Win It All Page #2

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[sighs]

F***.

She makes good cookies.

[grunts softly]

[sniffs]

Nope.

Don't do it, you goober.

[claps hands]

Don't do it.

Don't you bet on this.

Don't do it.

- [laughing]

- Did Jake hear anything?

No, I'm looking through the screen.

F***in' body building, everything.

- Oh, my God.

- Man...

- I'm sorry.

- It would have been bye-bye, Arthur.

- That's a great story, though.

- [laughs]

No, that wasn't no story.

That sh*t's for real.

Yo, what we got on this? Italian beef?

[Berg] Twenty.

And... Plus an Italian beef.

Good. I need it

for some gas money, anyway.

All right, good shot, good shot.

[sighs]

Don't.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Ew. Gross.

What the f***?

Oh, f*** me, man.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Holy sh*t.

Oh, no.

Well, that's not great. [sighs]

That's not...

[sighs] F*** me.

The fact that you're even thinking

about this plan...

means that that bag is gonna be devoid

of money in less than three weeks.

- Not true.

- Absolutely true.

There is a happy ending on this one.

Absolutely.

- There can't be a happy ending.

- There can.

There's never been a happy ending

for you.

That's a loser's attitude.

Every story you ever told me,

from the day I've met you,

has been about how you were here

and then you ended up here.

Because you're my sponsor.

Am I gonna just tell you

my glory stories?

Most of 'em are winning stories.

- Who's your... Who's your sponsor?

- You.

Me?

No, I'm not. No.

- Yeah, you are.

- I'm not your sponsor,

because you haven't been

to a meeting in six months.

There's a system in place,

and that program's supposed to work

a particular way.

Let me tell you who I am.

I'm gonna tell you.

I'm a guy who you invite to diners.

And then you spout your bullshit

about what you're gonna do.

You hope I accept it, so you don't

feel guilty about your behavior.

My sponsor.

Is that what you got from the program?

You got that that's...

What I just said...

You characterize that as a sponsor?

I just wanna take $500 out of the bag,

and I wanna gamble with it.

And then as soon as I win anything,

I put the original $500 back in the bag,

and I put the bag away.

You're a loser. You've never won.

You lose, lose, lose.

- USDA prime-rib f***ing loser!

- No, I'm not.

That's the cut of you. It's cut...

It's a six-ounce filet of loser.

- You're not gonna win money!

- I might.

- There's no...

- If I pay it back,

which is $500, which is doable,

what's the problem?

If you take $500,

you're gonna take $500 more.

- No, I'm not. My line is...

- You absolutely are.

No, my line is $500.

I don't touch it after that.

Ninety percent of what you've said

since we've sat down is asinine!

Gene, it's an opportunity.

It's an opportunity that I've never had.

I've never had this kind of financial nut.

The opportunity that you have now is

to leave the bag in the closet,

do f***ing nothing,

and then get paid money,

no risk, at the end.

Do you see that?

- Do you see that?

- Yeah, I'm really glad I called.

- I'm not gonna touch the money.

- You're not gonna touch the money?

Thank you.

I'm not gonna touch the money.

- Awesome.

- I'm done. Thank you. I needed this.

Thank you.

[grunting]

[indistinct chatter]

All right. I see. I see.

[all laughing]

Twenty-one! Good boy, man!

[laughing]

Nine.

[all] Oh!

- Whoo!

- [all laughing]

- I'll take a beer. I don't care which one.

- [bartender] You got it.

[laughs]

Whoa!

[indistinct chatter]

Oh!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I told you! I f***...

[grunting]

[Eddie] Keep all that for you.

Keep it close.

I'm coming right back for more, okay?

- You got it.

- Thank you, Paul.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[overlapping chatter]

[all chanting] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Yes, sir!

[Eddie] Drink up! We're drinking all night.

- Everything's on me.

- [Arthur] Yes!

Yes, I was scared.

Yes, I was f***ing scared.

But now, that's even.

Everything's back, and I'm up two.

So now that I'm up f***ing two, man,

it's like...

- Now I can jump.

- [Berg] That's easy money.

You can jump.

[Eddie] 'Cause if I lose this,

I'm where I started.

All right, we're gonna celebrate.

Thank you for coming.

I'm glad you are out.

This is... Man, I needed this, man.

I needed... This feels like...

- [Berg] You deserve this, Eddie.

- [Arthur] Deserve it.

Thank you, guys.

Hey, grab another one. All night.

- All night?

- Tell 'em I got you.

[Eddie] Paul, I got you all night.

- Yes!

- [Eddie] Paul!

- Give me a beer.

- Need another?

- I'll take one.

- Big bag of pretzels.

[laughter and indistinct chatter]

- Oh!

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

- Um...

[both chuckle]

Oh, no, no, no. I'm so sorry.

- Um...

- Okay. Sorry about that.

After you.

[scattered laughter]

Hey, man. You know, location is key.

My uncle got the spot, so...

Arthur, go ahead. Call your uncle.

Tell him this is real.

We're on at this point, though.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey.

- What's up?

Whatever those ladies over there

are drinking, give 'em another round.

On me.

- On you? Nice.

- Yeah. Okay?

I need you to go over there

and bring it to them.

- I don't do table service here.

- I know, just do it for me.

Just go over and do it.

When they ask, "Who's it from..."

- I got a full bar.

- I know.

It's gonna take you one minute.

What, they're gonna freak out

and demand a drink?

Just do me a favor.

How many times have you been here?

Have you ever seen me go out

behind the bar

- and deliver drinks?

- No, but just...

I'm asking you to do...

I'm gonna pay you. I'll give you $20.

I'll give you $20 just for that.

Plus, I'm paying for the drinks.

[all laughing]

Oh...

Oh, no, no, no.

We... we didn't ask for those.

Yeah, I know. They're on him.

- [Eva] Oh, do you know him?

- [woman] No.

Oh, I'll come by.

I'll come by. I'll come by.

- Okay.

- This is because I almost killed you here.

Oh, no, don't worry.

How are you guys?

I've never seen you in this place.

Those are my friends.

- Gentlemen!

- [Eva] Oh...

- [Eva] Hi.

- Introduce yourselves.

Maybe we'll be one big group.

Drinks on me tonight.

- Oh. Okay.

- [Eddie] Absolutely.

Why not? If you're saying it.

- Eddie.

- Hi. Eva.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too.

- Sorry about that.

- No, don't worry.

- Okay.

- [both laughing]

[rock music playing]

All the time! All the time!

[all laughing]

You're talking, it all sounds fair

You promise your love

How much you care

I'm still listening and still unsure

Your actions are lacking

Nothing is clear

No more words

- Okay, so just touch here.

- Okay. Okay.

- It's normal.

- Okay.

- Just touch it.

- Okay.

And then...

- Boom. [laughs]

- Oh, my God!

- What is that?

- No, seriously.

- It's so big, right?

- [both laughing]

You have a sweet spirit. I can tell that.

- And it comes through the music.

- [Berg] Really?

The dance moves that you do

in the musical breaks.

That's what changes things.

I appreciate you saying that,

- 'cause no one tells me that.

- You know...

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