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XXX Page #7
XANDER:
(choking)
No.
Gibbons releases his grip.
GIBBONS:
I thought you might see it my way.
Then Xander starts walking away.
GIBBONS:
Where you going, X? I said where you
going?
The Black Ops guys grab weapons, ready to stop him.
XANDER:
You tell me.
Xander climbs up the steps of the Gulfstream.
XANDER:
There better be a movie on this Goddam
flight.
INT. GULFSTREAM - DAY
Xander sits with Gibbons in big leather chairs. They are
surrounded by NSA AGENTS in suits.
A NERDY AGENT snaps an ANKLET around Xander's ankle.
XANDER:
How about a pedicure as long as you're
down there. What's this? Lo-Jack?
GIBBONS:
Wherever you go on the planet, I'll
find you. There's no quitting. If
you try to take it off, a ring of
needles will inject enough curare
into your bloodstream to kill you
before you hit the ground. Is all
that clear?
XANDER:
Yeah, I spy or I die.
INT. EMPTY FIRST CLASS LOUNGE - SUNSET
Orange light floods this beautiful airline lounge. There's a
fully stocked bar, a snack table, all unused. That's because
it's been sealed off for NSA use. (NOTE: perfect product
placement opportunity for an AIRLINE).
Xander, Gibbons and his Men are all silhouetted against the
smoked glass windows.
The Nerdy Agent hands Xander a Palm Pilot sized ELECTRONIC
DEVICE.
NERDY AGENT:
This is your communicator. You'll
identify yourself by a call sign.
From here on out you're Bulldog Omega
5.
XANDER:
You must stay up late to come up
with sh*t like that.
GIBBONS:
I expect you to call in regularly
with progress reports.
XANDER:
Fine, but I'm not gonna be no Bulldog
Omega 5.
Gibbons checks his watch. They get up and start walking.
INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL - SUNSET
The phalanx of Agents surrounds Xander and Gibbons as they
walk to the gate. The Nerdy Agent hurries to catch up.
AGENT:
Uh... Call signs derive from the
parameters of the mission.
GIBBONS:
If he doesn't like it, we can make
an exception just this once. We'll
call him "Triple X".
They walk past the gate, down the jet-way, the Agents FLASH
BADGES to the GATE WORKERS.
XANDER:
Up yours.
GIBBONS:
Crude and defiant as always, Triple
X. It fits so well because you're
obscene.
Xander is the last one to board the plane.
XANDER:
Is that all?
GIBBONS:
Just remember, I'll be watching.
As the door closes, he looks back at Gibbons and his phalanx
of Agents.
XANDER:
I've got something for you to chew
on. Next time you send someone to
save the world, make sure they like
the planet the way it is.
The jet's door CLOSES.
INT. COMMERCIAL JET - NIGHT
Xander is in the last row against the bulkhead. He's got a
personal DVD player and headphones and he's reviewing his
mission. The high-tech screen shows photos, maps, cool
graphics.
The KID sitting across the aisle leans over for a look.
KID:
What game is that?
XANDER:
Slick graphics, huh? See these dudes?
They're called "Anarchy 99", they're
the bad guy bosses.
KID:
Do they have any special powers? The
bosses always have special powers.
XANDER:
You wanna check it out? Come here.
The kid moves to the seat next to Xander.
Onscreen see photos of the FIVE BAD GUYS from the opening
sequence. We DIVE IN to the computer as Xander describes
them.
For each of the baddies, we'll see 3-D PHOTOS and VIDEO CLIPS,
all enhanced with COMPUTER GRAPHICS and POP-UP MENUS.
XANDER:
First we've got Anders, the psycho
looking biker. In charge of
transportation and smuggling. Controls
every trucking union in Eastern
Europe. Don't look too clean, either.
We see ANDERS, the wild-eyed and unclean Swedish biker,
against a backdrop of MOTORCYCLES and MUSCLE CARS.
XANDER:
Next we got a Siberian redneck,
Viktor. Into snowmobiles and
snowboarding. So naturally, he covers
prostitution and the drug trade.
KID:
Naturally.
We see Viktor, with the goatee and belly, doing some hairy
snowboarding.
KID:
This guy's kinda dorky lookin'.
XANDER:
Kirill, the sniper. Looks like a
bookworm, but he had 72 confirmed
kills in Chechnya, they called him
the "Finger of God". Assassination
and weapons.
We see Kirill in UNIFORM with his well used SNIPER RIFLE.
KID:
Who's the hottie?
He indicates Petra, the tough gangster chick. With her LEATHER
and TATTOOS she looks like she could mop up the floor with
Lara Croft.
XANDER:
You like her, huh? Petra. She runs
their finances, money laundering,
computers. Joined the gang after
spending some time as the girlfriend
of this dude, Yorgi Azar Zimin. Capo
of Anarchy 99.
Finally we see YORGI, the unlikely looking Mafiya Don. We
see CRIME SCENE PHOTOS that illustrate his exploits.
XANDER:
Yorgi masterminded the take-over of
three Red Mafiya clans. Cops called
it "blood week". He combined all of
their global enterprises into one
huge crime syndicate: Anarchy 99.
KID:
(skeptically)
"Anarchy" 99"?
XANDER:
What are you gonna do? They're Euro-
trash.
KID:
What weapons do you have?
Xander clicks on "INVENTORY". He scrolls through a staggering
array of WEAPONS and VEHICLES.
XANDER:
Just about anything I want, it looks
like. This is gonna be tough, though.
There's no way to save this game. I
gotta get it right the first time
through.
KID:
What do you get if you finish?
XANDER:
Nothing, really. My guy is just doing
it to stay alive.
KID:
Oh. I bet by the end he gets something
out of it.
XANDER:
Like what?
KID:
He gets to be the hero.
The Kid's mom calls him back to his seat. Xander looks at
the kid, then gets back to his research.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PRAGUE - DAY
We CRANE UP from the COBBLESTONE STREET as a BEAT-UP CAR
races by. We rise up, revealing PRAGUE in all it's glory.
INT. BEAT-UP CAR - MOVING
Xander sits in the back, wedged between TWO IDENTICAL LOOKING
TOUGH GUYS. If you were to call Central Casting and ask for
a couple of cold war spy types, this is what they'd send.
They're both 6' 4", have sloppily cut hair, square jaws,
wrinkled overcoats.
XANDER:
This is bullshit, man, I wanna see
some ID.
The two tough guys flash their COP ID's. Xander studies them.
"IVAN PEDGRAG" and "IVAN PODROV".
XANDER:
You're both named Ivan? That's gotta
be confusing on Valentine's Day. So
where we headed? Fellas, I said where
we headed?
(beat)
Yeah, whatever.
He looks out the window, sees a GRAND HOTEL. They drive right
on by.
EXT. DIRTY APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
It's a crumbling old dump in a nasty part of town. Xander
shakes his head.
XANDER:
James Bond never had to put up with
this sh*t.
Ivan 1 pulls Xander's gear bag from the trunk and throws it
on the sidewalk.
Xander picks it up and carries it into the building.
Dumpy furniture, roaches, cracked windows. Xander is ushered
in. There's another GUY in a UGLY SUIT waiting. He is
DETECTIVE MILAN SLOVO.
SLOVO:
Sit down.
XANDER:
I've been on a plane for twelve hours,
I think I'll stand.
Ivan 1 shoves him into a chair.
SLOVO:
My name is Slovo, Czech secret police.
When you are here you are under my
jurisdiction, you take my orders,
you do what I say. If you become any
kind of an inconvenience, I'll shoot
you.
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