Witchcraft 15: Blood Rose Page #2

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Hey, Lutz, relax.

Hey, I got a great joke.

Have you heard of the serial prostitute?

They don't snap, crackle, pop.

They just lay there and bang.

Sh*t, I crack myself up.

Little mama, we've got

one of our regulars.

Damn it, Eden.

Don't make me have to go

in there and bust you.

Get on top.

You like that?

Don't you stop.

That's what you pay me for.

Who said I was paying you?

What?

Slap me.

Yeah!

F*** me!

Sharon, no!

It's Eden, dummy!

Hell's brought you to Eden.

You will serve the house of Aradia.

You are a vessel.

You are a conduit.

Death shall be your offering.

My god.

I'm getting outta here.

Break it up, y'all two.

I thought I told you if

I was gonna catch you

on the job again, I was gonna take you in.

Three strikes, you're out, young lady.

What the hell's going on here?

I didn't do this.

This is not me.

I did not do this.

Hands up where I can see 'em.

Is anyone else in here?

Answer me, is anyone else in here?

No, I'm by myself.

Start talking.

We were making love,

and then blood came all over his face.

And he started talking

crazy and jumping around.

And I don't know what

happened, but I didn't do this.

So you're telling

me you didn't off him.

I just said I didn't do it.

I f***ed this guy for

money, and that's it.

I did not kill him.

Put your

hands behind your back.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

My god, can I at

least get dressed first?

Yeah, go ahead.

My god.

Aradia be praised.

Tara, can you come in here, sweetheart?

What happened in here?

We had a super intense training session.

Poor thing's wiped out.

Could you help Rose up

and take her back home?

Absolutely.

Hey, girl.

What happened?

Let's get you home, okay?

It's done.

Aradia be praised.

You were conceived in darkness,

a child of three monsters,

of earthly loins to serve a higher plane.

This is your destiny.

Open yourself to it.

Open yourself.

Hey, lazy.

Those spells aren't gonna cast themselves.

Better get out of bed.

Hilarious.

Thanks.

So what happened in there?

I don't really know.

She said she wanted to

guide me from the inside.

Guide you from the inside?

Sounds pretty lesbotronic to me.

Yeah.

I don't really remember much after that.

We sat down, and it felt like

someone was slipping into my mind,

like Sharon was wearing me or

something, then I blacked out.

Sounds really weird.

We've been working on some

mind control stuff lately

but nothing that intense.

The only thing I remember

is that there was a man

and a girl, and he started

bleeding from his eyes and mouth.

And it felt like I was killing him.

To be fair, you've done it before.

Yeah, but I have that under control now.

There's no way I'd just

kill someone like that.

I don't know.

Maybe it was just a dream.

Maybe.

Although I did have a weird vision.

I think I saw myself being conceived.

Like your parents having sex?

I know!

But the thing is they didn't

look like my parents at all.

Can I tell you how much I love living

in our little witchy sorority together?

Well, actually, it's my house, so.

And how much I just

love my witch sisters.

What do you want, Danielle?

Why do I have to want anything?

Can't I just love my witch

sisters unconditionally?

You know we've met you, right?

Fine.

I need you guys to clear out later.

My boyfriend's coming over.

Clear out of my own house again?

Yes.

Not gonna happen.

But he gets weirded

out when you're here.

He can't get it up when

he knows someone else

is in the house.

Girl, go to his house.

I can't.

He has roommates and he shares a room

with one of them, and it's gross.

This sounds like a problem

with a very simple solution.

You leaving?

No, you leaving to his house.

But I'll pay you.

No.

I hate it here.

Why does Sharon make me live

with you two fun killers?

You can always go back to the YWCA.

Shut up!

Okay, one more time

because I love a good bullshit story.

My god, I am no bulshitting you.

I got a call from my agency

for a date at that hotel,

some guy named Jamal.

He paid for the room.

He wanted sex with a

little bit of rough stuff.

He's in the middle of strangling

me, and he started bleeding

all over the place and turned

into Linda f***ing Blair.

And?

And that's it.

And then your boyfriend here

came in and arrested me.

And here we all are, happily ever other,

and can I please f***ing go now.

The chances of you

walking out of here tonight

are approximately zero.

You're gonna be charged with

murder unless you can come up

with a better story, and I

know you can't afford bail.

My god.

I booked a gig on It's

Always Sunny for next week.

Why in the world would I kill some rando

just as my career is taking off?

That's a great question,

and I look forward to hearing your answer.

Let's go.

I'm gonna take you into booking.

Have fun.

You guys are worse than my manager.

Jesus.

Hardly!

Sh*t!

Damn it, Spanner!

Don't sneak up on me like that.

You're lucky my gun wasn't unholstered.

And why is that?

Because you'd be dead by now.

I tried that once.

It just isn't my style.

God, I hate a warlock

with a sense of humor.

I heard you got a problem

and you needed my expertise.

Good news travels fast, I see.

Yes.

Take a look at these.

Died underneath a prostitute.

Not a bad way to go if

you don't count the part

where he bled out through his eyeballs.

Looks like a

dark forces kill to me.

Kind of a showy way to off someone.

I mean high traffic area,

and it's not exactly a secret

that cops bust hookers

there a dozen times a day.

My guess is that they

wanted the body discovered.

Do you think somebody's

trying to send a signal?

Absolutely.

Well, well, well,

if it's not mister sunshine and rainbows.

Detective.

How are your spider senses

now with your dead dear John?

My guess is that he committed

a heretical act against the coven.

Heretical act as in?

As in he really pissed them off.

And as we begin to align ourselves,

stacking our chakras from crown to root,

we begin to align

ourselves with white magic,

and the earth,

and Aradia.

And then we can truly become

a pure vessel for power and influence.

Now let's put our palms together

and bow.

Into the light and out of the darkness.

Into the light

and out of the darkness.

All right, great work today, guys.

Great things are on the horizon.

Now remember to keep on

practicing in between classes.

And I will see you all

again next Thursday.

Make sure to check with Tara

with all of your schedules, all right?

Sharon, we have company.

Will Spanner, I presume.

Nice to see you again.

Are you interested in our special?

10 classes for the price of eight.

My back would never forgive me.

There's something I need

to talk to you about.

It's very important.

Tara, can you give us a minute?

Sure.

What is it now, Will Spanner?

Did the LAPD send you over

here to harass my school?

What do you think about this?

My god.

That's gruesome.

It is.

If you're implying that I

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