White Christmas Page #8

Bob, it wouldn't be too hard to

learn this game of horseshoes.

Now, would it?

It'd be a cinch.

Begging your pardon, sir,

but there's really

a lot to be said for leisure.

Of course, you've always been active,

but in time...

Never kid a kidder, son.

See you later.

That's a good one!

Fine, fine.

All right, kids, take a rest.

- I'm sure it's a great...

- Bob? Phil?

Ready to run through

the Choreography number.

I'll be with you in a minute.

It's the craziest thing I ever heard of!

How are you gonna get a whole

division up here by Christmas Eve?

So we don't get a whole division.

But there must be enough guys

in New England alone

from the old man's outfit

to fill a town this size.

At least enough guys

to let him know he's not forgotten.

Don't you think

putting the show on will do it?

Phil, if you'd seen the look in his eyes

when he read that letter

you'd know it wouldn't.

It's gonna take five days

to put the show on, is it?

That's right.

How are we gonna get in touch

with all the fellows?

Television. Ed Harrison.

I'm gonna go put a call in to him now.

I'll go on down to New York, and if I

can swing it, I'll get on his show

and make a pitch to the guys myself.

What do you think of it?

I think it's impossible,

ridiculous and insane.

- Anything else?

- Yeah. I wish I'd thought of it first.

You rehearse the number.

I'll put the call in, Bob.

Hey, Johnny, get the kids

for a dress rehearsal, will you?

Emma? Could you put in

a long-distance call for me?

I want to get Ed Harrison,

New York City.

- The television Ed Harrison?

- That's the fellow, yeah.

You'll catch him at Radio City, I think.

And let's keep it quiet.

This is kind of a personal thing.

Sure, sure. Ed Harrison, television.

Radio City, gee.

All right, fellas. From the top.

The theater, the theater

What's happened to the theater

Especially where dancing is concerned?

Chaps

Who did taps

Aren't tapping anymore

They're doing choreography

Chicks

Who did kicks

Aren't kicking anymore

They're doing choreography

Heps

Who did steps

That would stop the show

In days that used to be

Through the air they keep flying

Like a duck that is dying

Instead of dance

It's choreography

Ed, Ed, I know it's a long shot,

but there's no other way

to reach the men in a hurry.

How does it sound?

I love the idea of doing

something for the old man.

If it weren't for him,

I wouldn't know how to peel a potato!

Look, why don't you go all out?

Put the whole show on TV?

I'll come up there myself,

bring the camera, the crew, the works.

- Thanks, Ed, but that's not the idea.

- Well, it's a great idea.

Put the show on the whole network

right from Pine Tree. Play it up big.

A real Christmas Eve show,

all about how you're playing

Santa Claus to the old man, you know.

Plenty of schmaltz, lots of heart.

Would be worth over $100,000

in free advertising for you and Phil.

And, yeah,

we'll put the old boy on himself,

you know, the forgotten-man angle.

Tear their hearts out.

Here's the laundry, Emma.

I'm sorry, Ed. Sorry, but that's out.

We're not commercializing

on the old man's hard luck. No chance.

All I want to do is go on your show

and make a little pitch. OK?

Wonderful. Wonderful.

See you Sunday night then. Bye.

- Take it upstairs, Susan.

- All right.

Emma?

- Was there a telegram for me?

- What?

Yeah! Just an offer

from the Carousel Club in New York,

anytime you and Judy are available.

What's your technique?

Holding them up to the light?

- That's for amateurs. I use steam.

- You're quite a pro.

I'm thinking of turning in my uniform.

Stick your nose

in other people's business

and eventually you find out things

you wish you hadn't.

Anything specific?

Did you know the boys are planning

to put this whole show on television?

- Television?

- Right from here, on Christmas Eve.

I just heard Bob fix it with

Ed Harrison. It's a big deal.

Real schmaltz, I think they called it.

- They're even gonna put the general on.

- I just can't believe it.

That'll make him a pathetic figure

from coast to coast.

What's it gonna do to his pride?

Of course, you know it means

over $200,000 worth of free publicity

- for Davis and Wallace.

- Emma, that's a terrible thing to say.

I didn't say it. Bob Wallace said it.

I just heard him.

No. Bob wouldn't be involved in a thing

like that. I'm sure you're wrong.

Well, if I am, I'll resign as president

of the New England chapter

of Busybodies Anonymous.

Oh, dear, my nerves. It's the phone.

Hi, Betty. Have you seen Bob?

Do you know whether he made that

phone call to New York or not, Emma?

- I understand he did.

- Good.

I hear that television's

entered the picture.

- Then he worked it out?

- Beautifully.

- It's a great, little angle, isn't it?

- Brilliant.

Listen, keep this under your hat,

will you?

We wouldn't want the general

to know about it, because it's...

I can understand that.

Betty, that was Bob. He's waiting

to rehearse in the dining room.

- Anything wrong?

- Tell him I'm on the way.

- Hi, hon. How about some lunch?

- I'm not hungry.

- But Betty...

- I said I'm not hungry.

- What's with her?

- I'm not sure, but I have an idea.

I want to think about it.

Yeah, well, let's think about it over

a sandwich, kid. I'm starving to death.

- Change the routine...

- That other rehearsal's

got me crazy. I don't know...

Let's set up the next number.

Howdy. I was just going over

this Blessings number.

Something we could do together.

Want to try it from the release?

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

What's the matter? A bad key for you?

Look, I don't think

I'm right for this song.

Of course you are. Lays great for you.

Come on, now, let's try it.

- No, I don't think I'm right for it.

- Don't be silly.

What I'm trying to say is

I don't feel like doing this song.

I don't want to do this song. In fact,

I'm not sure I want to do the show.

Well, what is this?

You sleep well last night or what?

I'd rather not discuss last night,

if you don't mind.

Come now, I admit I was

a little carried away and everything,

but there's no use getting all upset

with just a simple little kiss.

Nobody signed a contract.

There's certainly nothing

for you to feel guilty about.

- Look who's talking about guilt.

- What do you mean by that?

I mean, you shouldn't mix fairytales

with liverwurst and buttermilk.

- What did you have for lunch today?

- I didn't have lunch.

Well, maybe you ought to eat something.

Why is everybody suddenly

so concerned about my eating habits?

- Why don't people leave me alone...

- Time, time, cut!

Let's get off the merry-go-round.

If you got something to say, say it.

Otherwise, let's get to work. I got

a lot of details here to take care of.

Well, then, let's just skip all this.

I certainly wouldn't want to interfere

with the business plans

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