Yes Man

Unknown caller

No.

No, means No.

Bonjour.

- Carl, I know it's you

Oh, hey man

I had your number dialed and was about to press send.

Did you block your number?

Yeah, I did.

You never answer when I don't.

So, what are you doing?

Oh, just hanging out in my apartment.

You did get my text right?

What? Text, what?

We're all going out tonight.

- Oh, man that sounds great. I wish I could join you.

I'm just so jammed up.

I'm totally off the grid. Know what I mean?

Uh, no I don't at all.

I have a bunch of stuff going on.

There's this thing I gotta do.

Any other night would have been great.

Darn it to heck!

Thing? What thing?

- A thing. You know? Just a thing.

If I had my thing in front of me I could

tell you what it is, but... I know there's a thing.

A thing, huh? I don't think there's anything

written down in your fake calendar.

No, it's a specific thing.

A specific thing,

like getting in line at the video store?

What are you talking about?

I'm not at the video store.

I'm in my apartment.

I can see you Carl.

I'm outside the video store.

That's not me.

- It's not?

Oh, I know what's happening.

There's this guy who looks just like me,

who goes to a lot of the same video stores

That's probably who you are seeing right now.

Wow, that's amazing, because his mouth

is moving in exact sync with what you're saying.

Carl, I know you are not saying anything.

Carl, get outside.

I know you are not talking.

- What?

Carl!

- Alright.

Look who's here.

Wow.

I don't believe it,

Carl Allen.

Never thought I'd see the day, my man.

I thought you had hung up

your spurs you old cowboy.

No, I just got a lot of stuff going on.

Some things I gotta do.

Issues pending. They keep me pretty busy.

Yes, I hear you buddy.

So, we are really excited for you to be here Carl,

because we have an announcement to make.

Honey, show'em.

Oh! There it is. Deal with it!

We are engaged.

That is a big step, huh?

- Yeah it's a big step.

Moving fast. That's okay.

What has it been? Six months?

No.

- Two years.

Oh, yeah, that's about right then.

So, anyway, we are going to have an

engagement party on the 21st. Open bar.

Oh, you bastard. Always knows how to get me.

Carl, does that work for you?

Yeah, we'll figure it out.

What's there to figure out?

Oh God, look who's here.

- I'm not falling for that Carl. what's to figure out?

Carl it's open bar. What's the problem?

- I'm serious. Stephanie's at the bar.

The Stephanie?

- Yes, my ex. She's at the bar.

Oh God, that is Stephanie.

Looks like she's with someone there too.

- Yeah, they seem to be thriving. Good for her.

Oh look, they're touching each other's genitals.

Isn't that amazing?

I'm so glad I came out.

OK, you know what? I gotta go.

- No, Carl, you're going to stay.

It's been three years. You can't leave every time...

- It's totally unrelated.

It has nothing to do with Stephanie ...

- Carl.

Peter

Stephanie, guys.

- Hey

This is my boyfriend, Ted.

I don't believe we've....

- No, I don't believe we have.

You're leaving?

- Yeah, unfortunately.

Terrible timing too, because you just got here.

You just got here too, Carl.

Yes, but he's got a thing.

- Yeah, that's a thing. There's a thing and uh...

There's no time. There's a time crunch,

and time is of the essence.

Anyway, I am gone-a-rea.

Wow, that didn't sound quite right..

Oh well. - Woah!

See you, guys.

Hi, Tillie.

- Good morning, Carl.

Would you like to come over for breakfast?

- That sounds great, but I can't.

Some cereal, a yogurt, or something?

- Yes, I know.

How about some toast?

- I have to go to work, but thanks.

A good show tonight.

Come check us out.

Hey man, want to rock out tonight?

Oh, it's you. Let me guess, no?

- Yes

Yes?

- No, I meant 'yes' to your 'no'.

Oh, yeah, fine.

Persianwifefinder.com

No, thank you.

Costume party?

- Yea... No.

Oh boy.

Here we go.

Carl Allen has reported for duty?

I'm not a soldier, Norman.

You are a soldier

on the front line of finance.

Norman - Line 1.

You want to get that in the privacy of your office?

- No, I'll just get it here.

You're with Norman.

Are you sure, because ...

Ok.

Whatever you say.

Remember that promotion we were talking about?

Yeah.

That's not going to happen.

I tried to fight for you

on the phone there.

It was between you and

Demco and they went with Demco.

I don't care.

I didn't really want the job badly.

I just figured after 5 years I'd be the

logical choice, but whatever.

Well hey, look at it this way.

At least you didn't get shitcanned.

You know what that means?

- Fired?

Oh, how did you know what that means?

You heard me say that before?

No, it's a pretty common expression.

In my circles. I made it up.

It is catching on.

This will cheer you up

I'm having a get-together at my place.

It's a funny hat and/or wig party.

Oh, man!

Sucks I'm going to be out of town.

You don't know what day it is.

- When is it?

Friday.

- I'm out of town.

You spoke at the same time I did.

It was almost as if you were committed to what

you said regardless of what I was going to say.

Hmmm?

I admit business has been slow.

I mean, there's a lot less demand

for a small rollerblade shop,

what with Big 5 and Sport's Chalet,

but my designs are going to

revolutionize the roller industry

I know Marv,

but you have no equity.

And your credit ...

- It's bad

but I don't want to sound desperate.

I have no other options left

Rejected.

Unknown caller

- Ignore.

Carl. Hey, long time no see.

Nick Lane?

Hey

You don't still work at the bank, do you?

Yeah, kind of why I'm sitting outside here,

eating lunch, wearing the name tag.

You must be running this place by now.

I could have been. I had a couple offers.

I didn't want to get tied down.

How is Stephanie?

- Good God!

She's good.

What have you been doing?

- I've been all over the map man.

I have lived.

I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro.

I ate a bat in Laos.

I shot a cow with a bazooka.

I'm not proud of that last one,

but I did it, man.

Wow, that sounds wild.

- You want to know my secret?

I'm a Yes Man.

The word "Yes" has changed my life. Here.

- No, thanks. I'm fine.

Fine? I wipe my ass with Fine.

- Wow. Okay.

You don't want to work here Carl.

- Yeah I do.

No, you don't.

Why don't you take this rock and throw it

at that bank & shatter the window the window?

No, thanks.

- Ask me if I want to do.

Do you want to throw that rock at the bank?

- Yes

Are you crazy?

- Go to this reunion, Carl.

Stay where you are.

Carl, live your life.

You won't regret it.

The word "Yes" has changed my life. Here.

- No, thanks. I'm fine.

'Fine'? I wipe my ass with 'Fine'.

- Wow. Okay.

You don't want to work here Carl.

- Yeah I do.

No, you don't.

Why don't you take this rock and throw it

at that bank & shatter the window the window?

No, thanks.

- Ask me if I want to do.

Do you want to throw that rock at the bank?

- Yes

Are you crazy?

- Go to this reunion, Carl.

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