Window Wonderland Page #4

this morning.

Housewares had

frittatas.

Oh, no,

don't tell me that.

I was at the laundromat.

Here, I got brought you

something much better.

Home-cooked.

Meatballs.

Meatballs arrabiata.

Rita, you are

the mother I never had.

Oh, you never had a mother?

No, I had one, she just,

she microwaves a lot,

and she's kind of

far away.

Mm. So good.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

How are you still single?

Well, you don't meet

a lot of eligible men

in the ladies' room.

Well, let's hope not.

How's your window going?

Ah, not too bad.

I'm having a little trouble

with my co-worker.

Romantic trouble?

No.

No, no, no, no.

She's way out of my league.

Hmm.

What makes you think that?

Trust me, I'm not the guy

she's looking for.

Well, this is me.

Thanks again

for the meatballs.

You had me at arrabiata.

Come by the store,

it'll take you

all of 10 minutes.

Well, how would you like

to work all day

with a leaky faucet?

Yes.

I will feed you.

Fine, a pot roast.

And potatoes.

See ya.

Is that Uncle Jimmy?

What gave it away?

Okay, so I know that

it doesn't smell as good

as the plastic tree, but...

Oh, honey, you shouldn't

have.

Now I have to water it.

I'll water it.

You don't have time.

It'll take five seconds.

Plus, it's a living tree, so

we can plant it afterwards.

What's for dinner?

Aunt Doris

brought some tongue.

We're not going to eat

aunt Doris' tongue.

See, saying that makes me

want to gag.

You're right. You cook.

I was in a window all day.

I was in a bathroom all day.

You win.

So...

When am I ever

going to meet Kenneth?

Oh, it is not the right

time.

Why, are you in a fight?

No.

No, we're not in a fight.

We've never even had a

fight.

You haven't

had a fight

because you've never been

honest with him.

Invite him

to Christmas Eve Eve.

He's going skiing.

Why don't you

invite Jake?

He has nowhere to go.

What, are you two bffs now?

It's Christmas,

he's away from his family.

I'm just saying.

I'm saying, don't meddle.

Uncle Jimmy's making

tur-dunkin'.

You mean turducken.

No, "tur-dunkin'."

Turkey fried

in dunkin' donut batter.

Oh, my God.

Two hearts set on fire

two hearts

set on fire

I was a king

of move along

she was the queen

of scared and strong

looking out for no one

but ourselves

I was trying to make a

name in a hopeless town

she was tired of playing

games with the local crowd

surrounded by so many

dreams left on the shelf

two hearts set on fire

like shooting stars

that only we can see

and I'm falling

into the deep end

crashing faster

than we thought it could be

we're two hearts

set on fire

two hearts set on fire

we were holding onto hope

it may be something more

always looking for

another open door

trying to make our way

through life

these city streets

two hearts set on fire

like shooting stars

that only we can see...

Good morning, Mac.

Oh, thanks, honey.

What is Santa's

wife's name?

Mary.

As in "Mary Christmas."

No, Martha.

Try Martha claus.

That could work.

Hey, speaking of

age-appropriate women...

I've got just the girl

for you, Mac.

Okay, run,

and do not look back.

Ah, she's a hottie.

And she makes a killer

meatballs arrabiata.

You probably know her,

she works in the store.

Likes to have a good time,

kind of loud. Rita.

That is not

what he needs.

Who doesn't need

a good time?

No, okay, Mac,

if you're looking

to get back

into the game,

you just let me

find you somebody.

Thank you both very much,

but I have all I need

right here.

I have mcguire's.

All right,

I'm kind of

starting to worry

about you now.

When was the last time

you had female company?

Hey, okay, aren't you getting

a little personal here?

Face it.

Romance is for you young

kids.

Actually, van doren's

not all that young.

I'm the same age as you.

Really?

You seem older.

Oh, okay, well,

when you act 12,

I'm sure everyone

seems older.

Zing.

All right, fine,

I looked.

Thank you, thank you.

Fantastic, isn't it?

This is our recycled window.

You know, we're really

conscious

about keeping everything

green here at mcguire's

and everything

is recycled in it.

The soda cans,

the led light on Rudolph.

And that window

is fantastic, too.

The saying, it's "ho-ho-ho."

Santa says, "ho-ho-ho,"

but we just did it "yo-yo-yo"

'cause of the kids.

They really are into

the whole, "yo!"

All right,

I'll see you later.

Thank you for helping me

Christmas shop.

Of course.

Can I see this one?

You have great taste.

Megan, this is Kenneth...

My pleasure.

My boyfriend.

I'm usually in cosmetics.

Drop by for a sample.

Ooh, I don't

wear cologne.

Allergies.

I have hypo-allergenic.

That's good to know.

You like this one?

It's beautiful.

Try it on.

It's not a ring...

I'm just saying.

Hey, Kenneth,

you should use

her employee discount.

She gets 15% off.

Technically, he can't use

my employee discount,

unless I buy it for you.

You don't mind?

Because that would be

fantastic.

In fact, charge

two of those.

Um, two?

Yeah. For my partners'

wives.

Oh, um...

You gift-wrap, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- Great.

A regular knight

in shining armor.

You're still here?

I work here, remember?

The supermodel-slash-

visual merchandiser?

Look, in case

you're wondering,

I'm buying your present

somewhere else.

Who's going to

sign for that?

Group hug?

In your case,

group therapy.

Later.

How do you

stand him?

It is amazing what a

person can get used to.

Might be time

to have my father

make another

phone call.

What?

Kenneth,

what did you do?

Okay, fine, I may have had

my father mention you

to old man mcguire

at the club, okay?

It's not a big deal.

I'm sure you would have got

this window thing anyway.

Yeah, only now

I will never know.

Does it matter?

You got a window,

that's what's important.

Then why do I feel sick

to my stomach?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I was just trying to help.

I know.

Can we put this

behind us?

I guess.

Okay, great.

I'll see you

tonight, then, okay?

Gift receipt.

And don't be late,

because everyone there

is expecting to meet you.

Bye.

You look nice.

Thank you.

Actually,

you look perfect.

Thank you.

That's, um, that's

a compliment, right?

Well, don't take this

the wrong way,

but why do you need all that

makeup and fake stuff?

Oh, you're saying

I look fake?

No, I'm saying that

you're more of a natural...

A natural...

- What's the expression?

- Natural beauty?

No, that's not it.

Yeah, you're more of

a natural beauty.

So where are you taking

Kenny for dinner tonight?

Ha, ha, ha.

It's his firm's

Christmas party.

Well, don't get stuck

with the check.

Last-minute shopping?

Uh...

You were going to sabotage

my window, weren't you?

No.

Okay, then

what are you doing here?

I'd rather not say.

Hmm, shoplifting?

Vandalism?

Trying on women's clothing?

No, no, and...

That's a thought.

All right, follow me.

Welcome to my humble abode.

You're living here?

Well, if by "living here,"

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