Worth Winning Page #7

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9:
30, I need you."

Et cetera, et cetera.

[ Scoffs ] Here's a smart girl.

""Can't make lunch today, how about Friday?. Erin."

[Man]...it will be nice to seeuou too.

Thankuou verymuch.

- Hi. Worth. 1 :
00 for two.

- Yes. Yes, the young lady's inside.

[ Sighs ]

Sir, she--

Hello. Taylor.

You can't make it?

I know we got a lot to talk about.

You said you'd

make your decision by now.

No, it can't wait till next week.

It's gotta be tomorrow--

in the morning.

Uh-huh. Fine. Fine.

Your house, 1 1 :00.

Yeah. Yeah, thankyou. Bye.

Hi, Taylor--

Where are you?.

Why haven'tyou called me?.

You've been very naughty.

Mommy's gonna

have to punish you.

[ Buzzes ]

- Hi.

- Hello, Taylor. I've made my decision.

- Whatever it is, I'll understand.

- Come on in.

I may have time for a haircut

before the wedding.

[ All ]

Surprise!

- Mom and Dad, this is Taylor.

- Son.

- Oh, Taylor.

- Erin, can I talk toyou for a minute?.

- Not right now. Where is that party mix?.

- Welcome to the family, son.

- Thankyou.

- Hey. Hi. I'm, uh, Chip, brother ofthe bride.

Oh, don't worry about that. You'll have

plenty oftime for talking afteryou're married.

Like, yourwedding night.

God, I love Erin.

She's my favorite niece.

You know, it's just like her

to find somebody likeyou to marry.

I mean, what a heart

on that girl.

Always bringing home some limpin' puppy

or bird with a broken wing.

Erin. Erin.

Can I talk toyou?.

Haveyou tried the stamp test?.

- The what?.

- Thestamp test.

You take a few stamps from a roll--

enough to circleyour penis.

I'd say in your case...

about five.

Put them on beforeuou go to bed.

Overlap them just enough

so you can lick one to make them stick.

Now ifthey break off during the night,

your problem is up here.

- Want to know whu?

- Why?.

Erin!

You don't have toyell, honey.

I'm right here.

Erin. How could you

tell everyone, huh?.

This was supposed to be personal.

Honey, I just talked about it

with my family.

- And some ofthe guys on the team.

- Some ofthe guys on the team?.

- And the coach.

- The coach. Damn it, Erin.

They all seem to agree that

after the firstyear of marriage...

- sex isn't that important.

- Sex is the cornerstone ofintimacy.

Intimacy-shmintacy.

I got a hunch aboutyou, Taylor.

I thinkyour problem's just with women.

I knowuou wouldlook goodin rose,

but liluwouldlook awful.

We're not getting married.

Erin, I can't marryyou.

You can and you will.

- I wanna propose a toast.

- A toast.

- Hey. Right.

- Stay there, son.

Today is the happiest day of my life.

My little girl's engaged.

She's got herself

a wonderful guu.

Of course, I'd be a little happier

ifhe could function as a real man.

- [ Snickers ]

- But even so, it's the happiest day of my life.

- Hip-hip--

- [ Guests ] Hooray.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

Which noboducan denu

Which nobodu can denu

Which nobodu can denu

[Faint ]

Forhe's ajollu good fellow

Oh! Hi, honey.

You're home.

Yeah. I 'm home.

Where are you?.

I'm home too.

- I know what's bothering you.

- No. No, you don't.

- Sex.

- No.

You're afraid it's going to be routine

now that we're living together?.

It won't be. [ Giggles ]

I promise.

- Look!

- Oh.

-Jesus.

- Let's party.

[ Whimpers ]

[Lock Clicks ]

[ Panting ]

It's been a really bad day.

You probably think

I deserye this, don'tyou?.

- Go ahead. Say it.

- Who areuou talking to?

Canuou wash muback?

Hey! Hey, taxi!

[ Whistles ]

Taylor, need a ride

to the wedding?.

Yes.

I'm just gonna

drop these kids off, okay?.

[ Child ]

Mommy,Jason hit me.

[ Claire ]

Then tell Jason you don't like it.

Jason, I don't like it.

I don't like it.

- [Jason ] Good.

- Claire?. Can you drop me offfirst?.

- [ Children ] Hi, Taylor.

- We're off.

- [ Taylor] Claire, did you hear me?.

- [ Children Cheering ]

Hey, Pirate, can you move

your ice cream a little?.

[ Child ]

Maryin dropped his ice cream on Taylor.

Mommy, I lost my balloon.

Can we stop?.

- [Taulor] No.

- Sure we can, sweetie.

Claire, the wedding was supposed to

start five minutes ago.

- Taylor, they're not going to start without you.

- Left. Left!

Claire, left. Turn left.

- [ Kids Shout ]

- [ Claire ] Relax.

There's nothing

to worryabout.

Oh. I'm getting carsick.

- Now that's something to worry about.

-Jason's throwing up on me.

- Then tell Jason you don't like it.

- None of us likes it.

[ Groans ] I have to get to the wedding.

Stop the car.

[ Claire ]

You're so on edge. Take a Valium.

- [ Child ] What's a Valium?.

- It's like a nap.

- [Children ] Bue, Taulor.

- [ Claire ] Bue, Taulor.

[ Child]

Bue, Taulor.

Oh, there he is.

Ladies and gentlemen, the groom.

- Where have you been?.

- 3 1 Flavors. You look disgusting.

Here. Come on.

Let's get a shot here. Huh?.

- Oh, that's nice. That's good.

- Come on. Get up there. Go. Go.

God. I can't believe it.

I'm walking down the aisle.

[ Humming ]

[Processional]

[Continues ]

Hi.

Seeing you right now

made me realize something.

Deep down inside,

I didn't thinkyou'd be here.

Thankyou for being here.

- Let's get married.

- Shall we begin now?.

Yes.

Every couple

has its own story.

It's been my obseryation that the more

interesting the story, the better the marriage.

It looks to me like Taylor and Veronica

are going to have a wonderful marriage.

All of us

are gathered here today...

to witness

and support that union.

TaylorWorth, doyou take Veronica Briskow

to beyour lawfullywedded wife?.

To have and to hold, for better or forworse,

in sickness and in health...

to love and to cherish

from this dauforward...

till death douou part?

- I do.

- Veronica Briskow, do uou take Taulor Worth...

to be uour lawfullu wedded husband,

for better or for worse...

in sickness and in health...

to love and to cherish from this dau forward,

till death do uou part?

- I 'd never marry hi m.

- [ Guests Gasp ]

And you can bet on it.

- [ Guests Murmuring ]

- [ Recessional]

Taylor, did she say

she was going to marryyou?.

And you believed it?.

- This was a setup.

- I-I don't know-- I don't know anything about this.

Ned.

[ Quietly]

Oh, God.

Claire. Claire?.

Claire. Claire.

[Toilet Flushes ]

Veronica, marry me.

Marryyou?. I can't marryyou.

I thoughtyou wanted to move in together.

I do and have kids and grow old.

Yeah, well, I'd wanna try it out first.

Live together for a few months...

- see how we get along.

- How we get along?.

How we... get along?.

- Go away.

- You do the mouse Olympics with everyone?.

- I think there's more to

marriage than mouse Olympics.

- Yeah. So do I.

- There's a lot more.

- I said, go away.

There's caring. Veronica,

I care aboutyou very much.

- Oh, the hell with it.

- [Intercom Buzzes ]

You make me laugh at myself.

You know whatyou have?. You have my heart.

Anduou know what?

I don't wantuou to let go.

I wanna have terrible fights with uou

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