Wish Upon A Star

Alex!

Alexia Wheaton!

Let's get a move on!

Man, oh, man.

Chill, you vagrant. I'm coming!

Ben, Nan, later.

We can't let her go out

in public like that, Ben. Alex!

Stop!

Whoa!

What's wrong with you,

besides the obvious?

- We're gonna be late again.

- Oh, pop a Midol.

Who said anything about being late?

I've had it.

I am going to clean out her closet.

And from now on, it's cardigan sweaters

and monogrammed blouses.

And I don't think that it's healthy

that she call me Nan.

It shows a total disregard

for our family hierarchy.

Nan, listen.

Have you noticed that when you insist

that Alex calls you Mom...

the greater pleasure she gets

from calling you Nan?

And when we object

to her provocative clothing...

she just finds something

more provocative to wear the next day.

And when we encourage the girls

to get along...

the more out of hand

their sibling rivalry gets.

What have our patients

been telling us all these years?

That their parents

have ruined their lives.

Exactly. Now...

I think the only way

these girls are gonna get along...

show us some respect

and bring harmony to this household...

is for you and I

to stop interfering.

There'll be no reason for them to rebel

against our rules and demands...

because...

there won't be any.

- Morning, Hayley.

- Hi.

Oh, excellent shirt, Aly. Wow.

That's three days in a row, Hayley.

If it happens again, I'm going

to start deducting from your grade.

It won't.

All right.

Now tomorrow's quiz will require...

slide identification

of the following constellations...

Canis Majorus, Leo...

Taurus...

That rhymes.

Cool shorts, guys.

Doctor's orders.

He said I had to sit out again.

What do you think

they're talking about right now?

Etruscan art.

- How should I know?

- It's your sister.

Sabrina, is that stubble?

I swear, I shaved this morning.

I must have just missed a spot.

So, Alex,

what's the limit on the festival again?

No limit.

Hello, beautiful.

How you doing?

All right. Test scores are in.

Time to face the music.

Mr. Gerard.

You need to make that up with me.

Very nice.

Barely adequate.

But Hayley here. Very nice.

It's nice to see someone coming out

smelling like a rose.

Lose the gum, if you would.

So, any questions

about grades, homework?

Life, in general?

- Mr. Watson?

- Yes, Alexia.

Can I go to the ladies' room, please?

What difference does it make?

Oh, I think it's so admirable

that you attended the police academy.

You see, it's always been a dream

of mine to go into law enforcement.

But my parents, whom, by the way, think

you're a wonderful administrator...

want me to get a degree first,

like you.

I never knew anyone looked to me

as a role model.

Oh, since the ninth grade!

But in order for me

to follow in your path...

I have to start

by getting into Felder first...

and, well,

I was thinking that you...

being a distinguished principal

and all...

might like to write

a recommendation for me.

And what might the recommendation say?

Dear Admissions Committee...

though Alexia Wheaton is in...

the bottom half of her class...

she dresses well.

Oh! So you'll consider it.

Where's the dirt?

She hasn't written in two weeks.

Think she's onto us?

Do you think they do it?

Well, I don't have

any documented evidence, but...

Man, they are so in love.

We better evacuate.

- There you are, Kyle.

- Thanks, Mrs. Wheaton.

And do you have

enough salad there, Caitlin?

Yes, thanks.

You've got to be kidding.

- We have guests.

- I don't mind.

- I don't mind.

- Part of her experiment.

You know, I made the fuel

from an apple you threw away.

It was mealy.

What?

Kyle, would you mind serving me?

My nails are still wet.

Sure.

- Small portions, please.

- Sorry.

Well, everyone. I found it.

- Found what?

- The most outrageous dress...

for Winter Festival.

- And how low is it cut?

- And how much?

It's 200 and something.

As in over $300

with tax for a dress?

Your limit was 200.

I know, but...

what's an extra hundred

over the course of a lifetime?

My children will see me in these photos,

and I want them to think I look nice.

But there must be another nice dress

for a more reasonable price.

But this one sounds so very special.

So, here. Here's the credit card.

Wear it in good health.

Why don't you take Hayley with you...

so that she can pick out a dress

for the Winter Festival too?

- That's a great idea. Can I come?

- Wait.

We're sisters. We're not friends.

And we don't shop together.

- Alex, that's terrible.

- Honey.

I'm not going anyway.

But, Muffin!

This is your first Winter Festival,

and it would be such fun.

And don't you want to be there

to see if your sister gets crowned...

queen?

You probably know

what you want to do.

Stay at home.

Watch the Discovery Channel, huh?

Amen.

- Go ahead.

- Oh, no. It's yours.

Well, here. We'll share it.

There you go.

Canis Majorus.

Canis Majorus.

And Leo.

Arcturus, where are you?

There you are. Okay.

I wish I were Alexia Wheaton.

Man, oh, man! It worked!

What? What worked?

- I...

- You did this?

I made a wish

when I saw a shooting star.

You made a wish to be me?

I didn't think it would work.

I don't like it in here!

Wish us back!

I don't think that's possible, Hayley.

I think it is, Hayley! Do it now!

I can't. It's daytime.

Well, I hate to spoil your fun...

but I have a lot of personal stuff

to deal with today.

And we are not leaving this house

till things are back in order.

I'll handle this.

Me? I'm Alexia.

Alexia Wheaton.

Personally, I like it best...

when my boyfriend Kyle

calls me Aly.

Happy birthday

Happy birthday

Yadda, yadda, yadda

Now reverse the wish.

All right. I wish I were Hayley.

Don't you know

the birthday candle rule?

You have to say the wish to yourself,

otherwise, it can't come true.

On to plan B.

- It's a wishing well.

- Got it.

Would you try it

with a little more "umph"?

I can't do this.

I can't be you.

And you obviously lack

the social grace to be me.

I don't believe this.

I have split ends.

- I have an astronomy test today.

- Don't stress.

I had Frauenfleder

when I was a sophomore. I'll just cheat.

But you can't. Ow!

I mean, I... You...

You can't do that.

When he passes out the test,

just faint or something.

Get sent home sick.

I can make up the test tomorrow.

You can spend the day watching TV

and eating.

Deal. Close your eyes.

No one finds out about this.

Especially Caitlin.

Undoubtedly, she'd leak it

to the National Enquirer.

I don't want any rumors going on

about me the week of the festival.

Ouch! What about Mom and Dad?

They'd have us committed.

So wait. We have a secret?

You and me?

So, is there anything

I need to know about you...

other than being a grungy

social outcast?

I'm not grungy.

I just have my own style.

Dirt under the fingernails is in?

You won't mind if I remove it,

will you?

So, how do I look?

Today is definitely day one.

- Day one of what?

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