Wrath of the Gods Page #11

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kleez; Roman name: Hercules) and the heroine Atalanta (at-uh-

LAN-tuh). So Jason arranged to have a ship constructed by the

worthy shipwright Argus (AR-gus), who in a fit of vanity named

the vessel more or less after himself, calling her the “Argo.”

Argus had divine sponsorship in his task. The goddess Hera

(HEE-ruh), who had it in for Pelias, enlisted the aid of her

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fellow goddess Athena (a-THEE-nuh). This patroness of crafts

secured a prow for the vessel from timber hewn at the sacred

grove of almighty Zeus. This prow had the magical property

of speaking—and prophesying—in a human voice.

And so one bright autumn morning the Argo set out to sea,

her benches crewed by lusty ranks of heroic rowers. And

true to Pelias’s fondest aspirations, it wasn’t long before big

troubles assailed the company. After stopping for better than

a fortnight on an island populated exclusively by women,

they put in at Salmydessus (sal-mih-DESS-us).

The king welcomed them but was in no mood for festive

entertainment. Because he’d offended the gods, he’d been

set upon by woman-headed, bird-bodied, razor-clawed

scourges known as Harpies (HAR-peez). These Harpies were

possessed of reprehensible table manners. Every evening

at dinnertime, they dropped by to defecate upon the king’s

repast and hung around making such a racket that he

wouldn’t have been able to eat had he the stomach for it.

As a result, King Phineus (FIN-ee-us) grew thinner by

the hour. Fortunately two of Jason’s crew were direct

descendants of the North Wind, which gave them the power

to fly. And they kindly chased the Harpies so far away

that the king was never bothered again. In thankfulness,

he informed the Argonauts of a danger just ahead on the

route to the Golden Fleece—namely two rocks called the

Symplegades (sim-PLEG-uh-deez), which had the disconcerting

habit of crashing together upon any ship that passed

between them.

Phineus suggested that it might be best not to experience

the effect of these Clashing Rocks firsthand. And he even

suggested a mechanism by which this might be avoided. If

someone or something could be induced to pass between

the crags first, causing them to clash together, the Argo

could follow quickly behind, passing through safely before

the Symplegades were ready to snap shut again. By means

of this device, Jason caused the rocks to spring together

prematurely. The Argo was able to pass between them

relatively unscathed. Only her very stern was nipped and

splintered.

A ship awaits you at the end of a pier. Before you clamber

aboard, you look at the barrel of hardtack on the pier. If you

click on it, you help yourself to a handful.

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ONBOARD SHIP. Once you’re aboard, a Sailor greets you.

SAILOR:

Aye, welcome aboard the Argo, finest ship that

ever sailed, built with the help of the gods. They

even installed a talking timber. Darn thing won’t

shut up!

TALKING PROW:

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Guy comes into

a tailor shop holding a pair of pants. Tailor says,

“Euripides?” Guy says, “Yeah, Eumenides?”

(Euripides (yoo-RIP-i-deez) was one of the great playwrights

of Classical Greece. The Eumenides (yoo-MEN-i-deez) were

goddesses of fertility. This ancient joke is based on their

name sounding a little like “You mend-a deze?”)

SAILOR:

See what I mean? Up ahead are the Clashing

Rocks… You want to take her through?

The scene freezes. There are five areas of interest: the

oarsmen, the ship’s prow, a bell, and a bird on the yardarm.

Click the bell and it rings. Talk to the Prow:

PROW:

Get it? The guy’s pants are torn, so the tailor says

“Euripides?”

And:

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PROW:

Stick around, I got a million of ‘em.

And:

PROW:

Really, stick around. I got more.

It is only if you further persist in talking to the Prow that you

get the hint below. If you click on the bird, this animates you

waving your arms and shooing it. Clicking on the oars starts

the rowers in action. The boat moves toward the Clashing

Rocks and into the passage between them. Cut to your face

in terror as the Rocks slam together and smash the ship.

OLYMPUS. Transition to Mount Olympus. If you haven’t

talked to the Prow yet:

ZEUS:

(exasperated, shaking his head)

So you’re the young upstart who just smashed

the Argo to pieces. Let me see if I’ve got this

straight. You’re given a custom boat and you

don’t even try out the options? Next time check

out all the bells and whistles.

Zeus waves you away like a minor annoyance and you

dematerialize. You find yourself back on the pier. When you

climb aboard the ship, the Sailor greets you.

SAILOR:

Oh my gods, fellas, he’s back. You sure you want

to take her through again?

You remember Zeus’s admonition and speak to the Prow.

PROW:

At long last you finally ask

For speech right from the heart

I’ve languished here for weeks and weeks

With wisdom to impart

Before you pass between the rocks

You’ll have to spring the trap

Lest valiant Argo and all her crew

Be pounded into…pieces.

If you’ve had this hint but still crash, you find yourself on

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Olympus again.

ZEUS:

Let me see if I’ve got this straight. I give you a

talking prow, and you don’t even pay attention.

If, however, you realize that “springing the trap” means

luring the bird between the Clashing Rocks, you take the

hardtack from your inventory and click it on the passage

between the rocks. This animates you throwing the hardtack

toward the rocks. The bird flies between them. The Rocks

clash together and then open up again. You click on the oars

and the boat moves forward. Cut to yourself in the perilous

moment of passage. You flinch and say “uh oh” but the

Rocks slam behind you. You hold up your arms in victory

and receive 25 points.

Siren

SEASCAPE WITH ROCKS. Having made it through the

Clashing Rocks, you’re still at sea and approaching a rock

on which a lovely Siren perches. There were actually two

or three Sirens, who had the bodies of women with bird

heads and bird feet, or bird bodies with women’s heads

and voices. Some say that they acquired this form when,

as attendants to the goddess Demeter (dee-MEE-tur), they

witnessed the abduction of her daughter Persephone (per-SEFuh-

nee) by Hades (HAY-deez), god of the dead. Persephone was

gathering flowers in a meadow one day when a huge crack

opened up and Hades emerged in his chariot. He snatched

up Persephone and descended to his realm again. Demeter,

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goddess of the harvest, was heartbroken, and while she

wandered the length and breadth of the earth in search of her

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