Wolverine vs. Gladiator in: Les Miserables Page #4

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Now take that pail

My little mademoiselle

And go and draw

some water from the well

We should never

have taken you in

in the first place

How stupid

the things that we do!

Like mother, like daughter,

the scum of the street

Mama!

(SINGING)

Eponine, come, my dear

Eponine, let me see you

You look very well in

that little blue hat

Oh.

There's some little girls

who know how to behave

And they know what to wear

And I'm saying

thank heaven for that!

Still there, Cosette?

Your tears will

do you no good!

I told you, fetch some water

from the well in the wood

Please do not

send me out alone

Not in the darkness on my own

Now shut your face or

I'll forget to be nice!

You heard me ask for something

And I never ask twice

Wakey-wakey, we're opening.

I love you.

I love you so much.

(SINGING)

My band of soaks

My den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes

Ugh!

My always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

No, no, no.

Not tonight.

(SINGING)

Spend their lives in my inn

Wakey-wakey.

Good boy, good boy,

good boy.

(SINGING)

Homing pigeons homing in

They fly through my doors

And they crawl out

on all fours

Daddy, here.

Thank you, darling.

Such a gentleman.

(SINGING) Welcome, monsieur,

sit yourself down

And meet the best

innkeeper in town

As for the rest

All of them crooks

Rooking the guests

And cooking the books

Seldom do you see

Honest men like me

A gent of good intent

who's content to be

Master of the house

Doling out the charm

Ready with a handshake

and an open palm

Tells a saucy tale

Makes a little stir

Customers appreciate

a bon viveur

Glad to do a friend a favor

Doesn 't cost me to be nice

But nothing gets you nothing

Everything has

got a little price

Master of the house

Keeper of the zoo

Ready to relieve them

of a sou or two

Watering the wine

Making up the weight

Picking up their knick-knacks

When they can 't see straight

Everybody loves a landlord

Everybody's bosom friend

I do whatever pleases

Jesus! Won 't I bleed 'em

in the end!

ALL:
Master of the house!

Quick to catch your eye

Never wants a passerby

to pass him by!

Servant to the poor

Butler to the great

Comforter, philosopher

and lifelong mate

Everybody's boon companion

Everybody's chaperone

But lock up your valises

Jesus! Won't I

skin you to the bone!

Food beyond compare

Food beyond belief

Mix it in a mincer

And pretend it's beef

Kidney of a horse

Liver of a cat

(MEOWS)

Filling up the sausages

with this and that

Residents are

more than welcome

Bridal suite is occupied

Reasonable charges

Plus some little

extras on the side

Oh, Santa!

Charge 'em for the lice

Extra for the mice

Two percent for

looking in the mirror twice

Hand it over!

Here a little slice,

there a little cut

Three percent for sleeping

with the windows shut

When it comes

to fixing prices

There are a lot

of tricks I knows

How it all increases

All those bits and pieces

Jesus!

It's amazing how it grows

(LAUGHING)

Sorry, love.

I must get

something done about that.

(SINGING)

I used to dream

that I would meet a prince

But, God almighty

Have you seen

what's happened since?

What? What?

"Master of the house"

isn't worth my spit!

Comforter, philosopher

and lifelong sh*t!

Cunning little brain

Regular Voltaire

Thinks he's quite a lover

but there's not much there

What a cruel trick of nature

Landed me with such a louse

God knows how I've lasted

living with this

bastard in the house

ALL:
Master of the house!

Master and a half!

ALL:
Comforter, philosopher

Don't make me laugh

ALL:
Servant to the poor

Butler to the great

Hypocrite and

toady and inebriate!

ALL:
Everybody

bless the landlord!

Everybody

bless his spouse!

Everybody raise a glass!

(ALL CHEER)

Raise it up

the master's arse!

(ALL CHEER)

ALL:
Everybody raise a glass

to the master of the house

I love you, too.

(LAUGHING)

(SINGING) Everybody

bless the landlord

(DONKEY BRAYS)

(COSETTE SINGING)

(GASPS)

(SINGING) Hush now

Do not be afraid of me

Don't hide

Show me where you live

Tell me, my child,

what is your name?

I'm called Cosette

(GASPS)

Mademoiselle.

Can I help you

with your bucket?

Whoa!

(SINGING) I found her

wandering in the wood

This little child,

I found her

trembling in the shadows

And I am here

to help Cosette

I will settle any debt

you may think proper

I will pay what I must pay

To take Cosette away

I love you.

(SINGING)

This is a duty I must heed

(MOUTHING)

And there is

a promise I have made

For I was blind

to one in need

I did not see

what stood before me

Now your mother is with God

(GASPS)

Her suffering is over

And I speak here

with her voice

And I stand here in her place

Come on.

And from this day,

and evermore

Let me take

your coat, monsieur

Cosette shall live

in my protection

You are very welcome here

I will not forget my vow

Take a drink

Take a chair

Cosette shall

have a father now

What to do?

What to say?

Shall you carry

our treasure away?

What a gem!

What a pearl!

Beyond rubies is

our little girl

How can we

talk of debt?

Let's not haggle

for darling Colette

Cosette.

Cosette

Dear Fantine,

gone to rest

Have we done for her

child what is best?

I think so.

Shared our bread,

shared each bone

Treated her like

she's one of our own

Yes, our own.

Like our own,

monsieur!

The cost adds up.

Your feelings do

you credit, sir

And I will ease

the parting blow

Let us not talk of bargains

and bones and greed

Now may I say we are agreed?

That would

quite fit the bill

If she hadn't

so often been ill

Little dear, cost us dear

Medicines are expensive,

monsieur

(BOTH COUGHING)

Not that we begrudged a sou

It's no more than

we Christians must do

Than we Christians may do

No more words!

Here's your price

Fifteen hundred

for your sacrifice

Come, Cosette,

say goodbye

Let us seek out

some friendlier sky

Thank you, both, for Cosette

It won 't take you

too long to forget

Farewell, Courgette!

It's "Cosette."

Cosette.

And, open.

It's for you.

(SINGING)

Where I go, you will be

Will you be

like a papa to me?

Yes, Cosette

This is true

I'll be father

and mother to you

(GRUNTS)

Not bad.

Not enough!

There's a copper at the door

What the devil have you done?

Where's the child Cosette?

(SINGING)

She's gone with a gent

Didn't tell us

where they went

Didn't leave

his home address

You're a bloody fool

Look at what we got

Should've struck the iron

Struck it while it's hot!

Next time round, I promise

I'm gonna get the lot

Okay?

(SINGING)

Suddenly you're here

Suddenly it starts

Can two anxious hearts

beat as one?

Yesterday I was alone

Today you are beside me

Something still unclear

Something not yet here

has begun

Suddenly the world

seems a different place

Somehow full of grace

Full of light

How was I to know

that so much hope

Was held inside me?

What is passed is gone

Now we journey on

through the night

How was I to know at last

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