White Christmas Page #11

What can you do with a general

When he stops being a general?

Oh, what can you do

With a general who retires?

Who's got a job for a general

When he stops being a general?

They all get a job

But a general no one hires

They fill his chest with medals

While he's across the foam

And they spread the crimson carpet

When he comes marching home

The next day someone hollers

When he comes into view

"Here comes the general"

And they all say, "General who?"

They're delighted that he came

But they can't recall his name

Nobody thinks of assigning him

When they stop wining and dining him

It seems this country never has enjoyed

So many one and two and three

And four-star generals unemployed

Like Eddy told you,

that song is for the 151st Division.

The officers and the men

under the command

of Major General Tom Waverly.

I hope a lot of you guys were listening,

because I have something

I want you to do for me.

Don't you want to sit down?

No, no, sir. If you'll just walk me

around the barn a few times,

I think it'll be fine, sir. Yes.

It's a little too fast, sir.

If we just slow down a little bit, sir.

I know it's murder asking you to

leave your homes on Christmas Eve,

and certainly

a trip like this is no bargain.

It shouldn't be too tough

for the fellows who live in the

New England area, but remember this,

nobody connected with the show

is getting anything out of it,

nothing at all.

Except what we're offering you,

a chance to give the nicest

Christmas gift he'll ever get

to the nicest guy we'll ever know.

Remember, then,

your objective is Pine Tree, Vermont.

for Operation Waverly.

Hey, listen, men,

when I give you the signal,

I want you to fall in single file

on each side of the stage.

And I want you to fall in at attention

like that day at Montecatini when

Clark came through. You remember?

It was a big day for you. You got a lot

of that stuff hung on you. Remember?

I'm gonna have you face the general.

When I give you the command to march,

I want you to step right out,

just Iike you used to.

- All right, Captain.

- OK, boys.

- Captain, these things have shrunk.

- Your appetite hasn't shrunk.

Who's there?

They're sure gone.

How could you have sent

all my suits to the cleaners?

You've only got two.

Well, I think you'd send

one at a time then, in that case.

- Why can't you wear your uniform?

- Yes!

I won't appear in uniform.

- Please, Gramps.

- Absolutely not.

Very well, I'll explain to Bob and Phil

that you didn't care to

come to the show tonight.

- I'll have you court-martialed.

- Susan. You're not obliged to go.

They haven't done much for you,

hardly anything.

Emma, I'll make my own decisions.

I got along very well in the Army

without you.

It took 15,000 men to take my place.

- Susan.

- Fifteen thousand men.

I hope he comes down.

That'd be awful if he wouldn't.

It's Betty!

- Welcome home, Betty!

- Hello, Emma.

How are you?

- Hi, Susie.

- Hi, Betty.

- Where's Judy?

- She's coming.

- Honey. I'm so glad you came.

- Hello, Judy.

You didn't say anything to Bob, did you?

Hurry up now.

You haven't got much time to get ready.

If I weren't such a mean old biddy,

I'd break right down and cry.

Grandpa!

You look wonderful.

You didn't expect me to

come down in my bathrobe, did you?

No.

Ten-hut!

We'll follow the old man

Wherever he wants to go

Long as he wants to go

Opposite to the foe

We'll stay with the old man

Wherever he wants to stay

Long as he stays away

From the battle's fray

Because we love him

We love him

Especially when he keeps us on the ball

And we'll tell the kiddies

We answered duty's call

With the grandest son of a soldier

Of them all

Because we love him

We love him

Especially when he keeps us on the ball

And we'll tell the kiddies

We answered duty's call

With the grandest son of a soldier

Of them all

Troops are ready for inspection, sir!

Just routine, sir.

I am not satisfied

with the conduct of this division.

Some of you men

are under the impression

having been a non-CO

entitles you not to wear neckties.

Well, you're wrong.

Neckties will be worn in this area.

And look at the rest of your appearance.

You're a disgrace to the outfit.

You're soft. You're sloppy.

You're unruly. You're undisciplined.

And I never saw anything

look so wonderful in my whole life.

Thank you all.

- Thanks, Phil.

- General.

- I'm grateful, Captain.

- You're welcome.

Ten-hut!

When I was mustered out

I thought without a doubt

That I was through

With all my care and strife

I thought that I was then

The happiest of men

But after months of tough civilian life

Gee, I wish I was back in the Army

The Army wasn't really bad at all

Three meals a day, free

For which you didn't pay

Uniforms for winter, spring and fall

There's a lot to be said for the Army

The life without responsibility

A soldier out of luck

Was really never stuck

There's always someone higher up

Where you can pass the buck

Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army

Gee, I wish I was back in the Army

The Army was the place to find romance

Soldiers and WACs

The WACs who dressed in slacks

Dancing cheek to cheek

And pants to pants

There's a lot to be said for the Army

A gal was never lost for company

A million handsome guys

With longing in their eyes

And all you had to do was pick the age

The weight, the size

Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army

Gee, I wish I was back in the Army

The shows we got, civilians couldn't see

How we would yell

For Dietrich and Cornell

Jolson, Hope and Benny all for free

There's a lot to be said for the Army

The best of doctors

Watched you carefully

A dentist and a clerk

For weeks and weeks they'd work

They'd make a thousand-dollarjob

And give it to a jerk

Oh, gee, I wish I was back in the Army

Three meals a day

For which you didn't pay

A million handsome guys

With longing in their eyes

I thought that I was through

With all my care and strife

But after months and months

Of tough civilian life

Oh, gee

I wish I was back in the Army now

- Buster, lookit here!

- Hey, here it comes.

- This is it.

- Isn't this great?

Come on, Phil.

- Lookit here!

- Isn't this great?

- We may get snowed in here, pal.

- Oh, boy, this is great!

- Snow, snow

- Snow, snow

Snow

Hey! Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas!

Remember, kids, hold those candles up

good and high for me, aren't you?

Keep a nice straight line

when you go out there.

Don't go straggling all over the stage.

- How's your voice, Bobby?

- I'm Bobby.

Pardon me. Well, how's your voice?

You all right?

Give me a nice clear tone.

Let me hear it.

Those were the days.

OK, now, turn around.

We're gonna go on in a minute.

Watch your space. Don't get far apart.

Everybody the same distance. That's it.

Keep the candles up.

Keep them way up high.

OK, Byron.

I'm dreaming

Of a white Christmas

Just like the ones

I used to know

Where the treetops glisten

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