Xi you xiang mo pian Page #4

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Shh... I'm a humble guy.

It's such a burden to be so handsome.

You ugly people couldn't possibly understand.

Forget the drink then, let's just get a room.

I'm not available.

Boss!

Leave me alone!

Miss, do you have time for a drink?

Sir? Do you have time?

Well, I've never dated a man before...

this is my first time.

So be gentle.

I'll try.

Five Fingers Mountain Starting Point

Five Fingers Mountain Starting Point

At the foot of Five Fingers Mountain,

look for an old temple.

In front of it is a Buddha statue...

...13,000 feet high and 2,560 feet wide.

The Monkey King is there.

Water Reflection Mirror

Get off me!!

I'm here to find the Monkey King.

I... I...

Monkey King... I'm the Monkey King!

You're the Monkey King?!

Sun Wukong, the Monkey King.

Mr. Sun, I'm so honored to meet you.

I'm Chen Xuan Zang.

Mr. Chen! Mr. Sun!

Mr. Chen!

You're finally here... after 500 years!

No, Mr. Sun!

Sorry, I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Sit... sit, sit!

Mr. Chen, how handsome you are!

You, too, Mr. Sun!

According to the legend...

...you seem just a little bit... different.

Here's the story...

500 years ago,

I was an ordinary monkey.

I had a tiny disagreement with Buddha...

...and he used the Buddha Sutra...

...to blast me down here!

But I recognized that I was at fault,

so I locked myself up in this tiny little hole

and for 500 years I've never left once.

I've just...

...studied and studied the Buddha Sutra.

Look at me.

I've already dissolved

the demon spirit within me

and expelled it from my body.

I've even lost my demonic look.

So now within me, all that remains is

...truth, goodness and beauty.

So the Buddha Sutra is good,

great and amazing!

Actually, Mr. Sun, I've come here to

discuss another important matter with you.

Please go ahead.

Please teach me a way

to tame the Pig Demon.

KL Hog?

Yes, he's evil and has killed so many people.

No one has a clue what to do.

There is, in fact, a way...

Come...

This seal is the Holy Fire Spell.

I brought it down from heaven.

It can destroy all demons and monsters.

But I don't want to kill him.

I just want to awaken his inner truth,

goodness and beauty.

Right... didn't I just say that?

Its primary function is just that...

to awaken truth, goodness and beauty.

Oh no... it's too precious!

Not at all, it's only worth a few bucks!

But still... I can't.

Take it, I insist.

I said it's a gift... just take it!

Mr. Sun,

is this the seal Buddha used to suppress you?

By refusing my gift, you've offended me!

Don't you know who I am?

You know the

13 Gangsters of Flower Fruit Mountain?

I'm Number One!

In those days, I had a cleaver in each hand...

...from South Heaven Gate

to Penglai East Road...

...chopping back and forth

for three days and three nights...

...blood flowed like a river...

...just chopping up and down...

...without blinking an eye!

Didn't your eyes get dry...

...from not blinking for so long?

What?! Does it really matter

if they're dry or not?!

What does that have to do with anything?!

I was just curious.

Do you get the point?!!

Was I talking about my dry eyes?!!

I was just wondering...

...such a long time without blinking.

Don't freaking talk to me

about my eyes getting dry or not!!

Damn it!

Mr. Sun, please calm down!

I didn't mean it like that!

I meant I killed without so much as a blink.

And all you're concern about is my dry eyes?!

Fine, I'll show you!

Damn it!

Are they dry?!

Are they? Are they dry?!

Are they?

Can you see?!

Can you see?!

Yes.

What else have you got?

Bring them all out!

Let me smash them all for you!

Take them out!

That's why I can't speak sensibly

with you young people!

You ask to borrow something.

No problem... I'll lend it to you.

Mr. Sun...

I'm fine now, thanks.

Young people nowadays have no appreciation.

Where's the gratitude and respect?

Mr. Sun, you want it?

Don't interrupt!

You want to eat it? Open it yourself!

I don't want to eat it.

You told me to bring it out for you to smash!

Oh my goodness!

Let me out of here!

It's been 500 years!

How much longer do you

want to keep me trapped here?!

I've changed...

...done the enlightenment thing...

Buddha, why won't you believe me?!

You ask Buddha why he doesn't believe you?

But do you believe in him?

If you did in fact experience enlightenment,

he'll be even

He would never give up on you.

You're saying

I didn't really experience enlightenment?

Let it go. That's not the point.

If you just do goodness with all your heart,

you'll reap the rewards.

Help me tame the Pig Demon

to show you're doing good.

It's your chance to fight evil

and give back to society.

You want my help? Impossible!

Do you know how hard

these 500 years have been?

I haven't had a single bite

of my favorite food, bananas!

You want to get the Pig Demon. Lure him here.

Though he was hurt

by his wife and her lover...

...he still loves his wife deeply.

He always liked to watched

her dance in the moonlight.

He even wrote a song

for her to show his love.

So it's simple.

Get a pretty girl...

...to sing and dance

to that song under the full moon.

And the Pig Demon will naturally show up.

And then?

And then leave the rest to me.

What are you doing?

Mr. Sun, what do you think about me

dressing up as a woman?

Mr. Chen, stop embarrassing yourself.

Oh, sorry. Excuse me.

It's only just a banana.

Why are you still following me?

Because I'm worried about you.

I was up there when I heard

you say you needed my help.

So I came down.

Who said we needed your help?

Didn't you just say you needed a pretty girl?

Go away! This is serious stuff.

Sorry, Mr. Sun!

A pretty girl!

You know just what to say.

I've always been this way...

I say what I think.

You're making me blush!

You look even nicer that way!

How about you stop saying what you think?

He offended you just now!

Let me apologize for him with this gift.

Oh no, I can't accept. That's too much.

Give me a chance.

We don't even know each other well.

All good friends begin as strangers.

Mr. Sun, keep this up and I'll leave!

If you leave, what will I do?

You're naughty! We're not alone here!

Who else is here?

Fine... let's go catch the Pig Demon!

Miss, you just said you wanted

to help us lure the demon.

Can you dance?

I only know one dance.

Good!

Step.

Step.

Step.

Down.

Up.

Up.

Come on!

Try it!

Lift your butt a bit.

Quite good.

Miss, your dancing's really good!

Not at all!

Not as good as you!

You're really good!

Really!

So may I go up and lure the Pig Demon now?

Good! Really Good!

This guy looks really familiar.

My love is gone, she'll never return.

I silently mourn my lost love.

Though flowers wither, they'll bloom again.

My long-lost love is beyond the clouds.

Unrequited love fills my heart with sorrow.

In our lives we can't change our destiny.

Once we're parted, we can love no more.

Could this be the fate heaven planned for me?

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