOMAN] Mike,

tell us how it's done.

Not a chance. You can

figure it out for yourselves.

Yeah, we're all here.

No, it's not weird.

[SAT NAV] You have reached

your destination.

- [GIRL] Hello? Mum?

- [EDDY] I think this is it.

- Recalculating route.

- [EDDY] Oh, hang on, hang on.

- Please turn around.

- [GIRL] We're breaking up.

- Hello? Hello?

- [EDDY] What the hell?

[GIRL] Mum, if you can still

hear me, I'm hanging up. OK.

Well, I suppose

this is the place.

Looks a bit different

than advertised.

It looks great, Eddy.

[FLIES BUZZ]

[PHONE RINGS]

- Oh, sorry. Are you alright?

- I give up.

[GIRL] Mum, we just talked.

Sorry? What?

Can you repeat that?

Who is this?

- Guys, a hand, please.

- [WOMAN] Yeah, sorry, John!

- It's Jaan.

- [GIRL] I think wrong number.

- Bye.

- [JAAN] Hello?

I'm here.

[JAAN] Thanks, Ray.

Is Ray your real name,

or is it short for something?

- Sunray?

- Moonray?

Stingray.

- Don't you guys know either?

- [RAY] No, not even close.

What, you thought,

she looks like a hippie,

she must have

some silly hippie name?

- [MIKE] Yeah.

- Nah, it's Rainbow.

[MIKE] Oh, so much better.

Not hippie at all.

[WOMAN] Much better.

- [JANN] Cheers, mate.

- [WOMAN] Everything OK, Eddy?

Edward. My name is Edward.

I told you all before.

Only my wife calls me Eddy.

Much to my chagrin.

Ladies first?

- [WOMAN] Edward.

- [JAAN] Watch it.

- Careful, Mike, careful.

- This place is huge!

- No sh*t, Miss Marple.

- And very... '70s.

- It's vile.

- Yes.

- Yes, it is.

- [DOOR BANGS]

- [EDWARD] Drafty too.

- [RAY] Well, I like it.

Hey, didn't the leaflet say that

this place was accessible to...

Wheelchairs?

Um, I don't know. Did it?

- I don't remember.

- Well, why would you?

But, yeah, I'm sure

it said so in the leaflet.

[EDWARD] Yes, it did,

as a matter of fact.

I think the brochure exaggerated

in quite a few ways.

Exaggerated? It's called lying

where I come from, Eddy.

[MIKE] Right, none of the rooms

down here are suitable for you.

We'll figure it out, mate.

[WOMAN] The kitchen

and living room are up here.

- [MIKE] A bedroom for Jaan?

- [JAAN] And a bathroom?

[WOMAN] Yeah, both.

And there's a terrace.

Wicked. Cheers, Elsie.

Right, let's do this, then.

- Teamwork, right?

- Yeah, absolutely.

Even though only one of us

is putting his back into it.

OK, ready? Two, three.

- Whoa.

- [WOMAN] Careful.

- [JAAN] Hold on!

- [MIKE] No, that's not working.

Oh! I'm sorry. More to explore.

At least you smell nice.

It's alright,

take your time, guys.

- Coming. Sorry.

- That's helpful.

Mate, I tell you what,

I don't care what happens,

you're stuck on this floor

for the rest of the weekend.

- Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.

- No problem at all.

[ELSIE] There's even more

bedrooms and bathrooms up here.

- Really nice ones, actually.

- Dibs!

Oh, you are so immature.

- Really?

- This way for you.

I can handle a level floor,

you know.

[RAY] And at the far end,

your chambers.

- [THUD]

- Oh, sorry. Let's see.

- I forgot how big this is.

- Well, don't worry.

You'll soon get used

to how big it is, saucepot.

Stop it, Jaan.

I'm sorry.

And here's me thinking that

you're all serious and stuff.

Yeah, well, don't tell anyone.

I thought it would be

a good idea

if we could toast

our weekend together.

I brought champagne, munchies.

Well, I'll get a bowl

for whatever's in there,

and glasses.

[MIKE] Sweet.

- The curtains are great.

- [EDWARD] A bit garish.

[ELSIE] Mike?

[MIKE] Can I help?

- [RAY] No, she's got it.

- Did anybody...

- [CORK POPS]

- [RAY] Whoop!

[CHEERING]

Oh, cheers.

Ah, thanks, Elsie,

for organizing all of this.

Um, today marks a year

since the events

which brought us together,

um, and brought us to

the wonderful, capable doctor

and group therapy.

Um, and a year since, um...

since Joey.

So may he rest in peace.

Now, we've been through a lot,

but this weekend is about

putting all that stuff behind us

and just having a good time.

- So, cheers, everybody.

- [ALL] Cheers.

To no more group therapy.

[WOMAN] To no more

group therapy.

- [RAY] To Joey.

- [MIKE] Joey.

He had his whole life

ahead of him.

Yeah, which he wasted trying

to stop a bullet with his face.

Come on, Edward.

The kid was brave.

[ELSIE] Eddy isn't mocking.

He's just...

[EDWARD]

I'm just pointing out facts.

Well, the fact is, Joey died

saving us. Sometimes...

Sometimes you feel guilty,

like the doctor said.

On a lighter note, look at this.

- Come on, show them, Eddy.

- Oh.

Ta-da.

It's meant to be symbolic

of you surviving the situation.

You see? Six. For the hostages.

I know I wasn't

directly involved, but...

- [WOMAN] I can't believe this.

- [EDWARD] It's just a tattoo.

- [ELSIE] Have I offended you?

- [LAUGHS]

I didn't mean to intrude

or minimize your experience.

- I just thought...

- No, it's not that.

- Then what's the problem?

- Well, I got one too.

With a six in it. Look.

[MIKE] OK,

that is a mad coincidence.

[RAY] You think

that's a coincidence?

Serendipity.

[EDWARD] Oh, my God, you hippie.

Didn't we talk about this

in therapy?

[WOMAN] No,

tattoos didn't come up.

Do you wanna

see something creepy?

Ta-da-da-da!

Yeah, alright, then,

what are the odds?

- No, I mean...

- That is so...

I mean, no, quite literally.

So what are the odds

of this happening?

I mean, you know,

it's the exact same style.

- I mean, it's the same six.

- What are you getting at?

Well, this is some kind

of joke, right?

I mean, what,

trick the scientist?

Well, go on, then, mate.

Show us yours.

No, I'm too old for a game of

"I'll show you mine

if you show me yours," mate,

and for tattoos.

So you're trying to tell me that

apart from Elsie and I,

who got this done together,

the rest of you

decided independently

to get this particular tattoo

done in this style, hmm?

Well, apart from Mike.

- Serendipity.

- Yeah, right.

Now, I'm not stupid.

OK, I'm going to get the rest

of my luggage from the car.

Here's to a delightful weekend

in the country.

You know the weird thing?

I didn't even want a tattoo.

I get talked into it

by some bloke in the pub.

[YELLS]

And this never did come up

in therapy, did it?

Reunion, yeah. Tattoos, no.

- Are you OK, Edward?

- What?

Oh, sure.

Oh, cramp.

Or carpal tunnel or something.

I don't know.

This is all so bizarre. Why

would we all have the same idea?

The place we got the tattoo,

what was it called again?

I can't remember. It was

some awful pun with "inks."

[ALL] Jinx!

Jinx. [GIGGLES]

'Cause we all said

the same thing at the same time.

So, we all got the tattoo

at exactly the same place

and dare I assume with the same

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