Yes Man Page #2

Stay where you are.

Carl, live your life.

You won't regret it!

Unknown caller.

Ignore.

You wanna see my band?

- No.

Sorry.

Declined.

Stephanie?

- Carl.

Yeah, it's me.

I just felt like calling you.

I was missing you I guess. Weird, huh?

Yes, Carl. I have to go.

Ted and I are taking a little boat ride.

Oh, that's great. Good for you.

Jesus, Pete.

I'm not in or I'm busy.

Oh come on. You're halfway through.

Just snap it off already.

Hi, Pete. Hey. Where have you been?

- You haven't been getting my calls?

What?

God, no.

Oh, I totally lost my phone.

You are so full of sh*t.

Here it is.

Yeah, there it is.

You know what buddy?

You missed my engagement party tonight.

Oh no. Oh shoot. You are kidding?

That was tonight?

I am so sorry. I totally gapped it.

Listen, I'll make it up to you. I promise.

I swear. You pick the day. Any day you

want. We'll go out. We'll swashbuckle.

What does that even mean?

- I don't know.

This wasn't drinks at a bar, Carl.

This was my engagement party.

You only get married once.

- I certainly wouldn't do it again.

I know, Carl. I know that Stephanie left

and I know that you have issues because of it

but this isn't about you.

It's about me.

When was the last time you did anything fun?

You're always makinmg excuses.

'I don't want to commit.'

'I don't want to be tied down.'

Do you even know my fiance's last name?

Yeah, Fisher.

Fishman.

Wait ... Fish Wall?

- Fish Wall?

You think her name is Lucy Fish Wall?

- No, that's wrong.

It's Burns.

It's Lucy Burns, Carl.

And guess what?

She doesn't like my best friend.

And I keep trying to think of reasons

why she should, but you know what?

I can't think of any.

I don't want to hear another excuse, Carl.

Do what you want,

I'm just telling you, that if you don't change

your life, you're going to end up a lonely guy.

A lonely guy, Carl.

Hey, Carl.

Hey, Rooney. Come here for a second.

Carl look a little odd to you?

Is it me, or does it look like he's kind of dead?

Nope, no more than usual.

I do not know. I'm leaning towards

thinking he might actually be dead dead.

I guess I never saw him a lot

so it's hard for me to tell the difference.

Yeah, that's true.

He never did much.

He wasn't a good friend.

Wasn't a good anything.

Any more beers in the fridge?

Sorry, this was the last one.

That's pathetic.

What was that?

As we begin.

Find a seat.

Carl. Hey Carl.

Carl, man, hey!

Hey Nick.

You made it man.

I knew you'd come. I saw it

in your eyes, man. You're gonna love this.

Terrence is genius. He's going to

blow your mind all over the Goddamn room.

He's like a frickin mind grenade.

- I'm not sure I want that.

Yeah, but you need it.

That's why you're here.

You have got to start saying 'yes',

my man. And I mean to everything.

Shh, it's starting.

Life. We are all living it. .

Or are we?

- Eww, heavy

Change is generated from consciousness

but where is consciousness generated from?

From the external .

And how do we control the external?

With one word. And what is that word?

Yes!

The word is' yes'.

Yes, yes, yes.

Say it a million times.

Say it a million more times. And the

word you will have said two million times is ...

Yes!

I want you to invite 'Yes' into your life,

Because it will rsvp 'Yes'.

When you say 'Yes' to things,

you embrace the possible.

You've gobbled up all of life's energies

and you excrete the waste.

Before we begin today, I'd

like to welcome our new members.

Who among you is new?

He is! This guy right here!. He's new.

Over here.

Come on up,

future 'Yes' man.

That's okay, I'm just auditing.

You can't audit life my friend.

Now, get on up here.

- No, thanks. I'm cool.

I'm sorry? What was that you said?

Um, I said I'm cool.

Before that?

Thank you.

- Back up just a little bit more.

No.

- "No man! No man! ..."

Okay.

If the mole hill won't come to Terrence,

Terrence will come to the mole hill.

What is your name?

- Carl.

Let me guess, Carl. Someone

talked you into coming here, didn't they?

Yes

- 'Yes!'

And you're not sure about this, are you?

No.

- "No, man! No man! ..."

You are dead, Carl.

You say no to life

and therefore you are not living.

You make up excuses

to the people around you

and to yourself.

You are stuck in the same deadend job.

You do not have a girlfriend.

You don't have anything close to a girlfriend.

And you lost the love of your life because

she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs.

(silently mouths) Wow.

And on most nights you are so bored

and filled with ennui

you can't even sumon the

enthusiasm necessary to masterbate.

Am I right, Carl?

I have some trouble.

We can make a covenent, Carl.

Do you want to make a covenent?

Um..

The word is' yes', Carl.

- "Yes!" "Yes! Yes!"

Once you leave this building...

every time an opportunity presents itself

No matter what it is,

you will say:
'Yes'.

"Yes! Yes! ..."

What if I say the other word?

You will be a promise to yourself.

When you break a promise to yourself

things can get a little dicy.

What do you say, Carl?

Are you ready to make a covenent?

Yes

- "Yes! Yes!..."

Again.

-Yes.

Say it again.

- "Yes!"

Make me believe it!

- Yes! Yes! Yes!.

"YES!"

Hey, there he is.

- Hey, that was really wonderful.

Thank you.

- That was pretty powerful stuff, huh?

Good to have you with us.

So, are you going to do it?

- I do not know. Maybe.

This is weird. I didn't realize we just

stepped out of a 'Maybe' seminar.

Hey, that's a nice car.

Could you drive me to to Elysian Park?

Oh, uh...

Yeah, sure he can.

Right, Carl?

Yeah, why not.

Yes!

You won't regret this, Carl.

Can I use your phone?

- Come on, man.

Keep going or this will do?

Does it really matter?

Hold on a second

I can't hear myself think.

Just a little further.

Just right up the hill there.

Go ahead.

I'm just right over here.

Okay, yeah.

What? Hello?

Aw sh*t, man. Your battery is dead.

Aw, great.

Thanks.

Gracias amigo. It was real nice of you

to give me a ride. Most people just say no.

Of course i have been having a lot

of luck lately outside of that hotel.

No problem. Have a good night.

Can I borrow a couple bucks?

Ok.

I came this far.

Yes, you can.

You havea whole lot there.

Can I have it all?

Sure.

All yours.

God bless you man.

Come on, now.

Come on.

Perfect.

Hey Carl? Do you want to give all your

money away to a homelss guy? Yes, yes I do.

How about letting hm

burn out your phone battery

so you can't call 'Triple A'

when you run out of gas?

You know what?

That sounds like a f***ing great idea!

Why not take a late night stroll

through the hills and get killed by the Manson family?

Don't mind if I do!

Come on, man.

Credit.

Click yes or no.

My only f***ing option

Would you like to carry a 20 lb

container of gas up a giant hill to your car?

Oh, could I? Could I really?

That's a good look.

Oh, hi.

Did you just take my picture?

- Maybe.

Did you just run out of gas?

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