Wrong Page #5

on the premises again, Dolph.

Is that clear?

F***!

I'm sorry. I... I just...

My mind was elsewhere and I...

Ronnie would like to see you today.

He's made some progress

with the investigation.

He's got a bona fide lead.

- Ronnie?

- Yes.

The top-level detective Master Chang hired.

Okay. Great.

Here's his address.

Thanks.

Hey, honey? What about Jenny?

- Who?

- Jenny, if it's a girl.

I don't know her.

No, I'm asking

what you think of the name.

I don't really know.

It sounds stupid, I would say.

Stupid?

Really?

Okay, then... Well, if it's a boy,

I really like Oscar.

What do you think?

Listen, I am busy right now,

so if you can leave...

But, honey, this is like super important.

I mean, in this book that a first name

predetermines the human being's personality.

For instance, Bruno is a bad choice.

Okay, apparently it's been proven

that all Brunos eventually hang themselves.

You know, I really liked Jenny.

They're saying here that

they're cheery and normal.

Are you sure you don't like it?

Are you even listening to me?

Of course, yes.

And what are you doing with those tools?

I have to build a mound for the palm tree

because it's too short.

Why?

I don't know. Sometimes it happens,

it's too short, this one.

What?

I... I think this is it.

- This is what?

- F***!

I think I'm in labor.

Really? Why?

I don't know how it's possible,

but it's happening.

It's happening? I don't understand.

I... I need to get to the beach.

Now? To the beach?

No, no, no. No, it's not possible.

I've not finished the mound, so I'm sorry.

Very bad timing, sorry.

No, no, no, Dolph, I've always dreamed

of giving birth on the beach.

So, we... we have to.

Okay.

Okay.

- Does it hurt?

- I love you.

Can you believe this is happening to us?

Do you realize how beautiful this is?

Wow.

I just hope I have enough gas

because my fuel gauge is broken,

so I never know if I have enough gas or not.

- Hi.

- May I help you, sir?

I'm looking for Ronnie, the detective.

Yes. Follow me.

Ronnie, you have a visitor.

Dolph, I was expecting you.

I know.

Have a seat.

Just tell me the truth right now.

You haven't found Paul.

No, I haven't. But any minute now.

I think you're gonna be very surprised.

What I'm about to show you

is highly interesting.

See for yourself.

What is this? I don't... I don't understand.

That's Paul.

What do you mean? I don't see anything.

Where's Paul?

That's Paul from the inside.

- The inside?

- Yes.

We've accessed the turd's memory.

The one I picked out from your garden?

Those are its first memories

from within Paul's intestine.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.

Okay, it's very simple.

I've plugged Paul's sh*t into a device

that lets me gather data

and convert that data into video signals.

Then, I've also plugged it

into another device

which lets me scan

that same sh*t's subconscious,

as I please, and record the information.

Okay, okay.

Wow.

What we're seeing are

Paul's turd's memories.

Yes, that's it, exactly.

I've taped it all on cassette.

Incredible.

Anything is possible

with technology nowadays.

Well, why is the image so bad?

It's an old monitor. Don't worry about that.

Okay, um, and... and what are those numbers?

You can see them right there, here.

That's the date and the time.

It's 7:
12, the day Paul disappeared.

I think you're still asleep.

Paul is alone in the yard.

Yeah, I... I usually sleep later than that.

And how do you know he's in the yard?

- Let me fast-forward, I'll show you.

- Okay.

There. It's now 7:25

and the turd is nearing the exit.

Can you turn the volume up?

No, there's no audio.

It's now 7:
26,

and the turd has exited Paul's body.

Yes.

We are no longer inside Paul,

but on the grass in your yard.

And there's your dog who

just finished serving his bodily functions.

Paul.

Yes, that's him.

God, it's so good to see him.

Now, pay attention to what happens next.

It all happens very fast.

You see that van in the back over there?

Yes.

Look carefully at what's about to happen.

There. Did you see it?

Paul has been kidnapped.

Yeah, I know.

Now, the good news is,

I have been able to zoom in

on the front of the van

and recover the license plate number.

And I'd say we're only a couple days away

from nailing that f***er and finding Paul.

Wait, hold on.

What... What do you mean you know?

I know.

What do you know?

I know Paul's been kidnapped.

Are you f***ing with me right now?

No. I thought you knew.

You didn't... You didn't tell me?

Why did I bother investigating then?

Well, I thought Master Chang would tell you.

Well, he didn't.

He just said to find your dog.

Are you f***ing with me right now?

You should've told me.

You're the detective.

F***!

I'm the detective...

Ronnie, sorry to interrupt.

Master Chang just called.

He said to drop the Adolf Springer case.

What?

Actually it's Dolph Springer,

it's not Adolf.

Right, sorry. Dolph Springer.

Master Chang said not to pursue and

he asked that you cease the investigation.

F***! Why? Did he say why?

It seems Mr. Adolf refused

to do him a small favor and it peeved him.

Are you f***ing kidding me? Who does that?

You don't halt an investigation

halfway through it.

Sh*t! Is he going to pay us or not?

I... I sent the second invoice yesterday.

Master Chang's accountant

didn't seem too pleased.

I'm worried they might stiff us.

F***! Son of a b*tch!

Motherf***er! Son of a b*tch!

F***ing cocksucker!

I told you to get that invoice approved

by that b*tch ahead of time.

Sh*t! Sh*t!

Motherf***er!

Take it easy.

You... This is all your fault.

You are never gonna find your f***ing dog.

Never! Now get the hell out of here!

Daddy, Daddy, look what I found.

Isn't it great?

What is this?

Is it an urchin?

No, it's not an urchin.

What is it then?

Well...

It's difficult to explain.

Is it a starfish?

No, I don't think so, kid.

Don't call him "kid".

It's weird.

Sorry, son.

I don't want to be a gardener

when I grow up, it sucks.

It's a broken wine bottle.

Yes, that's what it is.

What's it for?

Well, when it's not broken,

you put liquid in it

and then you drink that liquid.

Okay.

Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!

I've always dreamed

of giving birth on the beach.

You gonna get on?

Changed my mind.

I had every intention of boarding

when I raised my hand a moment ago.

But I don't want to anymore.

What made you change your mind

so suddenly?

I don't like you, that's what.

You don't even know me.

I've seen enough to make an assessment.

It's no use coaxing me.

Once my mind's made up, I never waver.

I'll take the next one.

Okay.

Come on, darling.

Beautiful.

Very moving.

Good. We can go now.

Okay, Master.

What is next?

Mrs. Weller is reuniting with her cat

in 15 minutes, not far from here.

Okay, let's go there.

I like her.

Mike, it's me.

You're not gonna believe this.

I found Paul.

Call me back as soon as you can.

I have to tell you about it.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes