Wreck-It Ralph Page #3

WRECK-IT RALPH

INT. PENTHOUSE

Ralph throws the door open and pushes Felix inside.

RALPH:

Hey-oh, everybody!

Ralph’s head slams into the ceiling. A large chunks falls

down on Felix YELPS! Felix drops DEAD.

Everyone GASPS in horror. A little flower floats above Felix,

and we hear a quick cycle of DEATH MUSIC.

Felix suddenly regenerates next to Ralph.

FELIX:

I’m okay. I’m okay. Fit as a

fiddle.... Now, you all know Ralph.

RALPH:

Evening...oops.

(breaking the steps)

Evening Nel. Lucy. Don. Dana.

DEANNA:

Deanna.

RALPH:

Big Gene.

GENE:

(to Felix, annoyed)

Why is HE here?

FELIX:

He’s just here for a slice of cake.

RALPH:

And I am a big part of the game,

technically speaking... Why are you

here, Gene?

Ralph bends down and he and Gene face off.

Felix steps between them, breaking it up.

FELIX:

Oh look, the cake.

Mary wheels out an elaborate cake of the Niceland apartment

building, complete with “We Love Felix” candy fireworks.

WRECK-IT RALPH

FELIX (CONT’D)

Well, I’ll be dipped; you’ve really

outdone yourself, Mary.

The Nicelanders gather around the cake and HAIL PRAISE.

ROY:

Oh and look; there’s all of us at

the top.

Ralph approaches and looks over the cake.

INSET CAKE:
A little Felix stands on the roof, reaching for a

medal, surrounded lovingly by Nicelanders. But there’s no

sign of Ralph.

MARY:

Each apartment is everyone’s

favorite flavor. Norwood’s is red

velvet.

NORWOOD (O.S.)

Guilty!

MARY (CONT’D)

Lemon for Lucy. Rum cake for gene,

and for Felix-

Ralph looks for his figurine, and finds himself in the mud,

looking like some sort of deranged troll. His face sinks.

RALPH:

Hey Mary, what’s the flavor of that

mud that I’m stuck in there?

MARY:

Hmm? Oh, chocolate.

RALPH:

Never been real fond of chocolate.

MARY:

Well, I did not know that.

RALPH:

One other little thing — I hate to

be picky but — this angry little

guy might be a lot happier if you

put him up here with everyone else.

Ralph picks up the little Ralph figurine. He puts him on the

roof, smooshing the cake a little.

WRECK-IT RALPH

MARY:

My cake.

Ralph pushes an ugly smile onto his figurine’s face.

RALPH:

See that? Look at that smile.

GENE:

No, no, no. You see, Ralph,

there’s no room for you up here.

Gene knocks Little Ralph back into the mud.

RALPH:

Well, what about this? We can make

room. We can take turns. Easy.

Ralph puts Little Ralph back on top of the cake and slams

Little Felix into the mud instead. The Nicelanders GASP.

FELIX:

How about we just eat the cake!

GENE:

Hang on. Felix needs to be on the

roof, because he’s about to get his

medal.

RALPH:

Well, then how about we just take

that medal and give it to Ralph for

once. Would that be the end of the

world, Gene?

Ralph rips the medal off, breaking the delicate fireworks,

and puts it on little Ralph.

GENE:

Now you’re just being ridiculous;

only good guys win medals, and you

sir are no good guy.

RALPH:

I could be a good guy if I wanted

to, and I could win a medal.

GENE:

Uh-huh. And when you do, come and

talk to us.

Gene takes Ralph off the cake.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH:

And then would you finally let me

be on the top of the cake with you

guys?

GENE:

If you won a medal, we’d let you

live up here in the penthouse....

(off Ralph’s look)

But it will never happen...

Gene rips the medal off little Ralph, puts it on little

Felix, and puts Felix back on the top.

GENE (CONT’D)

...because you’re just the bad guy

who wrecks the building.

RALPH:

No, I’m not.

Gene slams Little Ralph back in the mud upside down.

GENE:

Yes, you are.

RALPH:

No, I’m NOT!

Ralph slams his fist down right on the cake. SMASH! Chunks of

cake and frosting cover the Nicelanders. Pac-Man stops

eating. His mouth falls open in shock.

GENE:

Yes, you are.

RALPH:

All right, Gene, you know what? I’m

gonna win a medal. Oh I am gonna

win a medal! The shiniest medal

this place has ever seen. A medal

so good that it will make Felix’s

medals wet their pants! And good

night. Thank you for the party.

Ralph exits, smashing a hole in the other side of the door.

ROY:

Is he serious?

WRECK-IT RALPH

GENE:

Oh please, where is a Bad Guy gonna

win a medal? Of course he’s not

serious.

SLAM CUT TO:

RALPH’S HAND CATCHING A BEER.

We’re in a bar.

RALPH:

I’ve never been more serious about

anything in my life. That’s why I

came straight here, Tapper.

TAPPER the bartender collects the empties in front or Ralph.

RALPH (CONT’D)

You’ve never given me a bum steer.

Now, where can a guy like me go and

win a medal?

TAPPER:

I don’t think such a game exists,

Ralph.

RALPH:

Come on, you know people. There’s

got to be--

MAN (O.S.)

Tapper! Need a root beer!

TAPPER:

(to Ralph)

Hold that thought.

Tapper runs off.

OUTSIDE THE GAME CONSOLE: we watch the 8-bit view of the Root

Beer Tapper game as Tapper zips down a row of bars, sliding

beers to other customers.

BACK INSIDE THE GAME: Tapper returns to Ralph’s side.

TAPPER (CONT’D)

You were saying.

RALPH:

I was saying, I can’t spend another

thirty years living alone in the

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH (CONT'D)

garbage. I’m not going back without

a medal.

TAPPER:

Well, I don’t know what to tell

you. Maybe somebody left a medal

here. You’re welcome to dig through

the lost and found.

SLAM CUT TO:

INT. BROOM CLOSET

Ralph digs through the “lost and found” crate. Behind him we

see a hallway with the saloon doors on one side and restrooms

on the other.

RALPH:

Okay let’s see what we’ve got here.

Ralph rummages through the box. A little cockroach scurries

out of the box. Ralph SHOOS it.

RALPH (CONT’D)

Shoo. Shoo. Go.

(back rummaging)

Mushroom. No.... What is this? No.

(picking up a pair of red

briefs)

Oh come on Zangief. Gross.

Ralph sighs, pushes the crate back into the closet, sighs.

RALPH (CONT’D)

What am I doing?

Just then, a heavily-armored space marine enters through the

saloon doors and bumps into Ralph.

RALPH (CONT’D)

Hey, excuse you.

The marine staggers on and right into the wall again and

again, in a walk cycle. Meet PVT. MARKOWSKI.

MARKOWSKI:

(mumbling, shell-shocked)

We are humanity’s last hope. Our

mission, destroy all cy-bugs. We

are humanity’s last hope-

Ralph stands and looks at him, curious.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH:

You okay there, cadet?

Markowski whips around quickly and grabs Ralph by the collar.

MARKOWSKI:

We’ve only been plugged in a week.

And every day it’s climb the

building. Fight bugs. Climb the

building. Fight more bugs.

Ralph pries Markowski’s hands off of his collar.

RALPH:

Yeah yeah yeah, right. Hey, easy on

the overalls spaceman. It’s tough

all over.

Ralph heads for the door.

MARKOWSKI:

And all for what? A lousy medal.

RALPH:

Medal? You win a medal?

MARKOWSKI:

Yeah. Medal of Heroes.

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