Wild Child Page #3

Who is it?

Jesus Christ.

Oh, dear. We were

led to believe...

you had a beard and sandals.

Now, we'll have to change that...

stained-glass window

in the school chapel.

Look, I didn't start

it, it wasn't my fault,

and if this were

America, I would sue.

That girl is a

grade one a-hole...

with a severe

attitudinal problem.

I know perfectly well

what happened, Poppy.

Then why isn't

Harriet here too?

Because, unsurprisingly,

it's you I want to talk to.

Look, I know it's

very difficult...

being the only new

girl in your year.

You mean, the

only normal girl.

- What do you like

to read, Poppy?

OK Magazine,

People, Us Weekly.

Well, might you be

able to tackle...

such a thing as a book?

- I prefer movies.

- Well, my personal library...

seems to be missing...

the book version

of Freaky Friday.

So, perhaps you

might try this.

- Oh, my uncle's producing

the film version.

Alice in Wonderland

was originally a book.

You might surprise yourself

and actually enjoy it.

This is my punishment?

This school is so weird.

What do you want...

to get out of this

school, Poppy?

To get out of this school.

You know, this school

has produced...

absolutely nobody of note.

Our leading light was the girl...

who was Princess

Diana's foot doctor.

So, if your aim is to make

the pages of Us Weekly,

then this isn't

the place for you.

What we do produce are smart,

independent, free-thinking,

good-hearted girls

who remain friends for life.

The kind of girl

that, behind all...

your wisecracks,

I know you are.

Run along now, I must get on.

My in-tray is piling up.

Not brown enough. More coffee.

More elbow grease.

You're ageing these clothes,

not stirring your tea.

I need complete authenticity.

Charlotte heard Freddie say

I looked exactly like

Keira Knightley.

Right. That's done.

Empty the water.

Not that way, fool.

You'll spill it.

Out the window.

- Out the window?

- Just get on with it.

Are you sure?

So sorry.

Just can't trust

the help these days.

Do you have a pass

to be out during lessons?

- Oh, yeah, I do.

It's right here.

Well, don't walk on the grass.

For the tenth time,

you need to make your bed.

Jesus. What's so bloody hard?

Pick up. Put down. It's

not rocket science.

Sit down. I'll do that.

Thanks.

- You're freezing.

You need a jumper.

Whatever that is, I

don't think I have one.

I don't think I have anything

thicker than prosciutto.

Thanks. I didn't

really come prepared.

Didn't figure I'd

be here this long.

Nothing worse than the

only message you...

get all day being from

the phone company.

But Matron took

all the phones.

No. She took all your phones.

She took our decoys.

She has no idea that

none of them work.

We keep our real

phones hidden.

Here. Call your parents.

Call your therapist.

Knock yourself out.

But why would you

do this for me?

You think I'm a total a**hole.

No, you behave

like an arsehole.

There's a difference.

Look, I know that I'm not

some Malibu therapist,

but I can guess that

you're feeling scared...

and a little bit homesick.

Which, in my experience,

doesn't actually...

make you a bad person.

Just a normal one.

Sweet photo.

Is it your mum?

She going to come

out and visit?

She died in a car

accident when I was 11.

Oh.

Poppy, I'm so sorry.

I know you're not some

Malibu therapist, but...

Listen.

- Are you serious about

getting out of here?

Yeah.

Then, you're going

to have to get...

yourself expelled.

Okay.

'Anybody disporting themselves...

in an improper manner

will be proposed...

- 'for expulsion before

the Honor Court.'

Wait. Honor Court?

It's like a trial in front

of the whole school...

by your peers, your teachers,

the Head Girl,

and Mrs. Kingsley.

But I'm telling you, it

hardly ever happens.

If you really want

to get expelled,

you can't just rock the boat.

You have to drive it

up onto the rocks,

set fire to the galley

and dance on the burning deck.

- You have to take

it all the way.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Make your calls.

Tip for best reception.

On top of the cupboard.

Hi, Ruby. I miss you.

I'm going to escape,

though. I promise you.

You have no idea

what it's like here.

Ew.

Who is she? Zero

lip gloss upkeep,

and what's with the

sweater from Target?

I wish you could

come and rescue me.

She is such a romantic, Roddy.

Take care of Roddy for me.

You already have.

Let's hit the pool.

Watch it, Wee Willie Winkie,

you'll set us all alight.

Now, I've had a word

with the girls.

True, some of them took...

a little more

convincing than others.

But it's decided. We're

going to help you.

We're your very

own crack unit.

Operation Freedom.

- Kiki, please explain.

- Right.

We'll commence with an

entry-level basic...

favorite. Just to

get warmed up.

- It smells like pee in here.

- Does not smell like pee.

But it's no good...

just playing the

same old tricks.

Try to be as

imaginative as possible.

Only do things that

will get you noticed.

Vary your targets

as much as you can.

And although we'll

all be helping you,

the important thing

to remember...

Harriet.

Is that you have to

get the blame...

for everything.

Run along.

Speaking.

Headphones on, girls.

Come on, everybody.

Don't run too fast...

in your flip-flops.

We'll just jump in,

have a quick paddle

about, warm up,

then have tea and

crumpets, yes?

Yes, I'm in school right now.

Regulation uniform.

Skirt just below the knee.

Of course.

They are a simple polyester.

Sturdy and practical.

No, I have certainly

not been naughty.

My disciplinary

record is exemplary.

Are you okay?

Get out. Get out.

Please, get out.

Yes, thank you very much.

That's it. Thank you.

If you make enough

of a nuisance of yourself...

Poppy Moore.

She will eventually bow to...

pressure, and she'll have

to call your father.

Naturally I'll

call her father,

but she's had a

difficult time.

No, Sara, please.

It's all right, dear.

- Mr. Nellist.

- Sorry.

And then, with any luck,

she'll recommend you

to the Honor Court.

Unbe-bloody-lievable.

She's got more lives

than a Buddhist cat.

Kingsley's not even

mentioned Honor Court.

- I think people are

starting to like her.

People?

People can learn to get used

to rotting pig's vomit...

- if they live with

it for long enough.

Maybe she's trying to leave.

It'd be a nightmare

if she stayed.

She makes a mockery

of the system.

She's not staying.

Take it from me.

Five generations of my family

have made this school great.

The school motto is...

scholarship,

fellowship, loyalty.

Not be a slutty,

whore-y sh*t-brain.

So brilliante, Harriet.

Mr. Nellist, don't

cry. Maybe a tissue.

I can't stand her.

It's driving me crazy.

Perhaps a strong cup of tea.

I'm only sorry it can't

be something stronger.

Cup of tea.

Come on, quick.

- Quick. Give me the

tape. Give me the tape.

Quick.

Pull the button off.

- Oh, my God. There's a car.

- Quick.

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