Who Is Alice? Page #5

naked award winning actress.

- They're off my phone.

- Thank you.

- Safe on my laptop.

- Don't be funny Walter,

delete them please.

- Don't be such a prude.

It kind of turns me on

to think that people could see you naked.

- Hey I trusted you with those pictures.

- You invite me in?

- No, my daughter is upstairs,

I don't think it's a good idea tonight.

- You have a daughter?

- Yes.

- When were you going

to tell me about that?

- Well I'm not exactly hiding it from you.

- You know what, f***ing get out!

- What?

- Get the f*** out of the car!

- Hang on, you're not getting laid

so I have to get out?

- Yes, you know what.

This ride has become

complete waste of fuel.

- F*** you Walter.

Anna? Anna? Anna?

- So, did you win?

- Martin, Anna is gone.

- I was watching a movie till late

and someone randomly knocked on the door.

- Where is she?

- I opened the door and there

was this little girl crying.

- Tell me where she is.

What have you done with her you freak.

- She's with her dad.

- What?

- She's with her dad.

She had a headache, she

felt nauseous, and fever

and so I took her to see her father.

- Oh f***.

- I really think you need

a bit more responsibility Alice.

You can't leave your child home alone.

- Shut up.

- No you shut up.

What the f*** do you think you're doing?

- Where's Anna?

- Hi mum.

- Sweetheart.

- I was feeling sick mummy.

- I know baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

- Anna, mum and dad

will be right back okay.

- Have you gone insane?

You're leaving a seven year old

girl home alone all night?

You know what I think.

I think you wanted out.

You're using all this

because you can't admit to yourself

that you don't want Anna

and you don't want me.

- I'd better go.

- By the way,

leaving Anna home alone will damage you

in a custody hearing.

Even for an awards evening.

- I won.

- No, tonight you lost.

- So what do you think?

- I don't know Dick,

I think it's a bit weird.

For the first time in my life

I'm doing something meaningful.

I am helping people.

Well, actually I am helping raise

the levels of consciousness in humanity.

- In an orange dress?

- I'm a spiritual teacher now Leo.

This is what we wear.

- Why?

- What do you mean why?

There is no why.

We are showing people the light.

Here, we help them connect

with their true selves.

Exploring your true nature.

Okay whatever.

Now, I do need some help though

tomorrow night with the talk.

Would you sit on door

and collect the money?

- Yeah.

- See?

Sri Dickji.

It works I think.

- It doesn't even rhyme.

Dick, it's time!

- How many people are there?

- Just six.

- It's not about quantity Leo.

- I don't mind, I don't have to pay

the rent for the room.

- Namaste.

Welcome to this meeting in truth.

My name is Sri Dickji.

Today we're going to talk

about self-realization.

Many people suffer because

they believe themselves

to be a separate person.

But this is an illusion.

- Why?

- Because you are simply happening,

but our brains, your brain,

creates this self-awareness so you view

yourself, we all do, as an I.

- And so?

- There is no I.

- But I chose to come to this meeting.

- Ah, that's just a story

you're telling yourself.

- And that's the story

you're telling yourself.

- And Sandra, you may not

ask any more questions.

- Why not?

- Because you do not understand.

- Well maybe you are not

telling it very well.

- If you are identified

with your body and your thoughts,

then you don't see the

whole overview, do you?

So it just begs that question,

are you a duck or are you a bird?

- Eagle.

- Are you an eagle or are you a bird?

- Duck.

Eagle or a Duck, Dick.

- Are you an eagle or are you a duck?

Because an eagle flies high

and has a great overview,

whereas a duck just waddles

and flies to and then swims.

- So are there any more questions?

- Yes, Sandra?

- Did you just ask me if

I am an eagle or a Duck?

- And cut.

Have lunch everybody, take a break.

Thank you.

- Well done Sri Dickji.

- Thank you.

Do you know that some gurus they

use their status to get sex.

- Really?

- Think you'd fall for that?

- I'd see straight through it.

But you are more than welcome

to come back to my apartment

for some philosophical

discussion and herbal tea.

- I'm sure Sri Dickji would be honored,

but he might prefer a whiskey.

- Thank you my sweet servant.

I can't stay too late.

- Oh.

- I've got one of those boring investor

parties to go to with my dad.

- But I thought you had

something to make up to me?

- Well it's not that I like

going to those parties.

- I'm trying so hard

to have a nice evening.

All I want is for you

to spend the night with me.

You know how much I

love making love to you.

Please?

Send your dad a message.

- Alice?

- You're a computer programmer right?

- Yeah, in PHP, C++, Javascript.

- I just need you to get into this laptop.

I need the password.

- That would take me at least an hour.

- Do it.

- I'm not going to hack someone's

laptop without knowing why.

- I don't have time to explain.

You know Walter Blackmore, the actor.

Well this is his laptop.

I need the password.

Please Martin, you're

the only man I can trust.

- Okay, I'll bring it back in the morning.

- No, do it now.

I'll come back and pick it up in an hour.

- It's the middle of the night.

- Please Martin, I'd be really grateful.

Please?

- Okay, consider it done.

- Alice, Alice.

- Martin.

- What the f***?

- No, no, it's all right,

it's my neighbor.

I'll sort this out,

it's fine.

- You're sleeping with him.

- Go outside.

- Next time you have an

epileptic seizure Martin,

call a doctor.

- Epileptic seizure?

- You can't keep running to me.

- Martin has epilepsy and he fits

- You know, that's enough.

That's twice with this flipping dork here.

You, you've got issues.

I'm going home.

- Oh f***.

Go home Martin.

- It's the password.

Thank you Martin.

You're welcome Alice.

- Martin get out of here.

- So, you finally won an award?

- Finally?

- Yeah, I mean.

For how long have you

been in the industry?

- Quite a long time.

Hey, never too late to win an award.

- Alice.

- Ismael, hi.

How are you?

- Good, good.

How are you?

- Very well.

Good to see you.

- Good seeing you.

- I think life is total craziness.

It's like everything we perceive,

none of it's real.

How can we know what's true.

We can't.

You think you've woken up.

I think you're in a deep sleep.

- Great, thanks Alice.

- Yes thank you.

- I did mention to your agent

that we're looking for

someone mid-twenties.

Five years ago you would have

been perfect for this role.

But now you're just a

little bit more mature.

Don't take offense Alice,

I'm just trying to give you some advice.

- I'm not taking offense.

This audition is for a supporting role

and I only audition for leads.

So, I was giving you a chance.

- Giving me a chance?

- Yes Tom, goodbye.

- Hi, you've reached Walter,

leave a message.

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