Wreck-It Ralph Page #8

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH:

(looking up)

Huh?

The giant cupcake falls onto him. His taffy-covered head pops

out the top. He tips over.

RALPH(CONT’D)

Can’t move.

WYNNCHEL:

Now we got him.

The donut cops rush up to a helpless Ralph -- who points to

where Vanellope went and mumble-yells.

RALPH:

OH GOOD, THE COPS. SHE WEN DAAAWAY!

They ignore him and knock him with their batons.

DUNCAN:

Hold still.

WYNNCHEL:

Take that.

RALPH:

Hmmmmay! What’re you doing?!

KING CANDY:

(into his microphone)

Okay folks. Calm down! Everything’s

all right. The monster’s been

caught. We’ll repair all the

damage. Don’t worry, we will have

our race before the arcade opens.

VANELLOPE:

And I’m in it.

Vanellope hops into her kart and pedals off.

TAFFYTA:

(to the other racers)

There’s no way that I am racing

with a glitch. Rancis, Candlehead,

come on.

She and the racers hop in their cars and drive off.

KING CANDY:

Sour Bill, that glitch cannot be

allowed to race.

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

KING CANDY (CONT'D)

(point down to Ralph)

And bring that THING to my castle.

Wynnchel switches to using a taser on Ralph.

RALPH:

She took my me-- Aaaahhhhhh!!!

CUT TO:

EXT. KING’S CANDY CASTLE

OREO GUARDS march and chant outside a grand candy palace.

OREO GUARDS:

(chanting)

O-re-o. O-ree-o. O-re-o. O-ree-o.

INT. KING’S CANDY CASTLE

The donut police roll the Ralph cupcake/taffy ball into a

frilly throne room. King Candy drives his kart right into the

room and backs it into his THRONE parking spot.

KING CANDY:

Sour Bill, de-taffify this monster

so we can see what we’re up against

here.

SOUR BILL:

Mmmm-kay.

Sour Bill pulls off a giant glob of taffy, exposing Ralph’s

face and head.

RALPH:

Waaahhhhhh!

KING CANDY:

Milk my duds, it’s Wreck-it Ralph?!

RALPH:

(getting his bearings)

Yeah. Who are you, the guy that

makes the donuts?

KING CANDY:

Please. No, I’m King Candy.

RALPH:

I see you’re a fan of pink.

WRECK-IT RALPH

KING CANDY:

Salmon. Salmon. That’s obviously

sal-- What are you doing here?

RALPH:

Look, you’re candiness, this is

just a big misunderstanding. Just

get me out of this cupcake, I’ll

get my medal, and I’ll be outta

your way.

KING CANDY:

YOUR medal? Bad guys don’t win

medals.

RALPH:

Well, this one did. I earned it

over in Hero’s Duty.

KING CANDY:

You game-jumped? Ralph, you’re not

going Turbo are you?

RALPH:

What? No, no no.

KING CANDY:

Because if you think you can come

in here to my kingdom and take over

my game, you’ve got another thing

coming.

RALPH:

Easy your puffiness. It’s not my

fault one of your children of the

candy corn stole my medal!

KING CANDY:

Children of the candy corn? Who?

(realizing, GASP)

The glitch! The coin she used to

buy her way into the race, that was

your medal?

RALPH:

She did what...? I need that back!

KING CANDY:

Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you.

It’s gone, it’s nothing but code

now. And it’ll stay that way until

someone wins the cup at the end of

the race.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH:

Well, maybe I’ll just have to have

a little talk with the winner then.

KING CANDY:

Is that a threat I smell-- beyond

the halitosis you so obviously

suffer from?

RALPH:

Listen Nillie Wafer, I’m not

leaving without my medal.

KING CANDY:

Yes, you are. Wynnchel, Duncan, get

him out of that cupcake and on the

first train back home. And if I

ever see you here again, Wreck-it

Ralph, I’ll lock you in my fungeon.

