White Bird in a Blizzard Page #2

everything was fine.

That we were the perfect family

living this perfect f***ing life.

Pass the butter.

Thank you.

There were times when I

thought she was going mad,

that she was going to suffocate

my father one night with a pillow,

that she was going to burn

the f***ing house down.

But instead, she vanished.

How does that make you feel?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Do you miss her?

No. Not really.

My dad made me see a shrink because he

thought I needed to process my feelings

about my mother leaving. Thing is,

I didn't have any feelings.

Dr. Thaler reminds me of an

actress playing a therapist.

And when we have a session,

I feel like an actress playing myself.

I act... I have been having

kind of weird dreams lately.

A bad actress. Doing a shitty job.

Like, I'm... I'm driving

through this gnarly snow storm

and I can't see anything,

I mean, there's snow everywhere.

And then out of nowhere,

this figure appears.

I can't, like, make it out

in any detail or anything,

but I just somehow know

that it's my mother.

And I try to swerve, but I can

feel the car hit something.

I get out, and I look all around

but there's nobody, nothing. Just...

snow and blinding whiteness everywhere.

I've been having these dreams

ever since my mom left.

That's not unusual, especially given

the trauma of your situation.

However, contrary to popular belief,

dreams don't necessarily mean anything.

We all have strange dreams.

But in most cases, it's just your

brain's way of letting off steam

at the end of the day.

Oh.

I'm worried about you, Kat.

What do you mean?

This is too much to

deal with on your own.

Is that shrink you're

seeing helping any?

I guess. I've only

been a couple of times.

Yeah, well, my mom said therapy

helped her a lot after my dad left.

I still don't understand how

she could do this to you.

- She wanted out, I guess.

- So? That's no excuse.

Least my dad told us he was leaving.

He didn't just...

leave us in the dark, wondering.

Whatever. Can we just

stop talking and f***?

Gotta get back before my mom freaks out.

- Plus isn't your dad coming home soon?

- No, not for at least an hour.

Yeah, well, last thing I want

is for him to catch us again.

Last time he got so mad I

thought he was gonna kill me.

Just...

- give your shrink a chance, will you?

- All right.

Seriously. You need to let

some of your anger out.

You're gonna crack. Just like your mom.

It's like a vicious "circus".

Catch you later.

I don't mean to sound crass,

but if I don't get some dick soon

- I'm going to explode.

- Join the f***ing club, sister.

Look on the bright side.

At least you've had real sex.

I'm so paranoid about AIDS I have

to live vicariously through you.

Okay, well, the problem is

that once you've had real sex,

it's, like, all you

can ever think about.

And Phil barely even touches me anymore.

He gives me goodnight peck and that's it.

What? That's f***ed up.

I know. It's, like,

we're some old married couple.

Maybe you should bang that

hot detective you're so into.

What? What are you talking about?

He's, like, 40.

That's not even legal I don't think.

Kat, he's a cop. If anyone knows how to

do sh*t without getting caught, he does.

Yeah, plus you'll be 18

in a few weeks anyway.

Okay, whatever. I am not screwing

a 40 year old cop. Okay?

Back to the problem at hand,

getting Phil to f*** me.

Well, have you talked to him about it?

I tried. All he says is that,

he's got a lot on his mind,

and that I need to

cut him some "slacks".

Oh, my God, what a f***ing moron!

I know. I know Phil's not the

brightest crayon in the box.

That is the understatement

of the century.

That's what I kind of

like about him, you know?

He's just simple.

I know that sounds perverse,

but he's kind of like my dad in that way.

You can scratch the surface

and there's just more surface.

I'm gonna get straight C's!

Show me.

My God, you're so f***in' crazy!

Phil is literally the boy next door.

And when he and his mother moved in

last year, I instantly despised him.

He was so dull and stupid.

I made fun of him.

Even earned a

special nickname: Garbage.

But then, one night that summer,

everything changed.

Me, Beth and Mickey, we were

doing what we did every Wednesday.

And even more bored than usual.

Sometimes I wish someone would

burn this place to the ground

so we didn't have to come here anymore.

Oh, tell me about it. Every week

it's the same f***ing people

with the same f***ing songs in

the exact same f***ing order.

- Oh, my God.

- What?

Look what the bats dragged in.

What the hell is Garbage doing here?

- Oh, sh*t, he's coming over here.

- Oh, God, what a f***ing freak.

Guys, be cool. Come on.

Hey.

Hey.

You live across the street from me.

I'm Phil.

I'm Kat.

This is, Beth and Mickey.

Hey.

This place seems cool.

You come here a lot?

Sometimes.

Is this your first time here?

I love this song.

Me too.

Hey, do you wanna dance?

Sure.

Wait, what if your parents come home?

It's my mom's shopping

day and my dad's at work.

You sure?

Yeah.

- Sorry. Oops.

- Okay.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Oh, God.

And like that, in a blink,

my virginity disappeared.

Just like my mother.

Hold on. I'm coming.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Hillman.

It's Eve Connors, from next door.

Hello.

Do you have a moment? May I come in?

Yes, of... of course.

Is... is everything all right?

Everything's fine. I just thought

we should have a little chat.

Oh, please, sit.

Can I get you a cup of tea,

or coffee, Mrs. Connors?

No, no thank you.

And please, call me Eve.

So...

what can I help you with, Eve?

Well, it seems my daughter

Kat and your son are dating.

I know. They're going to some

big fancy dance next week.

- Fall formal.

- The... that's... that's it.

Phil is, he's so excited.

I thought it might be a good

idea for us to get acquainted,

so I wanted to introduce myself, and...

Phil?

Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here.

Phil, this is Kat's mother, Mrs. Connors.

Hey.

She just... came by to say hello.

Okay.

Well, I'm just gonna head to my room.

He's a nice boy.

You can rest assured, Eve, that my Phil

will take good care of your daughter.

He's rented a tux, and everything.

Yes.

I'm taking Kat to the mall this

afternoon to buy a new dress.

If your mother was so unhappy,

why do you think she married

your father in the first place?

God, I have no idea.

Because he was there?

I mean, he wanted to marry her.

She had no other choice, maybe?

I mean, she went to college,

and she was working as a receptionist,

but what else was she gonna do?

I guess life with my father must have

been pretty bleak and miserable for her.

The night before she left I noticed

that she started dressing different.

What do you mean, different?

Like, her clothes got tighter. Sexier.

I mean, she even bought a miniskirt.

Then there was that night that

she walked in on me and Phil.

I think it's time for Phil to go home.

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