Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

Hello?

It's dead out here,

and I'm hating you about now.

- What kind of agent are you?

- You'll find the road.

Kimberly, look, it's 4:00 a. m. In L.A.

Can I go back to sleep?

I was up all night on the red-eye, and

it wasn't first class like you promised.

- Give me credit for the car. Nice ride, huh?

- Yeah, whatever.

By the way, these directions suck.

This project sucks.

- K., it's a great opportunity.

- It's a reality show pilot.

You sang your way to the top seven

the last time you were on TV.

Now you're the star.

You're Kimberly f***ing-Caldwell.

You're the only celebrity

they've got.

If I'm such a celebrity, Tommy,

get me a movie.

"Kimster," your Q score's gonna go way up,

and you'll have a chance to win 90 grand.

- I thought it was a hundred.

- Well, I get 10%, remember?

Wait. There's a turnoff.

Look, I've got power

yoga in, like, two hours.

- Did you find it yet?

- I don't know. There's some old paper mill here.

- But there's nothin' about it on the map.

- Yeah. That's gotta be it.

Look, "Kimbo," you can't afford to make a

wrong turn here. You really don't have the time.

- Why am I here?

'Cause this business is tough.

- You're breaking up.

- Of all my clients, you're the one...

- Hello? Hello?

- With the- factor here-

F***!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Don't be dead.

Don't be dead.

Oh!

Help! Help!

Sh*t!

Anybody!

Don't worry. I'm gonna get you help, okay?

No! No, please! Please! No, don't die!

Come on! Breathe! Breathe!

I'm here. I'm here.

It's the end of the world-

society in chaos,

governments no longer in control.

The world has been devastated by a

catastrophic disaster, but you're still alive.

Overnight, you've been thrust

back into the Stone Age.

Modern conveniences

are a thing of the past.

Would you have the guts to survive?

I am retired Marine Colonel

Dale Murphy.

Welcome to The Apocalypse.

Over the next five days,

these six contestants...

will be put to the ultimate test.

I'm gonna be

the ultimate survivor...

because on my last show I learned

more than anything what it takes to win.

So what's the tattoo?

It's the "infinity" sign,

because I wanna be remembered forever.

My friends call me "Jonesy"...

but "Fearless" is my middle name.

Ow! That sucked, dude.

I told you to shave that ride.

Can we do that again?

Hi. I'm Elena.

I'm like a fox- sexy, sleek...

and I always get what I want.

Nina. I'm a survivor...

because I know there's only

one person I can count on- myself.

I'm Jake.

Three surgeries on my rotator cuff...

destroyed my shot

at a pro football career-

but not my drive to win.

Amber. One tour of duty in Iraq.

They call me "La Conquistadora. "

Enough said. Semper fii.

These six contestants have been thrown

together in a devastated wasteland...

with only the clothes on their backs...

and the will to survive.

Rain or shine, in five days,

only one will remain.

Welcome to The Apocalypse.

Well, what do you think, man?

We spent all last night cutting it.

- Brando, eat your heart out.

- You're the real deal, Dale.

That's why the network loves you.

- It rocks, M.

- Damn straight.

We're goin' to series for sure.

Ah! Today's a good day to die.

Where's my producer?

- It's brilliant, Michael. Really.

- Thank you.

I still don't see what makes this show any

different from that other survivor show.

I don't watch television.

It's supposed to take place at the end of

the world. That's what makes it different.

You're not on some summer resort

trying to make alliances.

You're trying to be the last man standing

after the apocalypse.

- It's killer- Middle America

family entertainment, mate. - Booyah.

- That's damn right.

- I'm so there, dude.

- No.

- I plan on being the last woman standing.

Chill, "Ramba. "

The prize money's gonna be mine.

Oh, you two girls could

mud wrestle for it.

- Be ratings gold.

- Ew.

- You're stupid, man.

- I am tappin' that.

Hey, it's the parrot heads.

Nice shirts, boys.

Yeah, make fun all you want.

But while you Hollywood freaks

are out here sleepin' on rocks...

us parrot heads will be in Margaritaville

back at the hotel.

The woods are all wired up-

Oh, you the man, Wojo. Just make sure

everything's copacetic with Neil, okay?

Yeah. See ya in five days.

Enjoy the great outdoors, Tarantino.

Nice.

I could help you spread it

on all those hard-to-reach places.

If I hadn't seen you eat sh*t at the X

Games lastJune, maybe you'd stand a chance.

If I hadn't seen you eat sh*t at the X

Games lastJune, maybe you'd stand a chance.

Hey, I made the street comp finals.

Okay. Here's a clue.

I only give it up to winners-

not guys who choke.

I'll give you something to choke on.

I wish I had abs like yours.

I do 200 of these a day.

I guess I'll just stick to my

low-carb diet and hope for the best.

- Mara, where the hell's Kimberly?

- Still no answer.

Goddamn it. I knew that prima donna

was a problem when we cast her.

Yeah, but she's got

those Angelina Jolie lips.

You know what

I'm talkin' about, don't you?

- Hello, papa.

- It's gonna be a long five days.

We can't wait any longer.

I gotta shoot, like, now.

You're the producer, Pop-Tart.

That's why you make the big bucks.

- What are we gonna do?

- Um, well, we can't recast.

- We're just gonna have to go with five.

- Whoa, whoa. No, wrong.

You know the show. All I have to do is shoot

your character intro, and we're good to go.

- No, I don't think so.

- What other choice do we have?

Um.

Okay, yeah. What the hell?

That's it!

Show 'em what you're made of.

All right, boys and girls,

listen up!

We have a half-mile hike

to the survivalist camp.

Let's go!

It's time to move out!

All right. Everybody grab your gear,

and let's get going.

- This is it.

- Hey, Michael.

You know I'm a complete geek

without my BlackBerry and my cell.

There's a good chance

I'll be the first to go.

Come on. Just change your clothes,

put on some bug spray.

You'll be great,

even without your "CrackBerry. "

Okay. I'll do it for you.

But, um, now, Mara.

It's M. Now, not Michael.

- Yes, I know. Okay. Sorry.

- Right.

God, who am I kidding?

Okay. We're movin' out.

You're all alone out here,

so let's close ranks and stick together.

Hey, everyone's leavin'-

Hello? Hey.

Everyone's leaving.

- What?

- We're about to start the game. It's time to go.

Hi. I'm Jake.

You're Nina, right?

Look, I'm just here for the money,

not to make friends, okay?

Wow. Okay. Fair enough.

Oh. Nina. Nina.

I saw you drop this

while you were getting out of the R.V.

- Now, M. Said, "No food. "

- Oh, well, I'm vegan.

That might be the only thing

I can eat out here.

Well, you can always go chew on a tree.

This is cheating.

- Sue me. Give it back.

- Uh-uh.

I would have, but... since there's

no need to be makin' friends-

Mmm!

That's good.

All right, everybody. Ready?

And action, Dale.

You cannot survive

the apocalypse alone.

So you make friendships,

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