Wreck-It Ralph Page #5

Calhoun CLOCKS his helmet with the butt of her gun.

RALPH (CONT’D)

Ow!

CALHOUN:

What’s the first rule of Hero’s

Duty?

RALPH:

...No cuts, no butts, no coconuts?

WRECK-IT RALPH

She clocks him again.

CALHOUN:

Never interfere with the first

person shooter. Our job is to get

the gamers to the top of that

building so they can get a medal,

and that’s it. So stick to the

program, soldier!

RALPH:

Right, right, aye aye!

GAME ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Quarter alert. Quarter alert.

CALHOUN:

(walking away)

All right, p*ssy willows, back to

start positions!

RALPH:

Yeah, right. No way I’m going

through that again.... so that’s

where they keep the medal, huh?

He looks up at the formidable building.

CUT TO:

LITWAK’S ARCADE

The moppet that had been playing Hero’s Duty now walks up to

a cheerful racing game called SUGAR RUSH. The marquee

advertises:
“New Racers Daily” and “Build your own kart.” Two

BIG KIDS are playing it.

MOPPET:

New racers daily, sweet...

I got next game.

The moppet goes to put a quarter on the console. The Big Kid

slides her quarter off with a whole roll of quarters.

BIG KID ONE:

Go away, kid. We’re gonna play all

nine of today’s racers.

BIG KID TWO:

Yeah!

MOPPET:

Sorry.

WRECK-IT RALPH

The Moppet sighs, goes over to Fix-It Felix, Jr. instead.

INSIDE NICELAND:
The intro music plays. Nicelanders take

their positions. But Ralph does not. A quote bubble pops up

where he should be, reading: I’M GONNA WRECK IT!

BACK ON THE MOPPET: She looks confused.

MOPPET GIRL:

Where’s the wrecking guy?

INSIDE NICELAND:
The Nicelanders start to panic.

MARY:

Where’s Ralph? He should be

wrecking the building.

GENE:

Shhh. Stick with the program.

NICELANDERS:

Fix it, Felix!

FELIX:

(jumping on screen)

I can fix it!

He GASPS in shock to see there’s no Ralph and nothing to fix,

but quickly recovers and smiles for the gamer.

FELIX (CONT’D)

(through gritted teeth)

Ralph. Quarter alert. Game on.

The Moppet Girl makes Felix bounce up the building.

MARY:

Do something, Felix.

FELIX:

Just act natural. I’ll fix it.

BACK ON THE MOPPET: She freaks as the joystick moves on its

own as Felix climbs down the building and runs off screen.

INSIDE NICELAND:
Felix climbs Ralph’s garbage pile. Ralph’s

not there. Felix’s reassuring face turns to panic.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Oh my land. Where is he?

BACK ON THE MOPPET: She’s fed up.

WRECK-IT RALPH

MOPPET GIRL:

Mr. Litwak!

MR. LITWAK

What’s the trouble, sweetheart?

MOPPET GIRL:

The game’s busted.

Mr. Litwak takes a look. He can see the Nicelanders and Felix

panicking on screen and hears nonsensical computer chatter.

MR. LITWAK

Whoa boy, looks like the game’s

gone cuckoo...like my Nana.

(to the moppet)

Sorry, sweetie. Here’s your quarter

back.

He gives her back a quarter.

MOPPET:

But what about the game?

MR. LITWAK

I’ll have someone look at it

tomorrow. But if he can’t fix it,

it might be time to put ol’ Ralph

and Felix out to pasture...like my

Nana.

Litwak hangs an OUT OF ORDER sign on the screen.

INSIDE NICELAND:
The Nicelanders run out of the building and

watch in horror as the sign eclipses the arcade light.

GENE:

Ladies and gentlemen, we are out of

order!

MARY:

Sweet Mercy! Without Ralph, we’re

doomed.

ROY:

They’re gonna pull our plug!

FELIX:

(forced positivity)

Okay everybody calm down. Ralph

probably fell asleep in the

washroom of Tapper’s again.

