Wide Awake Page #5

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in India who did that.

And, well,

I don't know if it counts or what...

but I got hungry during the night.

Do you think six hours

counts as a fast?

I think six hours counts.

Joshua, why do you feel

the need to do these things?

What is it you're trying to fiind?

God.

Why?

Am-Am I doing something wrong, or...

Oh, no. No.

In fact, a lot of people

spend their lives in search

of what you're looking for.

Only those people usually fiinish

grammar school fiirst.

In fact, a lot of people

spend their lives in search

of what you're looking for.

Only those people usually fiinish

grammar school fiirst.

Can I ask you

about your grandfather?

Your mom tells me

the two of you were really close.

In fact, this summer,you didn't

go away to camp with your friends.

Your mom tells me

the two of you were really close.

In fact, this summer,you didn't

go away to camp with your friends.

You stayed home

so you could be with him.

Do you know what happened to him?

He died of bone marrow cancer.

That's right.

Did you get to go to the funeral?

Well, that's okay.

That's all right.

You know, it's just that

sometimes, people...

need a chance to cry...

You know, it's just that

sometimes, people...

need a chance to cry...

to let go,

to get things out.

Maybe you never got that chance.

to let go,

to get things out.

Maybe you never got that chance.

Know what?

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Maybe you never got that chance.

Know what?

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Can I go?

Sure. That's all right.

You can go.

But, hey.

This wasn't so bad, was it?

What do you say we get together again,

and we can talk? How 'bout...

- How 'bout Tuesday after school?

- Oh, sorry. I can't.

Oh, no? Why is that?

It's Hanukkah.

Well, I bought candles.

Oh, no? Why is that?

It's Hanukkah.

Well, I bought candles.

Oh.

[Joshua's Voice] I think my parents

want to have a talk with me.

They look stressed.

They keep taking me places.

Dad, how come you've been spending

so much time with me these days?

What, I can't spend time

with my own son? I mean...

You're not doing this

'cause you're worried about me, are you?

No. Of course not.

[Joshua's Voice]

And every time it seems like

they're gonna say something...

they don't.

I feel bad.

I'm wigging my parents out.

But I can't help it.

I can't stop thinking.

Joshua?

What's the matter?

Joshua?

What's the matter?

You know what?

What's the matter?

You know what?

Think I just had

a "revelization."

Really?

Think I just had

a "revelization."

Really?

Yeah. I used to think

this place was magic.

Really?

Yeah. I used to think

this place was magic.

I'd see the toys...

I'd see all kinds of magical worlds.

What do you see now?

Plastic.

Plastic and paint.

Well, there's still some magic,

but it gets less and less every year.

Plastic and paint.

Well, there's still some magic,

but it gets less and less every year.

Maybe by the time

I have a son...

I won't even remember

the magic anymore.

[Joshua Thinking]

My mom said something weird when

she dropped me at Billy's party.

She said,

"Honey, please try to have fun. "

Why'd she say that?

I know howto have fun.

Ohm

Nothing's happening.

Then you ain't doin' it right.

Nothing's happening.

Then you ain't doin' it right.

- I think I'm getting an itch.

- Don't think about it.

It's itching in two places.

- I think I'm getting an itch.

- Don't think about it.

It's itching in two places.

[Sighs]

You're not concentrating.

It's itching in two places.

[Sighs]

You're not concentrating.

I think I'm getting an itch too.

You guys suck.

It's bad,Josh.

How long are we

supposed to do this?

A long time.

Okay, you're supposed to breathe

in a certain way.

But I haven't fiigured

that part out yet.

What's supposed to happen?

Are you having a biolog...

What's it like?

Like choking on a LifeSaver,

but worse.

You can't say anything.

-Just say what you're thinking.

- I can't.

- Yes, you can.

- No, I can't.

Just say it.

- Yes, you can.

- No, I can't.

Just say it.

I think you're prettier than any of the

swimsuit models in the swimsuit edition.

Oh.

I think you're prettier than any of the

swimsuit models in the swimsuit edition.

Oh.

[Giggling]

What's goin' on?

Someone dared Dave

to jump in the pool.

- It's freezin'out there.

- He won't do it.

Who's that?

That's Dave.

Dave's my best friend.

You know what?

Dave's a daredevil.

That's Dave.

Dave's my best friend.

You know what?

Dave's a daredevil.

He's not afraid of anything.

Not anything.

When he grows up,

bet he's gonna be one of those guys...

who gets shot out of a cannon

at the circus.

When he grows up,

bet he's gonna be one of those guys...

who gets shot out of a cannon

at the circus.

Let's go.

Whoo!

[Water Splashing, Kids cheering]

God?

Yeah.

You think that's crazy, don't you?

It's different.

- No, you think it's crazy.

- It's different, okay?

That's all I said.

- No, you think it's crazy.

- It's different, okay?

That's all I said.

[Joshua's Voice]

Journal entry seven.

Dave O'Hara can do anything.

[Joshua's Voice]

Journal entry seven.

Dave O'Hara can do anything.

[Kids Cheering]

If he says it can't be done,

it can't be done.

What can I tell ya, G-man?

consider that chapter closed.

- What d'you mean?

- I mean she probably thinks

you're a mental patient.

What can I tell ya, G-man?

consider that chapter closed.

- What d'you mean?

- I mean she probably thinks

you're a mental patient.

[Sister Terry] All right,

your parents are waiting, gentlemen.

No running in the parking lot.

[Sister Terry] All right,

your parents are waiting, gentlemen.

No running in the parking lot.

Okay, Crimmins, Hall, Nordon, Ellard.

This whole mission business

is getting out of hand.

You're wiggin', man.

Let it slide as long as possible.

You're wiggin', man.

Let it slide as long as possible.

- People are talkin'.

- You don't know.

I don't?

Answer me one thing:

- People are talkin'.

- You don't know.

I don't?

Answer me one thing:

In all this time and all the stuff

you've been doing...

have you gotten one sign...

any sign...

to let you know there is a God?

No. So what does that say?

I'll tell you what it says.

Either there ain't no God...

I'll tell you what it says.

Either there ain't no God...

or there is a God and He don't care

that you're lookin' for Him.

Either way, it's time to stop.

O'Hara,you're up.

See you tomorrow,Josh.

Simms, Smith,Jones, Barker.

[Joshua's Voice]

Journal entry nine.

Starting to doubt my mission.

I really need a sign to know

whether to keep going or not.

Please.

I need one bad.

Anything happen in here?

Hap... What d'ya mean, happen?

Well, like... lights flickering,

or a strong wind...

or a holy vision,

anything like that.

Well, like... lights flickering,

or a strong wind...

or a holy vision,

anything like that.

l-I didn't see anything, honey.

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