Wolf Creek 2 Page #3

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Does that sound all right to you?

That's... That sounds

f***ing brilliant.

Really?

Sorry. I didn't get

your name, mate.

Ah. Mick Taylor's the name.

Pig-shooter and general

f***in' Outback legend.

Right. Cheers.

- You ready to rock 'n' roll?

- Yeah.

What's that for, Mick?

Oh, I forgot to mention.

For each one that you get wrong,

I get to grind off a finger.

So, 10 questions, 10 fingers. Kind

of fitting, you know what I mean?

Of course.

So it's sort of like Who

Wants To Be a Millionaire?

Yeah!

Except you don't get to phone

a friend if you get one wrong

because you'll be too busy

screaming in f***ing agony.

All right.

Let's rock 'n' roll then.

All right. We'll start

off with an easy one.

What Aboriginal term

meaning "waterhole"

is also the name of an Australian

surf clothing company?

Billabong.

Very good.

- Next one's a bit harder.

- Right.

But you're a stinkin' Pom,

so you'll be all right.

In what year did the British

settle in Australia?

Oh, um...

After Lieutenant James Cook

discovered the east coast

and mapped it in 1770,

the First Fleet arrived

and settled on

26th of January, 1788.

Does that answer your question?

Jesus! You are a smart c*nt.

I might have to let you

go on that answer alone.

Where'd you learn all that sh*t?

I'm majoring in history.

Majoring in history? That's a

f***ing coincidence, isn't it, eh?

But I am a man of my word,

and either way, you know,

I did say 10...

Here we go.

Okay.

Mmm.

Rightio.

In what year did the British start

deporting convicts to Australia?

The first 11 ships of the First

Fleet arrived with their cargo

of around 780 British convicts

in Botany Bay, New South Wales.

And a further two convict fleets

arrived in 1790 and 1791.

The first free settlers

arrived in 1793.

Mick?

Mick?

That's right. Isn't it?

I know it is.

Why?

Um...

I'm not really sure I

understand the question.

Why did the British deport

convicts to Australia?

Why? Um...

Uh...

Come on, you dumb f***.

Time waits for no man.

- No, no, no!

- Tick, took, tick, took, tick...

First, first... First of all,

after the British

lost the 13 colonies

they'd lost their penal settlements

in Virginia, in the United States.

And they needed somewhere

to put all the criminals

that were stacking up in England.

There were... There were just

too many of these people,

and they were just spreading

disease and wasting resources.

And, second of all, they...

And just, Australia looked

to be as rich in resources

as the Americas.

And obviously the British wanted to

settle this before the French did.

Or the Dutch.

Something like that?

Mick, no. What the f***,

man? That's right!

What are you doing? Mick! F***!

That's the right f***ing answer!

What do you want me to f***ing...

F***! Mick, that's right!

F***! That's the right

f***ing answer, Mick!

Mick! Jesus Christ! No!

I got two. Come on!

You don't need to f***ing do this!

I got them all right.

It's the right f***ing answer!

It was f***ing right!

- No, it wasn't.

- Yes, it was the right f***ing...

No, it wasn't.

The right answer is

because they are a

pack of Pommy c*nts.

No, seriously, you're right,

you know, technically.

And that gives me the shits.

Come on. Calm down. Calm down.

Jesus Christ, you're going

on like a big girl.

It f***ing hurt.

Knock those tears off. Knock

'em off, you bloody suck.

- You all right?

- Yeah.

Jesus H. Christ, boy.

You all right? You all right?

Yeah.

Right? All right?

All right.

Just one more quick one. An easy one

and then I'll get us another drink.

And you can be on your way. Eh?

You're doing real well, mate.

You're doing real well.

Cheers.

Now, who's Australia's

most famous cricketer?

And not Shane f***ing Warne.

Come on.

Come on.

I don't know anything

about f***ing cricket.

Can you ask me a football question?

You don't have to know about

cricket to know who this bloke is.

Just give me a clue.

Well, he's the greatest

cricketer of all time.

The Muhammad Ali of

f***ing cricket!

Oh, sh*t. Come on, Paul.

It's on the tip of

my f***ing tongue!

Yeah, well, look. This will be on the

tip of your bloody tongue in a minute!

What kind of a bloody

idiot you take me for?

What letter does it

f***ing start with?

"D."

D... D... D...

- Douglas Jardine.

- F***ing Pommy, you idiot.

Dennis... Dennis Lillee.

Not f***ing Dennis Lillee.

- It's Dennis f***ing Lillee.

- It's not Dennis Lillee.

A famous cricketer

that starts with "D."

It's not f***ing

Dennis f***ing Lillee.

What the f*** is it

then if it's not...

F*** this! F*** you!

No, no, no! Please! Please!

Jesus Christ, the other hand!

- Eh?

- Use the f***ing other hand, Mick!

Is that your wanking hand, is it?

Please yourself.

Mick, it's Dennis f***ing Lillee!

Dennis f***ing Lillee! Please!

Please! Please! Mick! Mick! Mick!

It's Dennis Lillee...

Give me that f***ing hand

or I'll knock your f***ing teeth

right down your f***ing throat.

You understand me? Eh? Eh?

Oh, f***! Oh, f***!

Oh, no!

Please.

Just let me out of here.

Of course I am going to let

you out of there, mate.

You've been a real good sport.

But first I'm going to grab

us another drink. All right?

You're going to let me go now?

Yeah, of course I will.

Yeah, I'm going to

let you out of here

and then I'm going to

take you somewhere else.

- Down there.

- No!

'Cause you see, no one

really gets out of here.

Well, not in one piece, you know.

Figuratively speaking.

That would just be crazy.

What the f*** is this?

You said you were a

man of your word.

I am. I am, mate.

As I said, you owe me, boy.

You took away my plaything.

And so, you're just going to

have to stand in for a bit.

Okey dokey?

No. You're some

f***ing f*ggot freak.

You...

Don't you ever f***ing say that!

Don't you ever say that!

Hey!

This will turn you into a woman.

I didn't mean it like that.

Hey, Mick.

It's Don Bradman, b*tch.

You'll have to do better than that,

you Pommy c*nt!

Oi! That really bloody hurt!

I think you cracked me skull!

I got claret coming out of me

bloody skull, all over the place!

There's blood everywhere!

I hope you're happy

with yourself, mate!

Yeah, I reckon by now you ought

to have found the dead end.

People have been dying

to get out of here.

F***!

Oh, Danny boy

The pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen

And down the mountain side

The summer's gone and

all the flowers are dying

You've got to be f***ing joking.

Here comes Uncle Mick!

Make it stop! Please!

Please, don't leave me!

I'll come back! I'll come back!

Please!

Help me!

Now, about all them bodies.

They deserved it.

All of 'em.

Foreign bastards!

Noxious, bloody weak.

Somebody's gotta keep

Australia beautiful!

F***!

We're having such a good time.

Singing, and drinking,

and carrying on.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport

Tie me kangaroo down

Tie me...

Ah, f*** ya!

Come on! Come on!

Get out of here! Get him! Go on,

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