Witness Protection Page #3

Hey, how about Cooper?

That would be easy to spell.

Collins?

Banks?

Not banks.

I'll think of robbing one.

( BOTH CHUCKLE )

Smith or Johnson?

No, they sound like aliases.

O'Brien.

Come here.

- There's no cameras out here.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- How do you know?

( LAUGHING )

I've been here before.

Oh really?

Who with? Al Capone?

It's not so bad, is it?

Kind of pretty.

( SUZIE CRYING )

What is it, honey?

What is it? Are you okay?

The bad man.

Oh, I got you.

The bad man's gone.

The bad man's gone.

It's okay.

Daddy's here.

Cooper... something easy.

You know, not some Hungarian name

that none of us can spell.

So we would be the Coopers and...

Look at your face.

- And that would make you who?

- Suzie Cooper.

- Good job.

- Right on, honey.

Sean Cooper.

Beautiful.

Has a nice ring to it.

Okay?

So we're the Coopers?

The Cooper family?

And dad's name is William.

We're gonna call him Bill.

Can I still call him daddy?

( LAUGHS )

And I'll be called Joan.

( LAUGHING )

You're kidding, right?

No. No, I like that name.

Joan, like Joan of arc.

I used to love her when I was a kid.

Yeah, because she was nuts.

She heard voices

talking in her brain.

Maybe. No.

It's good to hear you laugh again.

Yeah... no, everything's great.

She gets to start off from scratch with Suzie Cooper.

What about me?

Steve said that he's gonna transfer your grades under your new name.

Just my grades?

None of my extracurricular activities are gonna be counted, right?

Like editor of the school newspaper,

like student government, like debate club.

- Look...

- Sean.

Sean, come on.

I know this is tough,

but you're gonna do well at your new school.

You will.

You will. You always have.

You'll do it again.

They don't even have anything close

to the level of the Latin school in Seattle.

Seattle, Seattle.

Seattle is retarded.

You know that one third of Latin school graduates...

one third get scholarships to Harvard...

one third.

Now I'm gonna graduate from some crap

Public Seattle High school.

And none of my teachers can write college recommendations for me.

Not for Sean Cooper.

Who is Sean Cooper?

Sean Cooper is nobody.

( DOOR SLAMS )

Joan.

Steve:
Cooper,

C-O-O-P-E-R,

William and Joan.

J-O-A-N.

Right, yeah.

And Susan and Sean.

No, S-E-A-N.

Put a rush on that, please.

Why is it that every time I call your state, I get the runaround?

Thanks.

I need the birth certificate to originate there.

And I need it now.

Thank you.

You ever had a guy who just rubs you the wrong way?

Every freaking day, champ.

- ( PHONE RINGS )

- Incoming. Ramirez.

I swear to god, this guy

is gonna set up a racket in two weeks' time.

- Yeah.

- Hey, let the field agents deal with it.

You know what?

Just process him and forget about it.

You know, maybe this guy could fail his psych eval.

( LAUGHING )

Yeah, like Joey Grasso.

The guy had how many heads?

What, he butchered, like, 20?

Yeah, no problem.

He's mentally stable.

Let's get him a job selling chairs at Kmart.

If I wanted to be dead, would I be here?

No, I'm too busy to get depressed, Doc,

too busy making money.

How's your relationship to your father?

What relationship?

The last time I saw him was at my mother's funeral.

Look, I grew up in a tough neighborhood.

Some guys became priests, some cops

- like you, Stan.

- Steve.

Steve. Whatever.

The rest went into the business.

But it had nothing to do with my parents.

Steve:
Why do they call you Bobby Bats?

That's my name... Batton,

Bats.

Nothing to do with baseball bats?

Sports was never my forte.

I meant on people.

No, that's all right.

I want to be honest.

That's what this is all about, right?

When I was younger, maybe I was a little wild, you know.

Maybe a few people thought I was a little Bats,

But that was a long time ago.

I mean,

I'm a family man now.

I mean, really.

I'm in love with my wife.

I love my children.

Everybody's happy.

I mean, I'm very happy.

I'm very positive.

in a weird way,

I think this is

the best thing to happen for us...

kind of forcing Bobby to go legit.

Don't tell him I said that.

This is confidential, right?

Look, I'm fine.

It's Suzie that needs the counseling.

This isn't counseling.

It's simply an evaluation

to anticipate any adjustment problems.

Suzie doesn't have to be screened.

Adjustment to moving to the new city?

It's more like this, Joan:

Can you...

can you love a guy named Bill Cooper

who works the late shift at Bob's big boy

just as much as you loved Bobby Bats

who wears Armani suits and gets out of Cadillacs?

I'll always love Bobby.

Money doesn't matter.

I see you like getting your nails done.

They're very nice.

Yes, I do.

I enjoy it.

It relaxes me.

What if, with the economics,

you can't get any manicures anymore?

You know, you can be very rude, officer.

You think I'm pampered?

We have money.

We have money because we've earned it.

We've worked very hard for it.

But I would take the safety of my kids over money any day...

any day of the freaking week.

And I'll clue you in on something else, Mr. Marshal.

Bobby is not sweeping floors at Bob's big boy.

The government will sell your house,

two Cadillacs,

all the furniture and the household items

for market value or best price.

They'll liquidate your assets

and they'll deliver the balance to you

once you've settled in Seattle.

But due to what's owed on the second mortgage...

We don't have a second mortgage.

Due to what's owed on the second mortgage,

the revolving credit line,

the credit card debt of $80,000,

When all is said and done, the U.S. Attorney's Office

estimates your net worth to be at a $7,000 deficit.

What?

What... what credit line?

Who came up with this report?

If after the sale of your assets,

a small debt remains

the U.S. Attorney's Office

will pay the debt

so that you can start out even.

Is this a joke?

Is the government trying to pull something?

We have stocks.

We have mutual funds.

This is ridiculous.

Tell him.

So what's our balance?

Zero.

Cindy:
Where did it go?

( CINDY AND BOBBY ARGUING )

I know, I know, I know.

It was stupid of me.

I cashed out the investments and I put them into deals with Theo...

- legit stuff, but it's all tied up to the club.

- Daddy.

Theo had financial incentive to come after me as well.

Can't the justice department do something?

- They can't get any of it back. It's gone.

- Daddy.

- What are we gonna do?

- Listen.

I can't believe you didn't let me know what was going on.

You want the pressure? Fine.

I thought I'd protect you from this.

- This is protecting me?

- Daddy.

What?

What, Suzie?

Mommy and daddy are having a serious discussion.

Don't yell at her.

I didn't yell at her.

Don't yell at her.

Look at the picture.

She's five.

Look at the picture.

I didn't yell at her.

I'm just...

Okay. What? A picture?

It's great, honey, okay?

Now listen...

Oh, come on.

Look what you've done.

Oh baby.

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