Why Did I Get Married? Page #4

Angela, now, why you got to be...?

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, you guys. Hold on.

You know what, Angela?

That's below the belt. Come on.

Well, it's true, Dianne.

Angela, Marcus,

there is such a thing...

it's called fighting fair.

You guys know this.

We learned this

on the last vacation.

Listen, Patricia, when I get mad,

all that training goes out the window.

I don't want to hear this.

OK, wait a minute.

You may not want to hear it,

but you should listen, because

it worked for me and Dianne.

Oh.

All it means is that

you speak in a calm tone.

OK? You don't press

each other's buttons,

and you don't hit below the belt.

Exactly. And as long

as we've all been married,

we all know what our buttons are.

And when somebody says something

to hurt the other person,

you don't say something

worse to hurt them.

She do that all that time.

Well, then, Marcus,

why don't you guys find out

what you're really arguing about?

Look, I don't want

to play any damn games.

Clearly, she's not ready, so.

Let's get dinner started.

And what the hell are

those two over there

whispering and giggling about?

Y'all don't want to

be part of this conversation?

Sure we do. What's up?

Trina, we were gonna

get dinner started.

Why don't you join us?

Mm. I am so not

a woman for the kitchen.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna stay

and hang with the boys.

Oh, no. You gonna come

and bring your ass in the kitchen

where I can see you.

Yeah, come on. It'll be fun.

Yeah, get your ass

in here. Yeah. Come on.

What she think, we gonna

leave her with our men

and do all the work

in the kitchen?

I saw you laughing.

Marcus, I don't know how you do it.

Man, thank you.

You're welcome.

You have ruined this

week for all of us.

Every one of us.

Shh! Stop it.

Don't blame me,

'cause y'all can't

handle your women.

You know you're wrong, right?

- Tell him.

- You know you're wrong.

For making Shelia drive up here

by herself.

You're right.

You're right.

I should have made

her chunky ass walk.

You know she needs

the exercise.

Man, if I said something like that

to Angela,

I'd be hanging up there

with them deer horns.

Who is this girl?

Uh... she's sexy, ain't she?

Mike? Are you...

are you hitting that?

No, I plead the fifth.

I ain't saying nothing.

And you bring her up...

whoa, whoa, whoa.

You bring her up in here, man?

Let me tell you something.

I'm serious, man.

I'm so serious right now.

If I don't get none,

I'm whuppin' your ass.

You laugh all you want.

Yeah. Ah-ha.

Ah-ha. Hell!

Aw, Mike has been

the man since college, boy.

Hold the... hold the hell up.

How you gonna admire him

when you got your situation?

Whoa, whoa. Situation?

Situation? Come on, man.

I got burned.

- By Angela?

- No, man. No!

You got to be more careful, man.

It ain't got nothing

to do with being careful.

He shouldn't have did it.

Look, what your wife

don't know won't hurt her.

You know what?

It's that kind of comment,

that kind of thinking right there,

that's why black women

have the leading new cases of HIV

in this country, because of that.

Oh, here comes the doctor with the stats.

Here we go. Here we go.

Hey, look, I'm with Terry.

He's right.

Hey, 2 out of 4 got some sense.

Y'all been married 10 years.

10 years.

Not once?

10 years. No.

Never?

You're gay.

Have you thought

about it?

Of course you think

about it. We're men.

But then I think about

what that's going to do to her

and my family, and they worth it.

Thank you.

All right, you got something to say?

- OK, all right, yes.

- All right, thank you.

It ain't much.

I mean, there was this woman

who, you know, she was at me,

but nothing happened.

Why not?

Look at your situation.

You told me

Dianne wasn't giving it up.

You ain't had none

in 3 months. Now!

You told my business,

I just told yours.

What? When you get back,

you call her up.

All right. You hook that up.

Look, if your wife

ain't giving you none,

you got the legal right to get some.

It's a law, you hear me?

It's a law. Don't look at me like that.

You got the legal right...

I'm trying to figure out

what the hell country that's the law in.

Which one is that?

It don't matter.

It don't matter.

- I'm telling you...

- Wait a minute. Tell me the law again.

- Tell me the law again.

- No, no.

If your wife ain't giving you any...

listen to this, fellas.

You know I'm telling the truth.

Look, that's why everybody quiet. OK.

If your wife ain't giving you any,

you got the legal right to get some.

All right? Now, I read it in some book.

Some law book.

I don't know what it is.

What? Why y'all looking at me?

It's probably in the constitution.

In the constitution?

You sure it wasn't the bible?

The declaration of independence...

- That's what it is.

- That's what it is?

Hi.

What are you doing out there?

I am looking for Lake Leland.

Oh, you're only about 5 miles away.

Good. OK.

Which way is it? Please.

It's up the mountain,

but you're not gonna get up there tonight.

I grew up in Detroit.

I know how to drive in snow, OK?

Thank you very much.

No, miss.

We've got a couple

trees down up there.

You're not gonna get through.

But they'll be cleared out by morning.

So... there's no way to get up there?

No.

Sorry.

Are you with the group here

for the couples retreat?

Yeah.

Is there a hotel?

Yeah, there's one.

But it's up the mountain, too.

This is gonna be a long night.

Listen, I can offer you a cell

until morning.

It's not much,

but at least you'll be

warm and dry.

Then in the morning,

I'll take you up there myself. OK?

OK.

Can I get you some coffee?

Please.

Thank you.

I never been in jail before.

Well, technically, you still haven't.

I didn't actually arrest you.

- Thank you.

- Not a problem.

I'm Troy, by the way.

Shelia.

Pleasure to meet you, Shelia.

Welcome to Pemberton.

Thank you.

So, um, what's a black man

doing up here in these sticks?

- Sticks, huh?

- Yeah.

Hmm. I'm an army brat.

And I was born here.

Came back when my dad got sick.

That's actually his house

you guys are renting.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

How's your dad now?

He died last year.

Sorry.

That's OK.

He had a full life.

He lived till he was 82.

After he passed,

I decided to stick around.

Mm. Mm!

Something wrong with the coffee?

It's a little bitter.

Oh. Sorry about that.

Tell me something.

Why are you driving up

to a couples retreat alone?

My husband had to go ahead.

Well, why didn't

he come with you?

I wouldn't want my wife

out there traveling all by herself.

- You married?

- Divorced.

Hmm.

You hungry?

Don't I look hungry?

What's that supposed to mean?

Come on. Don't act

like you don't see I'm a big girl. OK?

Well, big girls gotta eat, too, right?

I got some chili if you want some.

It's an old family recipe.

I think you'll like it.

- OK.

- OK.

What took you so long?

Good night.

Excuse me?

Not tonight. I got a headache.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, come on. Stop.

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