Wyvern

---

- Ah!

(sucking in breath)

Jeez.

Oh, man.

Idiot.

You big, dumb...

That's not too bad.

Holy Mary, Mother of God!

(roaring)

(roaring)

Ah! Ahhh!!

(screaming)

(screams ending abruptly)

- Good morning, Beaver Mills.

It's 8:
37 a.m.

and I'm proud to say

we are all short-timers

at this point.

We made it

without completely losing

what marbles we had left

to begin with.

Yes, you're hearing me right.

Less than two days left

of the midnight sun.

For all of you sleep-deprived

insomniacs out there,

try a cup of fireweed tea

before you go to bed tonight.

And here's a little reminder

to all you B. Mills townies:

tomorrow

is the annual Solstice Festival,

a char-broiled two days

of tasty carcass,

games of chance,

and tests of skill

to count down the hours

before that glorious time

we call the "magic hour."

So today, remember,

keep sane

and don't lose your cool.

For all those registered

for the barbecue,

it starts at 12:
00 noon.

Farley, that includes you.

12:
00 noon,

no earlier.

2:
00 p.m. is the chainsaw rally

and you have to be

at least 10 years old

or four feet tall to enter.

(country-rock music)

Sun rises on another day

It's the same

as the days before

There's torn pictures

and there's pale grey

Pieces of me and you

Strewn across the floor

- Hey, Farley, who's winning?

- Me.

- All right, here we go.

We got two Denver omelets,

one over-easy;

three orange juice,

and two coffee.

Would you like cream?

- Uh-huh. He could put cream

in my coffee any day.

- Come on, Susie,

the sheriff's waiting.

Don't let the food get cold.

- But we only ordered

two coffees.

You have three.

- Oh, this one's for Jake.

- Oh, I'll take it to him.

- No, I, um, I...

I think I can handle it.

- Oh, the new guy's

getting the royal treatment

- Be easy on him, Susie.

He lost his brother

a few months back.

- I'm sure that's why

you're being extra-nice to him.

What a Good Samaritan

you are.

(laughter)

- Well,

I do what I can.

- Ah...

Isn't he a breath of fresh air

around here--

- Okay,

come on, Suse, get out.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Here you go.

Tell the sheriff I said hi.

- Yeah.

- All right, ladies...

- Watch your step.

- I was hoping you would.

(wincing)

- Hand still bothering you?

- Nah, hand's fine, Doc.

- You're too young

for arthritis, Jake.

Hey, you wanna know

what I think?

- No.

(chuckling)

- I think you messed

your hand up real good

in that accident.

Hairline fracture

of the metacarpal,

maybe even carpal.

Dunno why you won't come in,

let me take a look at it.

- My hand's fine.

- You're real lucky you walked

away from that accident

with a broken hand

and a bad ankle.

When your insurance money

comes in and you get your truck,

get someone

to look at that hand.

- Like I said, my hand's fine.

- Everybody's a tough guy.

Claire.

Thanks, hon.

- David.

Didn't you just leave?

- Yeah.

Hey, can I talk to you a second?

- Sure.

- Look, I've got a conference

in Fairbanks next weekend.

I can bring someone.

It'd be a fun weekend.

I was thinking--

- Sorry, I can't.

- You told me that last year,

Claire.

I'm gonna start

to take this personal.

- Doc, I gotta go on a hunt,

but Thomas wanted you

to drop by his place,

take a look at our minks.

They've got a skin rash.

Sheddin' off like piggies

in a meat market.

- Okay, first off, Hass,

pigs don't shed.

And secondly, I'm a doctor,

not a veterinarian.

- What's eatin' him?

It's only a metaphor!

Thanks, Claire.

I'll see you at lunch.

- Of course, Hass.

Ahem.

Well, you know,

I had a coffee for you and...

- Don't worry about it.

- Okay.

- He's persistent.

- Yes, he certainly is.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yes.

- What's wrong with him?

He seems like he'd be the...

cream of the crop in this, uh--

- Oh, in this backwards town

of offbeat sourdoughs?

You know,

we're not all funny in the head.

Mind you, after 80-odd days

without night,

even the best of us,

we get a little of the crazies.

- Yeah. What's Travis's excuse?

- The colonel?

Oh, you got me there.

Someone took the rhubarb

straight out of that man's pie.

(chuckling)

- Thanks, Claire.

- See you.

Why don't you come in

and let me fix you up

something to eat?

- Uh... no,

I really should finish...

- Oh, come on, Jake.

I mean, you're fixing my stairs

for free.

It's the least I can do.

Besides,

you look like you could use

some good old-fashioned

northern hospitality.

- Hmm.

- L.T.?

(whistling)

L.T.!

Damn!

Ah, hot damn!

- Just have a seat.

I'll be right with you.

- Thanks.

(speaking softly)

- Coffee refills all around

for the ladies?

- Oh, thanks, Claire.

This is our last motion.

Motion passed.

And the Women's League

annual solstice meeting

is adjourned.

All proceeds

from tomorrow's barbecue

go to... Beaver Pelt Cafe

restoration fund.

- Thank you, Edna.

And thank you,

Maggie, of course.

I mean,

you ladies, you're so generous.

Are you finished?

- Yes, we are.

- All right, let me get this

out of the way.

And breakfast is on the house.

I don't wanna hear it.

- Okay.

- Here you are, Farley.

The usual.

- I only tolerate her behaviour

this time of year

because of this.

It gets worse this time of year.

- That's funny coming from a guy

who plays checkers with himself.

- The food's cold.

- Food's free, Farley.

You want it hot,

you gotta pay for it.

(sighing)

Let's get you some coffee.

- Thanks. Um...

... what exactly is the deal

with Edna?

- She's talking

to her best friend, Maggie,

who passed away last year.

And...

she hasn't quite accepted it.

So we're just supporting her

until she gets through it.

- Thanks again.

- See you.

So, Jake,

you've been in town for a while.

How long are you...

planning on staying here?

- Uh... not sure.

Depends on my insurance claim.

- Why wouldn't it go through?

(stammering)

Wow, that was really nosy!

Sorry. You probably

don't wanna talk about it.

- It's fine.

- And I just wanted to say

that I'm really sorry

about what happened

to your brother.

- Um...

I'm gonna keep on working

on the steps.

- Right.

Sure. I'll just bring

some food out

to you, then.

- Much appreciated.

- Okay.

(whispering):
Claire,

you are such an idiot.

Um...

- Could we get some menus,

please?

- Ahem.

I'll be right with you guys.

And I've seen you go

And now I miss you

like no one

Like no one before

- This just in:
Colonel Travis

sends his regards

to the goons who dropped off

a present in his hot tub.

Not funny, not cool at all.

He only asked that if you took

his lovable mutt L.T.,

please return him.

It looks like this year's

festival shenanigans

are starting early,

with a moose head

in a hot tub.

Here's a heartbreaking,

soul-searching country tune

dedicated to the colonel.

(slow harmonica music)

- Help you, Doc?

- Well, call it a heart

or call it my Hippocratic oath,

I just can't stand

to see a man in pain.

I'm gonna take a look

at that hand of yours, Jake.

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