Worth Winning Page #5

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Veronica, it is not real life.

It's a fairytale.

Come on. I mean, did you ever read

The Frog Prince?

In that one, he stayed a frog until

she kissed him and brought him back to life.

Yeah, well, I've kissed a lot offrogs,

and I haven't met a princeyet.

You're kissing the wrong frog.

It's hard to find

the right person.

It's a search, a process.

I don't think it's

supposed to be easy.

Well, maybe

I misjudged you, Taylor.

Up until now, I thought ofyou

as just a pleasant diversion...

but maybe there's a well of compassion

and sensitivity in you.

- Really?.

- Not a deep well.

More like a bucket.

Or a toy pail.

You can stop

beforeyou get to Dixie cup.

You know some say

you have to kiss a frog twice.

[ Sobbing ]

- Oh, why did you ever come into my life?.

- To make you happy.

To holduou

in muarms forever.

[Woman ]

I'll neverbe able to look mufather in the face.

Look, let's get away. Let's get married

immediately. Right away, tonight.

- You mean elope?

- That's what I mean.

Where would we go? I've never did

such a thing. I feel so helpless.

[ Humming ]

Guess what. This Veronica,

she's real easy to be with...

once she stops

busting your balls.

After she agrees to marry me...

I'm gonna keep dating her.

[Woman On TV]

Don't talk to one another.

And wheneverauoung man,

and I've met some verynice ones...

Hey, hey, I thought

we made a deal.

Whoever makes breakfast

gets to pick the station.

It's halftime and I don't care

what deal we struck.

I'm not watching the Eaglettes

do the ""Born in the U.S.A." routine.

- Oh, come on. That's the best one.

- [Announcer, Indistinct]

[ Moaning, Kissing ]

[Taulor]

I admire those women.

That's because their job

is more difficult than yours.

[Announcer]

What in the world is going on down there?

It looks like the Eagles cheerleaders

are unfolding a banner or something.

""Congratulations Eri n and T ay" --

[ Phone Ringing]

[ Beep ] Hel lo, Miss Briskow.

This is Eleanor Larimore...

confirming the luncheon tomorrow.

Please give me a call.

Thankuou.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Bye, love buckets.

Piece of cake.

- Veronica.

- Hmm?.

How about if tonight

I give you a special signal on the show?.

You know, one that says

I'm thinking aboutyou.

Oh, that's sweet...

but I watch channel eight.

That doesn't bother me.

Here in the tristate area, we have high winds

coming down from New York.

But we'll have clear air quality tomorrow

in all the Delaware valley.

That's all for the weather.

Now back to my favorite

newscaster, Cory Chu.

Right after

this commercial break.

And in local news, Philadelphia City Council--

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

[Phone Ringing]

- Hello.

- [ Ned ] Hey, buddy.

- Did you see the game?.

- Ned, I don't have time to talk toyou right now.

Things are getting a little close.

I'm 1 5 minutes late for a date

with somebody, and I don't even know who.

Well, I saw that banner on TV.

Who knows who else did?.

Hey, you know, uh, Veronica and Eleanor

are having lunch together.

I think this whole thing

is gonna blow up right in your face.

- Ned, one more thing.

- Yeah, what?.

This is getting ridiculous.

I've gotta break upwith Erin.

[Piano]

- Haveyou picked the ushers yet?.

- Ushers?.

No. No, I haven't.

Uh, Erin, we have to talk.

At Teddy's Tux, ifyou have six or more ushers,

the groom gets his tux for free.

- I have a tux.

- See, I didn't know that.

Erin, you're a wonderful girl...

and I care about you very much.

From a selfish point ofview,

I can't think of anything I would rather have...

than you be mywife for the next 50 or 60--

What are these?.

- Swatches.

- Swatches. Forwhat?.

For my dress

and the bridesmaids' dresses.

What do you mean

by a selfish point ofview?.

I can't marryyou.

- What?.

- Look, I don't know what I was thinking.

I guess that we'd get married

and then we'd be together...

and then we'd decide

to try to have a family.

And then we'd try

for a year or two, and...

then we'd both be tested.

- Anduou would realize that I'm--

- You're saying you're sterile.

Yes.

Oh, I knew you'd understand.

Erin, you deserye better than me.

Wait a minute. You're saying that we'll never

have to worry about birth control...

andifwe want a babu, all I'll have to do

is to be artificialluinseminated.

I am sorry

they won't be yours though.

It's not just that I'm sterile.

See, I can't have an orgasm.

You mean you can just

stay hard forever?.

No, goddamn it,

I mean, I'm impotent.

[Stops ]

- Oh.

- I understand...

- [Resumes ]

you shouldn't be doomed

to a life without sex.

Now don't rush me.

It's just a lot to think about.

Could you give me

a couple of days?.

- Of course.

- Now, in the meantime...

which ofthese do you like best

for my maid ofhonor?.

[ Waiter] Yes, ma'am. Absolutely.

Yes, sir. Be right back.

[Taulor]

Two, please. Thanks.

I had to bring her. Hey.

Do you know about

our discount pass book?.

[ Chattering ]

[Intro ]

Come here.

- You want it, huh?.

- [ Giggles ]

Now. Come on.

- You be my little girl?.

- [ Gasps ] Yes.

[ Squeals ]

I'll beyour little girl.

- Will you be my mommy?.

- Oh, yes.

Oh. I'llbeuourmommu.

[Moans ]

- Willuou be mubride?

- [Squeals ] Yes.

- No. No.

- Yes.

Yes, I'll be your bride. Yes!

- Hi, honey.

- Hi, sweetie.

- Oh. Oh, you know your Picasso?.

- Mm-hmm.

Is that one ofthose

priceless sort ofthings...

or-or merelyworth more than

any man could earn in his entire life?.

[Woman Singing]

- [Continues ]

- You ever heard ofthe Sooners?.

- Football team?. Proper noun.

- Yeah.

But it's also a word

that can mean, like, uh, pioneers.

- Fine. Put it down.

- Great.

S-O-O-N-

E-R.

That's yourword?.

Singular ""Sooner"?.

- Yeah.

- [ Giggles ]

What?. There was only one

""Sooner" in the covered wagon.

Great word, Taylor.

I just wish you could've

thought ofit sooner.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Continues ]

- You moved it.

- Yeah. Now we can see the sun

come up behind the trees.

- You moved my bed without asking.

- I didn't bolt it down.

No?. Why do women

always have to do that?.

Usuallu, it'sjust

a fern orsomething.

Well, I'm not trying to insinuate myself

into your perfectly constructed life.

- No?. Then what was that?.

- I just happen to love waking up in your arms.

I happen to think it would be beautiful

watching the damn sunrise at the same time.

- Ow!

- Oh!

- Afraid ofa little change?.

- You are the most stubborn person...

- I have ever met.

- [ Screams ]

I like it here.

- I should've said so... sooner.

- [ Breathing Heavily]

[Continues ]

[Fades ]

He's impotent.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

What should I do?.

- I can't make upyour mind foryou.

- I was hoping you could.

How?.

I'd like to know

what I've been missing.

Wait a minute.

Do I onluget one shot at this?

- Depends.

- Yeah!

[Fast Breathing]

- Marathon.

- That's very good.

[ High-pitched Voice ]

And the mouse Olympics continue.

[ Humming ]

- Figure-skating.

- That's close.

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