Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? Page #4

She wants to fatten you up.

She's got a drawer

full of real jewels

in her desk in the study.

Now, Katy, we did promise

that we could lie

to other people,

but never to each other.

I'm not lying!

She's got a drawer full

of diamonds and things.

It's a secret drawer. She opens

it and presses the inside.

A secret spring?

Yes. What's this?

It's a head-chopper.

It almost looks

real, doesn't it?

Let me show you.

Come on, up you go.

Are you sure?

I don't think...

It'll just be pretend.

There you are. Now.

There you are.

Stay there. Lie back.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

the great Christopher Coombs,

magician to the

King of Alakazam,

will now demonstrate

chopping off a head

and putting it back on.

Before you lies the queen,

sentenced to lose

her whole head.

Now,

I pull the magic rope.

I say the magic words.

Abracadabra!

I don't mind, Christopher.

I'd rather have William anyway.

He slapped at his chest

as he sat on that bough

Singing "willow, oh

willow, titwillow!"

And a cold perspiration

bespangled his brow

Oh, willow,

oh, willow, titwillow!

And he sobbed and he sighed

and a gurgle he gave

Then he plunged himself

into a billowy wave

And an echo arose

From the suicide's grave

"Oh, willow,

oh, willow, titwillow!"

Everyone join in the refrain.

Now, I feel just as sure

as I'm sure that my name

Isn't willow,

oh, willow, titwillow

'Twas blighted affection

that made him exclaim

"Oh, willow,

oh, willow, titwillow"

And if you remain

callous and obdurate, I

Shall perish as he did

And you will know why

Though I probably shall not

Exclaim as I die

"Oh, willow, oh,

willow, titwillow!"

shall we all do it once more?

Yes!

Let me see. I have to...

Katy!

You... you gave him

to me once, Aunt Roo,

and I didn't like

the one this morning.

I gave you my teddy bear

for one night only

and then you promised

to give it back.

Now, didn't you?

Yes, but I want this one.

But the new one is better.

It has black shiny eyes

and the fur is all smooth...

Then you keep the new one

and let me have this one.

Katy, I'm sorry.

Excuse me, dear. Um,

Tell me, what's so special

about this teddy bear?

I told you, I used

to have one like him

a long time ago.

Of course.

Of course you did!

And now you found him again!

You mean, I can keep him?

Yes, certainly!

Dear, you can keep him.

Aunt Roo?

Mm-hmm?

Do you love me?

Because I love you.

Oh, yes! I love you

very much, darling.

Let's go back to the party now.

Please, Aunt Roo.

Please, let me keep him.

Please.

A woman is a branchy tree

A man a clinging vine, vine

And from her

branches carelessly

He takes what

he can find, find

He takes what he can find

But when

your time is past and gone

He'll care no

more for you, you

And many a day that

your garden is waste

Will spread all

over with rue, rue

Will spread all over

with rue

A woman is a branchy tree

A man a clinging...

He takes what

he can find, find

He takes what he can find

Come on.

Now, darling.

Be a good girl.

Sleep tight.

Mummy will see

you in the morning.

My darling. Be a good girl.

Sleep tight.

Mummy will see

you in the morning.

Thank you, Aunt Roo!

You're welcome,

You're welcome, children.

Oh, Miss Henley, they've

been such good children.

Thank you, Aunt Roo.

Well, thank you,

Peter, thank you.

Thank you, Angela.

And I hope you can all

come again next year.

Thank you, Aunt Roo.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year. Happy...

Oh, Miss Henley,

here's a gingerbread cake.

Thank you.

And this is for you.

Oh, Mrs. Forrest, you

shouldn't! But thank you.

And thank you again

for all of us.

Oh, it's such a lovely season.

I... I think I enjoy it

more than they do.

Last, as usual, Christopher.

Get into the car.

I can't. Katy's not here.

I'm not surprised.

I am sorry, Mrs. Forrest.

Children, is Katy Coombs

in one of those cars?

Katy Coombs.

No, ma'am.

I don't understand it.

We all had breakfast together.

We were playing all morning.

I know, but she

left something behind.

Katy, Katy, the cars are here!

Katy!

Katy!

Listen, she's done

something bad to Katy.

What a terrible thing to say!

She's got a mummy

in a secret room!

What? What?

I apologize for him.

He's a congenital liar with a

rather over-active imagination.

You'll be very severely

punished when you return.

No, no, please. I'm sure

she's just hiding somewhere.

I'll find her and send her

on after you've left.

Christopher! Come back here!

Christopher!

Ow!

I think he likes it.

Just put him into the car.

Come on, young bleeder.

Get in, you!

Christopher, don't

worry about your sister.

She's all right.

I know she's all right.

Happy New Year, children.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, Christopher.

"" The next morning, the

witch locked Gretel in the barn.

"And brought food to her."

"'When she's good and fat,"

"'I will stuff her and

put her in the oven"

"'and eat her.'

she told Hansel."

Albie, hmm,

Well, come in. Come in.

Uh, would you please...

Well, the party's

over, Mrs. Forrest,

and I think we have something

very important to discuss.

Uh, certainly, Albie. Certainly.

I'm sorry, dear, but I've

been so preoccupied lately.

Mrs. Forrest, I think

it's time to settle accounts.

Yes, of course.

But, dear, could you run downstairs

first and get me some lunch?

Get it yourself, Rosie Miller.

Rosie Miller?

Albie, I don't recall ever

giving you permission

to call me by my

professional name.

Rosie,

I'm going to tell you

what to do for once.

You're gonna write me a check

for 2,000 pounds.

2,000 pounds?

Then we're gonna wave bye-bye

to you, me and Clarine.

You can go back to

vaudeville or roll a hoop

or talk to the spirits all night

'cause we won't be around.

Albie, you and Clarine

wouldn't desert me,

Leave me alone in this big

house after all these years?

I'm sure you'll manage, madam.

Unless you give

me 2,000 quid, Rosie,

I'm gonna have to

report to the police

that you've become a kidnapper.

You've got Katy locked in

the nursery, haven't you?

Haven't you?

Go get me my checkbook.

2,000 pounds.

2,000 pounds?

That's more money than you've

seen in your whole life,

Isn't it, Albie?

Don't be a tightwad, Auntie, I'm

sure you won't even miss it.

Besides, from now on, you can

get Benton at half rates.

He won't have to split with me.

Split with you?

Benton split with you!

You're lying! I know

that you're lying!

You think so?

Next time you have a sance,

he won't have Clarine

calling down the

dumbwaiter shaft.

"" Just before

they ran out of the house,

"Hansel and Gretel took the

wicked witch's treasure."

Katy?

Katy?

Is that you?

We had turkey for

tea and ice cream

and gingerbread biscuits

and butterscotch.

And Aunt Roo said I could

keep her teddy bear,

as long as I stayed.

What happened?

Did she kidnap you?

And lock you up in here?

We played hide-and-seek

and hunt the slipper.

Now, listen to me.

You can't stay here.

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