Wide Awake Page #2

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- To the back stairs, Robin.

- Right, Batman.

- Morning.

- Hi.

[Screeching]

[Imitating Monkey]

Brickman is such a weirdo.

He's weirder...

than a regular weirdo.

He's lord of all weirdos.

[Nun]

I'm sorry.

Robert's having

a bad day, it seems.

[Door Slams]

[Joshua's Voice] It's funny;'

When you fiirst get an idea...

sometimes it comes

when you look at something...

you've looked at

a hundred million times.

You ever think about God?

We go to Catholic school.

God's, like, our homework.

- No, really.

- No. I don't think about God.

- Do you think He's real?

- Nope.

- Why not?

- Too many bad things happen

to people for no reason.

- Do you think He's real?

- Nope.

- Why not?

- Too many bad things happen

to people for no reason.

If you believe in him, it's cool.

I drink chocolate milk through my nose.

What do I know?

[Joshua's Voice]

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

[School Bell Ringing]

- [Boys Shouting]

- We have recess!

[School Bell Ringing]

- [Boys Shouting]

- We have recess!

[Shouting Continues]

Oh, come on.

I'll get it.

[Joshua's Voice]

Meet Freddie Waltman.

Oh, I'm sorry, ball boy.

Did you want that?

Every kid my size has

to deal with a Freddie Waltman.

See that new kid?

He's even smaller than me.

He hasn't got a prayer.

I don't know why

they put this fence up.

Why would anyone want to go

over there anyway?

Hey,Josh.

Why would anyone want to go

over there anyway?

Hey,Josh.

Do you want to play

ninjas with me?

Hey,Josh.

Do you want to play

ninjas with me?

Tomorrow, Frank.

Really?

Tomorrow?

- Yeah. Tomorrow.

- [Whistle Blows]

I gotta go.

They need me.

- Yeah. Tomorrow.

- [Whistle Blows]

I gotta go.

They need me.

[Joshua's Voice]

That's Frank Bennett. He sweats a lot.

My parents are

really busy people.

You have to know

when to ask them something.

My parents are

really busy people.

You have to know

when to ask them something.

What?

- Hmm?

- Do you hear something?

- No.

- Oh.

Can I ask

you guys something?

-Joshua?

- [Sighs] Not the lights.

What's wrong?

I'm just wondering if...

- I could join the football team?

- [Mom Sighs]

Mom, please?

Josh, we're physicians, okay?

Trust us on this.

Mom, please?

Josh, we're physicians, okay?

Trust us on this.

You haven't been

in an emergency room.

You haven't seen a compound fracture

or a ruptured spleen...

- or severe facial lacerations, okay?

- Dad, I'm not going to war.

- The answer is no.

- Don't worry,Josh.

You won't be a nerd all your life.

- or severe facial lacerations, okay?

- Dad, I'm not going to war.

- The answer is no.

- Don't worry,Josh.

You won't be a nerd all your life.

- Not the lights.

- [Mom] Neena?

- The answer is no.

- Don't worry,Josh.

You won't be a nerd all your life.

- Not the lights.

- [Mom] Neena?

- I heard voices.

-[Joshua] come on, Mom.

We wear pads and all.

- You can't get hurt.

- Listen to your mother,Josh. Please?

You can always become

a midget wrestler and wrestle on TV.

- They can call you "The Pygmy..."

- " From Pennsylvania."

Get some new material.

[Sighs] Play football all of a sudden.

What's the big deal?

Just give me one good reason.

One.

Grandpa played football.

[children Laughing, Shouting]

Okay, okay.

Let's go, girls.

Rows of fiive.

Shoulder length apart.

Legs together.

Touch your toes and don't bounce.

Ready? One, two, three, four.

Two, two, three, four.

Ready? One, two, three, four.

Two, two, three, four.

Get down there!

Get down there!

Two, two, three, four.

Get down there!

Get down there!

Grab some dirt.

Let's go.

Get down there!

Get down there!

Grab some dirt.

Let's go.

Three. I can't hear you!

Grab some dirt.

Let's go.

Three. I can't hear you!

- [Players] Four.

-[coach] Is that the way

we do this drill?

- [Players] Five.

- You our mascot or somethin'?

- [Players] Six.

- No.

- [Players] Seven. Eight.

- I tried out,

but your mom got the job fiirst.

- [Yelling]

- [Whistle Blowing]

[coach]

Hey, break it up over there!

Hey!

What the hell's this?

[coach]

Hey, break it up over there!

Hey!

What the hell's this?

Smurf was bustin' on my moms.

Hey!

What the hell's this?

Smurf was bustin' on my moms.

You must be in advanced English.

[Yelling]

You must be in advanced English.

[Yelling]

[Players Grunting]

[Joshua's Voice] My grandpa was

a really great football player.

He ran for 200 yards in one game.

He believed in two things;'

He ran for 200 yards in one game.

He believed in two things;'

Always keep both hands on the ball...

and always hold on to your faith.

-[Priest] Thou art with me.

-[Joshua] Faith will get you through.

[Priest]

Thy rod and Thy staff,, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me

in the presence of mine enemies.

Thou anointest my head with oil.

My cup runneth over.

Surely, goodness and mercy will

follow me all the days of my life...

and I will dwell in the house

of the Lord forever.

Surely, goodness and mercy will

follow me all the days of my life...

and I will dwell in the house

of the Lord forever.

Today, we would like

to begin communion...

with those members

of the congregation...

suffering illness

and physical ailments.

I didn't know Mrs. Pittman was sick.

The Body of christ.

The Body of christ.

[Priest]

Our Father, who art in heaven...

hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done...

on Earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day

our daily bread...

and forgive us our trespasses...

as we forgive those

who trespass against us.

[Joshua's Voice]

Grandpa was my mom's dad.

He was the one who told her to go

to medical school when she was a girl.

[Joshua's Voice]

Grandpa was my mom's dad.

He was the one who told her to go

to medical school when she was a girl.

[Whispering]

I miss him too.

[Sighs]

[Joshua's Voice]

Football isn't the answer.

It's time I told Dave

about my idea.

Dave O'Hara lives

in a really big house.

But he spends most

of his time in a closet...

Dave O'Hara lives

in a really big house.

But he spends most

of his time in a closet...

three feet by fiive feet,

under the stairs.

We've been hit!

Abort mission!

Negative, Lieutenant. We have orders.

We have to go faster.

We're already at light speed!

They're gaining!

- We're gonna be barbecued!

- Lieutenant, sound alarm: DEFCON 1 .

Fighter craft, four o'clock.

- We're gonna be barbecued!

- Lieutenant, sound alarm: DEFCON 1 .

Fighter craft, four o'clock.

[Dave Making Beeping Noises]

How come you never

talk about girls?

Don't know.

What do you think about her?

Oh, she's okay.

For someone who's so smart,

you're pretty stupid.

Likin' girls,

it's just a biological reaction.

" Biological reaction"?

What kind?

Well, I don't know.

I haven't had one yet.

- You know what, Dave?

- What?

I'm goin' on a mission.

A real mission.

What kind of mission?

The kind where you're looking

for something important.

What are you gonna look for?

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