Woman Times Seven Page #3

twitchin' when I jumped on her.

I kissed her.

I kissed her a hundred times.

I drove her out of her mind

with kisses!

But I wrapped myself

around her like a python!

I cracked every bone in her body!

I bit her here!

Forgive me, Linda.

I adored her.

I feasted on her!

I devoured her!

I drank her! I scratched her!

I ripped her!

I hit her! I insulted her!

I exalted her! I thrilled her!

I manhandled her!

I tied her in knots!

I played arpeggios on her!

And other things

I can't even start to talk about!

I came to say good night, Rik.

Good night.

Is there anything I can get for you?

No, thanks, dear.

Wait a minute.

Listen to this.

"Set aglow by the wind...

"Simone radiates a wild vitality.

"He says, Don't move.

"Stay as you are

through all eternity.

"Simone, on a sudden,

unpredictable caprice...

"does a front flip...

"and disappears

among the buttercups...

"her hair flying in the wind. "

But...

What?

Didn't she have braids yesterday?

Yesterday. That was yesterday.

You must realize by now

that Simone is a fantastic woman.

When she should laugh, she cries.

When she should cry, she laughs.

This woman is everything.

Cynical.

Cruel.

Bitter.

One moment, dancing gaily

on a mountaintop...

and the next moment,

plunged into the depths of despair.

You all right, darling?

Yes, I'm all right. Go on.

You see, by chapter eleven,

Ivan has become dirt under her feet.

She dances all over him...

like a harem girl

on a leopard skin rug.

"Simone, whose moods change

as frequently as an April sky. "

Dressed all in white,

she is virgin, pure, superior...

flitting from place to place...

insubstantial as thistle down...

intangible as a summer's breeze.

Then suddenly sparkling like the snow.

In green, jealous, a sorceress...

full of artifice and cunning,

sadistic...

capable of incredible meanness

and cruelty.

A Bengal tiger, forever on the prowl.

But in blue.

Ah, in blue.

A challenge to every male...

insistent, irresistible, and forever

laughing, laughing.

The wonderful thing about Simone

is that she's always new...

always original...

always exciting...

always everything!

Edith!

I read your husband's story

this week.

It's fantastic!

He's absolutely genius.

Thank you.

Where does he find

all these extraordinary women?

They are so crazy,

so unexpected.

You know,

my husband, last month...

he went wild over

that cute little nympho.

You remember?

The one who came into

the living room and yelled...

- What did he call her?

- Lulu.

Lulu, that's it.

Where does he find these women?

Who are they?

I don't know, but they're not me.

That's for certain.

No, of course not.

I was talking about that

with the girls.

No, you're so good,

so thrifty, so sensitive.

Well, tell your husband

we just love him...

and give him a big kiss for me.

If you are not jealous, of course.

Course not.

Bye.

Madame, I want a raise.

I can't go on like this.

I have to do everything 'round here.

Just the coffee alone...

sometimes I make as many

as twenty pots a day.

And those dogs of his,

can they eat.

If I go, you're gonna be

all on your own.

And the way things are today,

you'll never get anybody else like me.

You'll have to do it

all by yourself...

and I don't know how you'll manage.

You're such a little thing.

Madame, I'm serious!

These things are important!

Why should we only laugh

at the unimportant, trivial things?

Not me.

I laugh when things get serious.

I laugh when they're important.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna make the last chapter

one long kiss.

The whole chapter...

a thirty-page kiss.

- The whole...?

- Mm-hmm.

He kisses her

here, here, here, and here...

brushes her with his lips.

He bites her.

He licks her with his tongue.

And the whole time,

he's crying, see?

All the time he's kissing her,

he's crying...

with joy.

It's a great idea, that.

Kissing and crying at the same time.

Hey, look. Look at that girl.

Her thighs are exactly

what I imagine for Simone.

Now watch.

Watch how she moves.

I must go to Normandy.

That's the setting I need.

All those rocks along the coast, and...

and the dolphin and the albatross.

Albatross in Normandy?

Of course.

Well, maybe not.

But the point is, that's where you find...

all those beautiful,

wonderful girls...

like Simone.

You see, one minute

you're talking to her...

and then the next minute,

she turns around...

and dives 150 feet

into the ocean below...

and disappears over the horizon

towards America...

towards adventure and love.

Towards the still uncharted frontiers

of the busy New World.

Towards

a sensual reconquest of life.

That's beautiful.

Can we talk a little bit, Rik?

Of course, darling.

What about?

Whatever you'd like.

Sure.

Why not?

You like them?

Are you smoking, Edith?

Yes, I...

I wanted to begin today.

Exactly a year from the day

we were married.

Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry.

I forgot.

Of course,

we'll have a celebration.

What would you like? Ice cream?

I want champagne!

To you, darling.

To your success...

and to the success of Simone.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

What time is it, dear?

Eight o'clock!

I've gotta get down to work.

New ideas, new ideas.

Lots of them.

I had one last night.

Simone comes to visit

some of her friends...

and they're

at the dining room table.

She rides into the dining room

on horseback...

and you know how?

Nude.

Get me a cup of coffee, dear.

Do you want your eggs poached

or fried?

No eggs, just toast.

Just a piece of toast, yes,

just a piece of toast, yes

Butter and/or jam?

No jam.

Why are you singing

instead of talking?

I love to sing, I love to sing

It may go on all day

Marianne, Marianne

Coffee and buttered toast

for my husband

Right away, right away

Right away.

Thank you, thank you

Who is it?

It's me.

Are you ready for dinner, darling?

Yes, let's eat.

Are you hungry?

Famished.

We feeling okay?

Fabulous.

By the way, I'm gonna pay

a little visit to the doctor tomorrow.

Why? Are you sick?

No. It's just a good time to go.

You see, I finished Simone

out there on the stairs.

How does it end?

Oh, she flies away.

She flies?

She flies. How stupendous.

Say, why don't you come along?

We're waiting.

The master's waiting.

Say, that's a great idea.

You come along

and keep me company...

and then,

since you're already there...

he can take

a little peek at you, too.

After all, we have to keep ourselves

in the pink, don't we?

Do you know how many

different kinds of germs there are?

Billions!

Come with me, huh?

Me?

Darling, I'm not afraid of germs.

I like to live dangerously.

You admire that, don't you?

Yes, of course.

Who the hell is that?

Are you surprised?

I know it's crazy,

but just for one night.

You're not angry, are you?

No, of course not.

It's a very funny idea...

for one night.

And then tomorrow,

we'll trade him in for a Filipino.

Well, just this morning,

she showed up with a knife that big.

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