RALPH:

Fungeon?

KING CANDY:

Fun Dungeon. It’s a play on

words.... Nevermind. Now, I’ve got

a glitch to deal with, thanks to

you. Goodbye Wreck-it Ralph. It

hasn’t been a pleasure.

King Candy hops into his kart and drives out of the room.

Wynnchel knocks on the cupcake.

DUNCAN:

This thing’s hard as a rock.

WYNNCHEL:

I can see that. Get the tools.

RALPH:

What tools?

Wynnchel hits Ralph with the baton.

WYNNCHEL:

Quiet, you.

Duncan goes over to a chest, pulls out a chain-saw, and revs

it up.

RALPH:

What? No! Ah! Stay away from me!

WRECK-IT RALPH

WYNNCHEL:

Hey, take it easy, big boy.

Ralph flails. He rolls back onto his feet and starts hobbling

towards the door.

DUNCAN:

He’s getting away!

The Oreo guards block his way, shouting “Oreo.” He turns and

eyes two giant windows.

CUT TO:

OUTSIDE THE DOUBLE CASTLE WINDOWS

Ralph and the cupcake burst through the wall and fall.

BACK INSIDE THE CASTLE

Wynnchel and Duncan run to the window. They look down and see

the smashed cupcake on the ground and Ralph running away.

WYNNCHEL:

Quick, call out the devil dogs.

CUT TO:

EXT. LOLLISTIX FOREST - A SHORT WHILE LATER

DEVIL DOGS on leashes bound through the trees and down the

ravine. They stop by a chocolate stream. They lose the scent

and run off down river.

A pixie stick, poking out of the stream, moves. Ralph breaks

the surface.

RALPH:

Argh... I hate chocolate.

(scrambling to the shore)

Got to get my medal back.

He hears the ROAR of engines. Sees a bunch of racers speed by

on nearby road.

RALPH (CONT’D)

The pot goes to the winning racer.

He runs after them.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH (CONT’D)

Hey, kids! Can I talk to you for a

second?

He just misses them, as they disappear around the bend and

approach Vanellope, who is working on her handmade kart. It’s

up on a jacks.

The racers sweep in and surround her. She pushes away any

evidence of fear and stands tall to meet them.

VANELLOPE:

Hello, fellow racers!

Ralph peeks over the hill.

RALPH:

It’s that little crumbsnatcher.

VANELLOPE:

Taffyta, Rancis, you’re looking

well. Came by to check out the

competition, huh? Well, here it is,

The Lickity Split.

ON RALPH:
unimpressed.

RALPH:

Jeesh. Looks like she built it

herself.

BACK ON THE KIDS: Taffyta gets out of her kart and approaches

Vanellope.

VANELLOPE:

Built it myself. Fastest pedal-

power west of the Whack-A-Mole.

Check her out.

Vanellope hops in her kart and starts pedalling. The gears

catch and spin.

TAFFYTA:

Oh, Vanellope, it’s so...you. But

you have to back out of the race,

yeah.

Vanellope gets out of her kart and approaches Taffyta.

VANELLOPE:

Oh, no I don’t, because I paid my

fee. I’m on the board. So, yeah,

I’m definitely racing.

WRECK-IT RALPH

TAFFYTA:

Well, King Candy says glitches

can’t race.

VANELLOPE:

I’m not a glitch, Taffyta.

(she glitches)

I’ve just got Pixlexia, okay?

Ignoring her, Taffyta walks over to Vanellope’s kart.

TAFFYTA:

The rules are there for a reason,

Vanellope. To protect us.

(getting in Vanellope’s

kart)

Say I’m you. I’m in my weird little

car, and I’m driving, and I

actually feel kinda cool for once.

And then, all of a sudden, oh no!

I’m gl-gl-gl-gl-itching!

Taffyta shudders and then rips the steering wheel right off.

VANELLOPE:

Hey!

TAFFYTA:

See? You’re an accident just

waiting to happen.

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