Wonder Boys Page #2

GRADY:

I don't know. I'm sort of at a critical. . .

juncture .

CRABTREE:

I thought you were tinkering.

GRADY:

I just mean. . .

CRABTREE:

Forget I asked. I don't want to pressure you,

Tripp. But...

(pointedly)

...I get pressure. Know what I mean?

GRADY ponders this, troubled by it. Suddenly, Crabtree's

face brightens again.

CRABTREE:

Ah. ..well now. What do you suppose that would

be?

GRADY turns, watches an immense PONY HIDE CASE drop onto

the carousel.

GRADY:

That would be a tuba.

8INT. GRADY'S CAR - MOVING - LATE AFTERNOON 8

As the Galaxie emerges from a TUNNEL, GRADY watches the

great city of Pittsburgh reveal itself in the distance,

then glances in the rearview mirror.

GRADY:

That perfume you're wearing, Antonia. It

wouldn't happen to be Cristaile, would it?

MISS SLOVIAK:

Why yes. How did you know?

GRADY:

Lucky guess.

CRABTREE:

You didn't actually purchase this car, did

you. Trip??

GRADY:

It was Jerry Nathan's. He owed me money.

CRABTREE:

He owes God money. You know, he queered

himself for good with Esquire.

GRADY takes a joint from the ashtray, snaps a Scripto

butane.

GRADY:

He said something about being between things.

CRABTREE:

Yeah, between a bookie and a pair of broken

legs.

9EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER

A YOUNG WOMAN with a crumpled PITTSBURGH STEEIERS

UMBRELLA exits the building and-seeing GRADY parked in

front of a fire hydrant--stops, a puzzled expression on her

face. As she approaches, GRADY roils down the passenger

window.

GRADY:

Hi, Tanya.

(to the others)

This is Tanya. My wife's secretary.

CRABTREE and MISS SLOVIAK smile and nod. Tanya smiles and

nods back, her eyes passing uneasily over Grady's joint.

TANYA:

Grady.. ..Emily's not here.

GRADY just smiles, nods.

TANYA (cont'd)

Is there anything I can do for you?

GRADY watches a tiny stream of water trickle through

Tanya's sad umbrella.

GRADY:

You're leaking, Tanya.

Tanya nods--at a loss-then turns away into the rain.

CRABTREE:

Trip? ?

GRADY:

She left me. Crabs.

CRABTREE:

Left you...? Who? Emily?

GRADY:

This morning. I found a note in the kitchen.

CRABTREE:

But. ..why didn't you say something, Tripp? I

mean, what are we doing here?

GRADY gazes at the glittering scene beyond his

windshield, turns on the ignition.

GRADY:

I thought maybe I made it all up.

10EXT. GASKELL HOUSE - EVENING

Through the windows, a rabble of writers, faculty and

select students can be SEEN, mingling under a haze of

cigarette smoke. GRADY brings the Galaxie to a lurching

halt across the street, parks in front of another fire

hydrant. As the trio steps out. MISS SLOVIAK notices a

GREENHOUSE, shimmering quietly in the chill night air.

MISS SLOVIAK:

That's a nice greenhouse.

GRADY:

It's Mrs. Gaskell's. Her hobby.

CRABTREE:

I thought you were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby,

Tripp.

GRADY:

Piss off, Crabs. I lost a wife today.

CRABTREE:

Oh, I'm sure you'll find another. You always

do.

11EXT. FRONT PORCH - GASKELL HOUSE

As the front door swings open, Sara Gaskell appears,

riding a wave of jagged party CHATTER onto the porch.

SARA:

Well, hello, everyone. Terry, good to see you

again.

CRABTREE:

Chancellor. Don't you look ravishing.

SARA:

Aren't you sweet to say so. I was beginning to

wonder if you were ever going to--oh!

As Sara steps forward, her heel-catches and she pitches

forward ...into Grady's arms.

GRADY:

Easy there.

SARA:

I'm sorry. It's these goddamned shoes. I don't

know how anyone actually walks in these things.

MISS SLOVIAK:

Practice.

Sara looks at Miss Sloviak, a faint glitter of scientific

curiosity in her eye.

SARA:

I don't believe we've met...

