Why Did I Get Married? Page #10

- if this list don't look right.

- Angie.

If you do the work, it'll be fine.

- All right.

- Bye.

- Bye, baby.

- Thank you.

I tell you, I need a legal pad

to write this list, honey.

You know what I would do

if I was single right now,

you know what I'd be doing?

Sitting here having

a drink with y'all.

Thanks for giving me a call.

They are wasted, man.

- We need another round!

- Where's your help, huh?

Night off.

Man, I told him, quit.

What's up, fellas?

- Hey!

- Hey!

How you doing, man?

I got the hen, man.

Oh, thanks.

We were sitting here

thinking of a way to kill our wives

and wondering

if you could help us.

Hey, that always works.

Mm-hmm.

- Oh, man.

- Tell me something, man.

Why is it that when a woman say

she want a good man

and then she get one, she do

everything she can to drive him crazy.

I got the answer.

'Cause women don't

know what they want,

especially yours.

Am I right, Gavin?

I'm gonna divorce Dianne.

I'm gonna call her up and tell her,

"You know what?

We're getting a divorce. "

Yeah, right. You and Dianne

are made for each other.

No. No. I ain't gonna call her.

I'm gonna send her a text.

You want to piss a woman off,

send her a text like something.

Oh, stop it.

Stop it, man.

You got a good woman.

You need to work it out.

Good woman or not,

she got to be willing

to work it out.

I had a good woman once.

Hmm.

Anybody seen Shelia?

Boy, Angela talks to her

from time to time

- but...

- Really?

Sound to me like you miss her.

- I'm...

- What?

No! No!

I don't miss her.

You made a mistake.

It's OK to say so.

I didn't make a mistake, all right?

Who are you talking to?

Heh. I should of just, you know...

I should of just...

done a background

check on Trina.

Ha! Girl don't do nothing.

She don't cook, don't clean,

don't... wash clothes.

Don't do...

take the garbage out.

She don't do...

she just don't.

Oh, she can shop.

'Cause she burning up

my American Express.

All right! Whoo!

Quality. Quality.

Hey, Gavin. You know

what that sound like to me?

80l20.

I tried to...

yeah, right.

You think about that

with Dianne.

Man, I'm going back to her.

I'm just right now...

I'm teaching her a lesson.

Yeah. What lesson is that?

You know

what the lesson is?

I ain't gotta be there.

That's the real lesson.

I don't... I don't...

I don't have to be there.

I can go.

Boo-yah!

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah. That's gonna look good.

36 years old.

Out there dating again.

Mm. That ain't the good look.

Especially the way

you're missing your ex.

Hey, Mike. You got

what you wanted, didn't you?

What's all this for?

I just thought

I would cook for you.

Come on, baby. Sit.

Oh, just let me

wash my hands.

OK.

Hello?

Hello?

Marcus?

Man, she has cooked.

She ain't said two words to me

since we got back.

I've been sleeping

with one eye open

and she cooked.

Well, if she ain't cooking grits,

you ain't got nothing

to worry about.

No, man.

She's trying to kill me.

Look, I'm calling you

'cause I want you to know

if something happens to me,

I want y'all to know she did it.

Just go eat

your dinner, all right?

Angela's not that crazy.

This is Angela.

You know what?

You're right.

She is kinda crazy.

Look, if anything tastes funny, spit it out.

OK, OK.

I love you, man.

I love you, too.

# Swift as a wind song #

# You sang the music of anhonest bird #

# I waited for some contradiction #

# Truth was ringing in your every word #

# And every moment since then #

# The one thing I can tell #

# Is that I belong with you #

# And no one else #

You haven't touched your food.

It's good, but...

I'm just not that hungry.

You know what I'm saying?

You're still lying.

I'm just saying, look...

you ain't said two words to me,

and all of a sudden

I come home and you cooked.

Marcus, look, I know

that I haven't been

the easiest woman

to get along with.

And I know it's been

hard for you.

But none of that matters.

Life is too short.

You're trying to kill me,

ain't you? Just cut to it.

Patricia gave you one of them

mind games to play on me.

Now, if it's about Keisha,

we can talk about Keisha.

Marcus, it's not about her.

It's about us, right?

Honey, I love you.

I just want us

to start over again.

Just me and you.

If that's OK.

You're serious?

Yes.

So...

if that is the case,

you gonna stop talking to me

like you crazy.

Done.

We're gonna stay

committed to each other.

And know that I am

doing my best.

I know you are, Marcus.

And I'm so sorry for making you feel

like you weren't.

One more.

You're gonna have to

stop drinking.

OK!

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait.

Oh, one second. OK?

I love you, baby.

I love you, too.

Finished.

- I bought that in Africa.

- Did you really?

- Yeah. Me and Dianne.

- Wow.

Oh. It's gorgeous.

Come in!

It was last year.

Really?

Dianne, what are you doing...?

Let me just say this, please.

I am wrong.

I am so wrong

for not telling you, and...

I've just taken you for granted.

And I'll do anything.

I'll do whatever it takes,

whatever it takes

so that you can

just come home.

Because... I made that list,

and I realize that I need you

and I love you.

What list?

What are you talking about?

I'm gonna go.

No, no, no.

What are you saying?

Are you saying we can work it out?

Yes.

Let me ask you something.

When we were in Colorado,

we were in the car,

and I said, "I tested

Kenya because, so and so. "

And then you said, "Huh,"

like she wasn't mine.

- Were you having an affair or something?

- No!

Terry, I was just mad.

I just said that to get back at you.

To get back at me?

OK.

And we can work this out

through anything?

Yes.

OK. I guess that means

I'll tell you this then.

She's pregnant.

With twins.

Oh, OK, OK.

OK, you know what?

We'll work it out.

We'll work it out.

You mean it?

Yeah.

OK.

Well, just like you said

just to get back at me

I just did that

to get back at you.

- She's not.

- Oh, Terry!

- Dr. Brock.

- We have never, ever, ever had an affair.

There's nothing going on.

And my boyfriend

would be very upset to hear you say that.

Yes. He's a big linebacker.

Thank God you got a boyfriend.

- Yes, I do.

- All right.

Well, then can you

just come home?

Please take him.

Take him home.

I'm very sorry.

- I will lock up.

- All right. Lock up.

Hey.

- How you doing, Marcus?

- Mike, Mike, look at you.

Hey, boy, you looking

real sweet.

Oh, nice suit.

I know your bald-headed ass

did not bring her up in here.

- Baby.

- Yes, I did.

All right. Come on.

Come on, now. Hey.

- Hi.

- You look gorgeous.

Thank you.

So do you.

And where have you been?

'Cause Pat's having a meltdown

about hair.

- Oh, are you serious?

- Yes.

Come on. I'm gonna

show you where she is.

OK. I'll see you guys.

You look good. Bye, baby.

Mwah!

Why is your wife so evil?

You stop it. All right?

I'm playing.

So, how you guys

been doing?

- We're good. How have you been?

- Good.

Rate this script:4.2 / 9 votes