Wrong Cops Page #2

Nice and easy.

- Well, have to see.

What is it?

- Well, I mean, you know,

I don't want to talk about it here.

Let's take a walk.

- Oh, my God.

Who is that guy?

- Nobody.

Just some guy.

- What happened?

Did you run him over?

- No, I shot him by mistake.

- This is not how we're gonna

fit in with the neighbors.

Why did you do that?

- Shut up, Mommy.

Everything is fine.

No one saw anything.

Fate wanted this, not me.

Can you help me lift this f***er?

- I got this.

All right.

I didn't like the guy anyway.

- I'll dump him in the river.

Oh, no!

I thought you were dead!

- Yeah, me too.

- F***!

- Wh...wh...

What was the music you were listening to

when you were driving?

I liked it a lot.

- Ugh, that's disgusting.

- So listen.

You take him,

you get rid of him neatly,

and I simply forget

about the money you owe me.

It's as easy as that.

- I've never killed anyone before.

I don't know if I can.

It's kind of scary, Duke.

I'm not-

ugh, I'm not feeling it.

- What are you afraid of?

There's nothing to do.

The guy is 75% dead already.

You dig a big hole,

and you throw him in.

You bury him.

Boom, job is done.

- But that's horrible.

- It's horrible for him.

It's not horrible for you.

Hey, come on.

I'm just trying to help you out with

your money problems.

You don't have to do it.

Think about all the equipment

you could buy

to bulk up with.

- What kind of deranged

meeting place is this?

- Don't worry, the police office

is right there.

I just came outside to have a little

fresh air.

Sometimes I take meetings

out here

'cause it's a little depressing inside.

- All right, so...

- I'm sorry.

Show me your breasts.

I want to see your breasts.

- I'm sorry. What?

- This was all a ploy

to get you into my trap.

But don't worry.

I don't have to use this thing,

you know.

All you got to do is take off that top

and show me one breast,

two breast, both breasts.

Wow, I'm sorry.

I just-

I don't know how to react.

- Stop changing the subject and

show me those breasts.

- You can't be serious.

I mean, you just can't be.

This is a joke, right?

Yeah, have a laugh.

But in the meantime,

this is a real f***ing gun.

- What is your problem?

Do you have, like,

issues talking to girls?

Is this, like, your pickup line?

- Stop wasting my f***ing time

with your twisted questions.

What must be done will be done.

And what must be done today is,

you take off that top

and show me those breasts,

'cause this is a real f***ing gun.

What must be done will be done.

And this might not be making

perfect sense,

but it makes sense

up in my f***ing brain.

So do me a favor, drop it.

Let me see the breasts.

- What are you gonna do

if I don't comply?

- I'm gonna put

a f***ing bullet in your head.

You're gonna fall down.

There's gonna be blood everywhere.

I'm gonna walk over with my dirty shoe,

and I'm gonna lift up your shirt,

and then I'll see your breasts.

- Okay.

- It's win-win for me, girl.

- Yeah, I see that.

- What are you doing?

Julia, that's a bad idea.

- I feel really sorry for you, man.

- Get some help, seriously.

- You f***ing b*tch!

Wait!

Show me your breasts!

Ah!

Show me your breasts!

- It's not that

I don't trust you, Bob.

It's just that I love counting these

babies.

I could count this all day,

every day.

- I know.

Take your time counting.

- What are you up to these days?

You been working?

- I just signed with a big studio

to direct a really big movie.

I'm doing okay.

- Cool.

Bravo, man.

That'll be great for my business.

I mean, that is, you could

hook me up with movie stars

loaded with cash.

- It's a numerical movie.

There are no stars.

- A numerical movie.

- Mm-hmm.

- Wow.

I have no idea what that means,

but it sounds awesome and amazing.

- Yeah?

- Linda!

How's my little kitty?

- Good. Are you on your way?

- No, actually,

that's why I'm calling.

You need to tell Donaldson

that I can't won't be

in the office this afternoon.

- Why?

- Well, it's personal.

It's a family matter.

I can't talk about it

on the phone.

- Is it serious?

- Well, yeah, it's serious.

It's serious enough where

I can't come into the office.

- But Donaldson is waiting for you.

- Okay, yeah,

tell Donaldson that, uh,

I have to take care of this guy

who is definitely getting cancer.

- Oh.

- Well, that's what

the doctor said.

The doctor said, "Maybe cancer."

- Hey!

Turn some music on, please.

- Uh, Linda, I have to go.

That is the family member

who may have cancer

who is calling me.

Okay, bye.

Hey, what is the matter with you,

yelling like that?

- The music.

It did me some good...

in your partner's car.

It helped me to think of something else.

Without the music,

it's very difficult.

The pain comes back.

And I really don't feel that well.

Then just put a little music on for me.

That's all I'm asking for.

- Okay, I'll put some music on.

No problem.

Is that better?

Do you like that music?

Hey, is that the kind of music

you like?

Sir?

Hey.

Hey, sir.

Sir.

- What?

- Hey, I've have

an errand to run right now,

so I'll be gone for a while,

no more than five minutes.

Is that okay?

- I have to tell my wife.

She must be worried.

- Okay, we'll talk about that

when I get back,

because now I have an errand

to run.

Now, would you like to listen

to some music

in the meantime or not?

- Oh, yes, please.

- Okay, did you like the music

that I was listening to?

Or would you like something else?

- I don't know.

I can't remember.

- Okay, I'm gonna hurry up.

Don't move.

I am taking this shovel.

Okay, fine.

I'm taking a...

A key chain too, okay?

Hey!

What are you doing with my car?

Get away!

- Nothing.

I was just wondering

why the music was so loud.

That's all.

- So the radio's on.

I don't see what the big deal is.

- Well, normally people

turn their radios off

when they park their cars.

It's kind of strange to leave it on,

don't you think?

- No, I don't.

And normally people walk on their feet.

Don't you think it's a little bit

strange

that you need this thing to

wheel you around?

- Hey, go f*** yourself!

- No, really, you should

just call me whenever you want.

No matter what time it is,

wherever you are, Bob,

I will be there for you.

You're my top-priority client.

You can count on me.

- That's really nice.

- Seriously.

- Okay.

- So do we kiss now

to say good-bye or what?

- Why do you want to kiss me?

- Well, isn't that the way it's done

in the movie world?

- No.

- Everyone kisses everyone?

- No.

- Oh, I thought it was.

- No.

- Maybe it's

a regular cinema thing,

not for numerical movies.

- See ya, Duke.

Thanks, buddy.

Peace out.

- Hey, whatever you like.

Take care, Bob!

- Hey, I'm home.

- Hey, honey.

What are you doing home

so early?

- Well, I just decided

to pop in-

I was in the neighborhood-

and give you a kiss.

- Mwah!

- How's my little bunny?

- We're watching a great movie.

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