Just then, a light approaches through the cord.

WRECK-IT RALPH

FELIX (CONT’D)

(relieved)

See? There he is now.

The push-cart arrives, cranked by Q*Bert, not Ralph.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Why it’s Q*Bert. What brings you

here, neighbor?

Q*BERT

#$^&#$#(@!!*@!

GENE:

What’s he saying, Felix?

FELIX:

Stand by, my Q*Bertese is a little

rusty.

(in bad Q*Bertese)

#$*@)^#(?@#

Q*BERT

$^&@#$*@)#!!@!&!

FELIX:

(in bad Q*Bertese)

!!*$&)@#?

Q*BERT

&#$#$&*))@!!*$&

FELIX:

Ralph’s gone Turbo?

CUT TO:

RALPH’S STRAINED, GROWLING FACE.

Pull back to reveal, he’s still in Hero’s Duty. He’s forgone

the armor and he’s climbing the building.

Ralph reaches the top. He peers in the window, sees:

A sea of eggs leads to a chamber in the middle of the room.

Inside the chamber floats the Medal of Heroes.

RALPH:

Oooh, shiny.

DOWN BELOW:
Soldiers return to Start Position.

WRECK-IT RALPH

GAME VOICE (O.S.)

Attention, the arcade is now

closed.

SOLDIER 1

Did you get a load of Markowski?

Calhoun stops, squints, sniffs. She raises her hand, quieting

her troops.

CALHOUN:

Shut your chew holes.

(to herself)

Cy-bug.

We hear a BLING. BLING. Felix steps out of the shadows.

Calhoun reels around starts firing-

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

Taste it!

Soldiers open fire on Felix, too. He springs into action,

bouncing, dodging bullets and laser beams. BLING. BLING.

Calhoun finally tackles him, straddles him and pins him down.

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

Slick tiddly-winking, pint-size.

She drives her gun’s muzzle into his face.

FELIX:

I’m Fix-It Felix Jr., ma’am, from

the game Fix-It Felix, Jr.

From the low angle, looking up at her.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Jiminy-jaminy.... Look at that high

definition. Your face; it’s

amazing!

CALHOUN:

Flattery don’t charge these

batteries, civilian.

She lets him up.

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

Now state your business.

FELIX:

Oh. I’m looking for my colleague,

Wreck-It Ralph.

WRECK-IT RALPH

CALHOUN:

Never heard of him....

FELIX:

Well Q*Bert saw him come in here.

CALHOUN:

Impossible. Nothing gets past me.

A CRASH is heard from above.

KOHUT:

That came from the tower!

They look and see Ralph’s shadow on the top floor made giant

by the beacon light.

ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE LAB: Ralph punches the window, breaks

it, and steps in. He does his most careful TIP-TOE across a

sea of eggs.

RALPH:

Nice little eggs... excuse me...

He climbs the steps up to the chamber, triggering a giant

hologram head to appear.

GENERAL HOLOGRAM

Congratulations soldier. It is my

honor to bestow upon you the Medal

of Heroes.

RALPH:

(in awe)

Wow.

The medal floats down to him. As it does, we see...

RALPH’S PENTHOUSE PARTY — VISION

-Ralph is on the dance floor surrounded by Nicelanders doing

the Wreck-it Ralph dance.

-Mary wheels out a cake with a handsome Ralph on top, wearing

his Medal of Heroes and being hugged by the Nicelander

figurines.

-Gene is outside in the brick pile looking longingly up at

the party through binoculars. He cries.

BACK TO REALITY:
The medal lands around Ralph’s neck.

RALPH (CONT’D)

No way. Ho-ho-ho. Wow!

WRECK-IT RALPH

GENERAL HOLOGRAM

Ten hut! History will long revere

your courage and sacrifice.

More holograms of space Colonels and Generals surround him.

Heroic music plays. Ralph backs down the steps, smiling and

waving to the holograms.

GENERAL HOLOGRAM (CONT’D)

You have etched in the rock of

virtue, a legacy beyond compare.

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