xXx: Return of Xander Cage Page #2

Ainsley, everything has a price.

Now, if you don't think you can pull it off,

if you lost your edge,

just tell me and I'll understand.

You wanna know what it is, Cage?

What?

I used to think you were the man.

But now, I don't know, maybe I feel

like you're just working for him.

Come on.

Nobody knows I'm here.

And you know how I am about keeping secrets.

So you say, but Interpol's

got these new listening bugs.

They're practically invisible.

Real MI6 kind of sh*t.

Disappear on your skin, under your arms,

tied around your balls like a Christmas bow.

Unwrap me, then.

You know, studies have proven that

sexual consummation irrevocably ruins

nine out of 10 relationships.

Lucky for me, you love to gamble.

Of course...

...not.

My friends, on the other hand,

adore stiff odds.

Stiff odds?

Hmm.

The things I do for my country.

Like finding needles in a stack of needles.

Even though you're shackled by the Queen,

you're still the best in the world.

Thank you.

Do yourself a favor. Burn this.

The whispers I hear, these ghosts

of yours are the real kind of trouble.

They've got training, they've got funding,

and they've got no problem running over

anyone who gets in their way.

Okay, so, you're worried

that I might get hurt?

I'm worried you might get dead.

You know, I'm touched that you

can imagine a world without me in it.

It'll be a little less fun.

That's all I'm saying.

Your ghosts are hanging out

in the Philippines.

Figures they'd go to the Pacific.

Some jungle rave that's off the grid.

How the hell did you find it so quickly?

Undercover work.

Where is it?

What did you do with Pandora's Box?

It's in a safe place.

That wasn't a part of the plan.

After all these years,

you're still shocked when I improvise?

No. But the mission was to destroy it.

Turns out there's a new mission.

I'm not gonna destroy the one thing

I can use to get what we want.

The whole world is looking for us, Xiang.

Let them come!

You worry about pawn sacrifice.

I got my eye on the king.

That's the problem.

You forgot the queen.

After your success taking down Anarchy 99,

Gibbons was handed a blank check.

Which is the long way of saying

he got you a new ride.

World went and got an upgrade

since you died, Cage.

Onboard drones, anti-air countermeasures,

and fuel tanks big enough

to circumnavigate the globe

three times without ever landing.

You can check your coat.

I promise you, no one would dare steal it.

I can't guarantee

it won't walk off on its own.

Wheels up in 10, boys!

Which means you're already

seven minutes behind.

Is she always this much fun,

or just on special occasions?

Wow.

No wonder our country's

in debt trillions of dollars.

Do you really need all these gadgets

to get the bad guys?

Oh, we don't need any of it.

But it makes the catching

a hell of a lot more fun.

Hmm.

Xander Cage. Holy sh*t!

Live and in concert, one night only.

This is crazy!

I was at Coachella

and Guns N' Roses got back together,

but this is way cooler.

Well, I wasn't actually there,

but I, like, heard about it, you know?

I'm still talking. Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, it's like a bad habit.

I get started and then

I can't stop and then I can't...

Breathe.

Take your time.

I know mouth-to-mouth if necessary.

Wow.

Wow! Are you kidding me with those guns?

You're like the frickin' Terminator!

And I'm not talking

about the first Terminator,

but the second Terminator

that goes back to kill the first Terminator.

It was the liquidy metal guy.

Agent Clearidge worked closely with Gibbons.

She'll handle support for the operation.

And I bet a guy like you

needs a lot of support.

What are you? Like 220? 230?

Be honest. 250 is the hard max for my swing.

- Oh, come on.

- I'm kidding.

It's not like I have a safe word,

or anything. It's "kumquat. "

Never really think about it.

Kumquat.

What about you?

No. "Safe" isn't in my vocabulary.

Touche. You are Xander Cage.

Anything you need,

Becky can source it within the hour.

Except for any sort of illegal drugs.

Those, I'll have within 15 minutes.

Kidding.

But if you need a fifty of Purple Urkle,

I am not the girl to ask.

Okay, Cage, follow me.

I'll introduce you to your ground team.

- Thank you, Becky.

- Of course.

Kumquat.

Hey, here comes the Red Bull freak show.

Xander Cage, I want you to meet Paul...

Donovan.

Captain Paul Donovan.

I know you. I saw you on TV!

The President gave him a medal.

That must have been pretty cool, right?

You guys must have some

seriously cool stories to tell.

Must've seen a lot.

I wonder, how many of you have ever pulled

a freestyle triple backflip

on a BMX bike before? All of you?

No. We don't play on bikes.

Oh, you don't play on bikes.

Any of you ever carve an R4

on a snowboard

while an avalanche is on your booty?

We're soldiers, hotshot. Not slackers.

Okay, but you all have

HALO jumped over Eastern Europe

using a standard-issue armor

deployment parachute system.

Am I right?

No. We're not all jacked up on

Mountain Dew and Red Bull, you a**hole.

Where'd you find this guy?

Well, there's a first time for everything.

What did you just do?

I can't believe this sh*t.

I'm not gonna have clowns watch my back.

I know I'm gonna regret asking you this,

but who would you trust?

You know, no one has this number.

So, what are you up to these days?

Me?

I'm evening the odds.

Move in, move in!

Show me your hands!

Get on the car, now!

It was like that when I got here.

Nobody gets in unless you're an

X- Game participant! You hear me?

That guy got through.

Hey, get back here!

Wassup, Nyjah?

Lightningbolt and Burrito.

Chad, wassup, bro?

Roberta. I'll see you later.

Show him the love! Give it up for The Hood!

The good, the bad, the extreme,

and the completely insane.

Now, this is a team I can work with.

I'll make this easy for you.

These four a**holes, very bad guys.

Pandora's Box, very bad thing.

We'll land in Manila and you will requisition

your own transportation to the island.

Yo, why don't we just nuke this b*tch

from orbit and call it a day?

Pandora's Box is one of a kind.

It needs to be recovered intact.

Why? What's it do?

- Brainwave scrambler?

- It killed Gibbons.

All you need to know. The rest is classified.

Brainwave scrambler.

You smell that?

Smells like the same sh*t

in a different suit.

You think a dog knows how to work a Frisbee?

Master says, "Fetch," and the b*tch listens.

You would look so sexy

with a Frisbee in that mouth.

Oh, sweetheart, this is not a game.

You are all my soldiers now.

I'm not a soldier, I'm a baller.

- Do we look like soldiers?

- Oh, hell, no.

I dropped your soldiers over Eastern Europe.

So, why did you leave Lassie behind?

This is my operation! You will listen to me.

Meeting's over.

Well, other than that,

Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Oh, hey, that's super-cinch body armor.

You've got to tighten the strap...

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