MISS SLOVIAK:

Antonia. Antonia Sloviak--

Just then, a THICKLY-MUCSCLED DOG with very strange EYES

skitters around the corner, BARKING SAVAGELY in the general

direction of Grady.

SARA:

Poe!

CRABTREE:

(mildly)

This wouldn't be Walter's dog, would it?

Poe continues to rage, his paws doing crazy eights on the

hardwood floor, until he's spun himself completely around

and is barking at the living room.

MISS SLOVIAK:

Who ' s he barking at now?

GRADY:

He's still barking at me. He's blind.

SARA:

Poe' Hush! Now stop this. Honestly.

As Poe simmers to a deep growl, GRADY leans forward.

GRADY:

I need to talk to you.

SARA:

That's funny. I need to talk to you, too.

(strategy in her tone)

Perhaps you could put some of these coats in

the upstairs guest room, Professor Tripp.

GRADY:

(reading her)

I don't believe I know where the upstairs

guest room is.

SARA:

Well then. I'd better show you. Terry--

CRABTREE:

We'll just make ourselves at home.

(kneeling by Poe)

Won't we, Poe? Yes, yes....

12INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM

GRADY enters a room swimming in BASEBAIL MEMORABILIA.

AUTOGRAPHED BASEBALLS abound, as well as PHOTOGRAPHS of

famous big-leaguers. In one somewhat-dated PHOTO a TRIM MAN

IN HIS FORTIES (a younger Walter Gaskell) stands with

PITTSBURGH PIRATE BILL MAZEROSKI at an old-timers game. As

Sara eases the door shut, GRADY nods to a 1951 YANKEE'S

PENNANT hanging over the mantle.

GRADY:

New?

SARA:

(nodding)

Walter just got it back from the framer today.

Sara takes Grady's hand, drawing him away from the

pennant and down onto the coat-covered bed.

SARA:

You go first.

GRADY:

All right. This morning--

SARA:

I'm pregnant.

A flash of LAUGHTER flutters from the living room below.

GRADY starts to speak.

SARA:

I'm sure.

GRADY:

Well. This is...surprising. Does Walter... ?

SARA:

I think Walter would find this a little more

than surprising.

GRADY nods, getting her drift, then roils onto his back.

GRADY:

Emily left me this morning.

SARA:

She's left before...

GRADY:

She's left the room before. She always came

back.

Sara nods. Considers this.

SARA:

So. I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry

each other, and have this baby, right? Simple.

GRADY:

Simple.

GRADY and Sara stare at the ceiling. Sara sniffs the coat

lying beneath her. Miss Sloviak's coat.

SARA:

Is that Cristaile?

GRADY:

Hm.

SARA:

(weary)

My God, I wear the same scent as a

transvestite. She IS a transvestite, isn't:

she?

GRADY:

If she's not now, Terry will make sure she is

by the end of the evening.

SARA:

Has he asked to see the book yet?

GRADY:

Yes.

SARA:

And? Are you going to tell him?

GRADY:

No. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know what I'm

going to do.

SARA:

(distantly)

Neither do 1.

GRADY starts to pull up, but his arm is underneath Sara.

GRADY:

Sara, my arm. I'm stuck, honey.

SARA:

I guess you're going to have to chew it off

then.

13INT. LIVING ROOM - GASKELL HOUSE

Poe noses blindly through a forest of legs, pauses by

Miss Sloviak's high heels and scores a Rye Krisp. Crabtree,

returning with a pair of DRINKS, tiptoes around him, finds

MISS SLOVIAK chatting with a trim MAN in his 50's.

CRABTREE:

Walter! I see you've met my friend.

WALTER GASKELL:

Yes . She' s charming.

MISS SLOVIAK:

(taking her drink)

Walter's been telling me the most fascinating

things about Marilyn Monroe and. ..who was it?

WALTER GASKELL:

Joe DiMaggio. Simply put, Antonia, it' s my

contention that their marriage tapped into the

very id of American popular culture. Joe

DiMaggio represented, metaphorically speaking,

the Husband as Slugger.. And, though it may be

controversial, I personally believe every

woman, in some way, desires to be Marilyn

Monroe.

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