Winter Sleep Page #5

- He was here yesterday, too.

- I begin to smell trouble.

Why not speak to him?

They've come all that way.

What's so frightening?

Nothing. It's not that, my dear.

But he's whiney, annoying,

never finishes a sentence.

But they're here now.

We can't send them away.

All right. Let them in.

Let's see what he's after.

I'll do it your way

to see if I got you right.

Hamdi's coming.

I'll say yes to everything he wants.

- But he has done no evil to you.

- Maybe he will.

We don't know why he's here yet.

But I won't protest.

Evil or good, let's see...

- A knife in his pocket?

- Who knows?

Come in, Hamdi hodja, welcome.

Welcome, Mr Hamdi.

Thank you.

Sorry for disturbing you

during breakfast.

You're not disturbing us at all.

Would you like some breakfast?

Thank you, madam. We're not hungry.

Please have a seat.

Fatma, some tea for our guests.

And cookies for the boy.

The valley is muddy.

I'm sorry, we're covered in mud.

Why were you in the valley?

- Which way did you take?

- We took the shortcut.

I saw two figures over there.

Was that you?

- Probably.

- Really.

You walked all the way from town?

Yes, we did. Why?

It's quite a long way.

Yes, it's far.

It is. Isn't it?

Did you walk the last time too?

I mean yesterday.

Yes.

My goodness.

Why didn't you say so?

Hidayet could have given you

a lift back.

I feel sorry now.

No need to apologise.

It's like exercise for us.

Don't worry.

Aydin, show them a seat...

Fatma, bring my tea over there.

Please have a seat.

You don't even have a moped?

I'll get one when things

start looking up.

- That would be great.

- God willing.

Luckily the house

is next to the mosque.

Five round trips a day

would have been hard.

God bless you.

Is he your son?

- He looks like you.

- No.

He's my nephew.

My brother's son.

I don't have any children.

Struggling to make ends meet,

I couldn't get married.

My fate, I guess.

You will eventually.

You're still young.

But Ilyas is like a son to me.

Of course.

Which class are you in, Ilyas?

Speak up, son, which grade?

Fifth.

Mr Aydin...

I'm off to the industrial zone.

- What for?

- To get the car door fixed.

What's so urgent about it?

Nothing.

But the engine too is making a noise.

- What noise?

- A kind of "zheeee".

Could be the cylinders.

I don't want to ruin the engine.

All right, go.

Mr Aydin, as I said before...

after that incident,

the boy felt terribly sorry.

- Which incident?

- That stone he threw.

That's over and done with.

I mean... the poor boy feels so bad,

he's been all upset

and worried ever since.

Now, Mr Aydin,

apologising is not easy.

As for repentance,

it's a matter of maturity.

But while there's still resentment,

one can't feel truly at peace.

Our Prophet said,

"Repentance is penitence."

If a person convinces you

that they're really sorry,

then we have no choice

except to forgive them.

That's how it is.

And our Ilyas is such a smart

and golden-hearted boy

that young as he is, he listened to me.

He thought about it and agreed.

That's why he wanted to come today

to kiss your hand.

I said, "That would be

the right thing, my boy."

"You'll see, show regret and

Mr Aydin will surely forgive you."

Right?

It's really not necessary.

It doesn't matter at all.

Of course it's necessary.

Otherwise he'll get away

with what he's done.

That's the biggest danger.

Ilyas? Isn't that right, my dear?

I don't like getting my hand kissed.

My father never allowed it either.

We'd struggle to kiss his hand.

Wouldn't we, Necla?

No. He can't find real peace then.

Isn't that so, dear?

Come on now, son,

kiss Mr Aydin's hand.

Ilyas?

Didn't we say we'd go and do this

without telling your dad?

Don't embarrass me

in front of everyone.

Come on, son. Kiss Mr Aydin's hand.

Fine, then.

Ilyas, come on.

Mr Aydin is waiting.

Don't pull, keep it loose.

Pull now.

Let it rest a bit.

Don't get too close.

Oh, it's freezing.

I'm chilled to the bone.

What are you doing?

Not much.

Where's Aydin?

No idea.

Must have gone into town.

He's not in his room?

No, he isn't.

I'll make more coffee.

Want some?

Coffee, I said, want some?

Yes, I'll have one.

I don't know what to do

with the new maid, Nihal.

She put glasses I love

in the dishwasher.

Two got smashed.

I know, she told me.

They're obviously too thin

for the dishwasher. They broke.

I'm thinking of taking it out

of her wages to teach her.

That's a bit much. Forget it.

I'm not exaggerating.

There are things you love and value.

I bought them in Istanbul.

You can't get them anymore.

I know, but they're just glasses.

Maybe you're right. I don't know.

No, maybe you're right.

I'm aware I'm a bit nervy lately.

It's because I worry too much.

Worry about what?

There's so much going around

in my head.

My ex has become a real alcoholic.

- Who? Necdet?

- Yes.

But he always drank a lot, didn't he?

He did indeed, but...

he's been drinking much more

since we separated.

He starts the minute he gets up.

But there's nothing

you can do about that.

I know...

but sometimes...

I can't help thinking

we're worse off after splitting up.

Him over there in that state,

me here miserable.

- Is that what you really think?

- Well...

Maybe I'm just trying to figure out

where I went wrong.

What I did that made us

end up like this.

But if you've still found nothing

years later,

maybe it's not your fault at all.

Don't you agree?

You want me to join the herd

that believes

all badness comes from others?

No, but it still doesn't have to be

"your" mistake.

That's what I'm saying.

Why do you never want

to think like that?

Because I don't see any good in it.

A sensible person should only be

interested in her own share of guilt.

I see no harm in some self-deception

to protect yourself.

But, well...

Where do you think you're wrong?

I don't know but...

I'm just saying it as an example...

If I'd overlooked all the evil stuff

Necdet did to me,

if I hadn't resisted,

if I hadn't divorced him, say.

If I could have made him

face his own evil side.

I don't know.

I wonder what would've happened

if I had acted differently.

You mean, if you hadn't resisted

all the bad things he did,

he would've finally felt ashamed?

Yes.

Yes. Exactly. You put it well.

I know it sounds absurd,

but it isn't, believe me.

Sorry, Necla,

but I find it hard to believe.

People don't change that much

after a certain age.

On the contrary,

all their bad habits get even worse.

So remaining silent

in the face of evil

does nothing but make the other feel

even more justified.

I think he regrets it now, too.

That's why I say this.

I feel it.

If he could find an excuse,

he'd come here right away.

If I were living somewhere else,

he'd definitely do that.

But after all that happened,

he is a bit scared of Aydin now.

But you know

what I sometimes feel like?

Going and asking him

for forgiveness.

Necdet?

Yes.

But you did nothing wrong.

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