Yogi Bear Page #2

- Exactly.

You're fine, Yogi.

It's just a few scrapes and bruises.

I don't know, Mr. Ranger.

I'm pretty sure I heard my spine snap.

Well, you wouldn't be able to stand.

And you wouldn't be able to eat.

I'm okay!

Yogi, Boo Boo, I would like to introduce

you to Rachel Johnson...

...who's here to make a nature

documentary.

What the heck was that?

I was saying hello.

I lived in a den with brown bears

for six months.

Only bear I've ever lived with

is Boo Boo.

And he only makes that sound after

he's eaten baked beans. Heh, heh.

I have problems with baked beans.

And for a little bear,

he makes a lot of stink.

Okay, I have some fantastic river otters

you can film instead.

- Could get a hat and tie on the slow one.

- No, you know, I really, really like these two.

- Would you guys mind if I shoot you?

- Huh?

Yogi, I think she meant with a camera.

Yes. Of course with a camera.

Heh-heh-heh. I knew that.

But not just any camera.

This isn't gonna make me look fat,

is it?

No, you are gonna look great.

Okay, just a few more adjustments.

Please, excuse the pre-tied bow tie.

My mornings are often rushed.

It's fine, Boo Boo. This is going to be

a whole new perspective for a documentary.

The Boo Boo cam will capture the true

wilderness in all its natural glory.

No other human in sight.

That sounds like my apartment. Ha, ha.

Uh, you know, because I live alone.

Well, plenty of women have tried

to change that.

It's just, I haven't found one that...

- Likes you?

- What? No. No, that...

Will return your calls?

Can you stop helping, please?

Sir, I can see you like this lady.

But your courting rituals need work.

What you need to do is follow her around

for two days making snorting sounds.

Then fight any male that looks at her.

And then, of course, urinate on her

to mark her as your territory.

Works every time.

I got it under control, Yogi.

- Boo Boo, you're rolling.

- Cool.

Yogi Bear, a brown bear commonly found

in North America and Alaska.

Weighing up to 1800 pounds, brown bears

are also the national animal of Finland.

I don't think you have to narrate.

But I liked where you were going with it,

Boo Boo.

- I was hooked.

- Really?

Yes. Now try to film from flattering angles,

if you know what I mean.

Pic-a-nic baskets may be delicious on

the lips, but they're a lifetime on the hips.

Oh, no.

Ranger Smith! Ranger Smith.

The mayor's here.

What's he doing here?

Why didn't he give us more warning?

I have to secure the area.

All units, lock down the park.

Repeat, lock down the park.

Jones, you know

I'm the only other ranger here, right?

Yeah.

- Ranger Smith, we need to talk.

- You could've just called.

Yeah, but I thought

this would be more friendly.

I'm really working on my people skills.

Anyway, I am closing your park down.

- Okay.

- What?

Oh, yeah, this place just costs the city

way too much money.

Jellystone hasn't made its operating budget

in 10 years.

You know, it's hard to compete with

all those amusement parks...

Oh, hey, you're not kidding. Oh, have you

guys been to Lincoln Log Land yet?

Oh, man, they have got a roller coaster

there, it's made completely out of logs.

It's just like they rode in the pioneer days.

It's unbelievable.

Sir, Jellystone is special. Okay?

It's turning 100 years old this very year.

Why, it's a landmark.

I would never let it be closed down.

Well, uh, you actually

don't have a choice.

Have you read the city bylaws lately?

Chapter 6. Section 73.

"Any municipal property

that can't generate enough money...

...to cover its operating budget...

...can be rezoned for other uses."

And since Jellystone loses money

every year, we're shutting it down.

Uh, sorry?

- I thought that went well.

- Yeah.

Just a second, Mr. Mayor.

Who says we can't cover our budget? Park

doesn't report earnings till next quarter.

Yeah, which is like one week away.

Come on, Smith.

You gotta be $20,000 in the hole.

We wish. Yeah. Try 30,562.

That's probably a couple hundred extra

for the map stand.

I think it's confession time.

- I only pretended to fix it.

- Thanks, Jones.

Sounds like you're in pretty deep

there, Smith.

Maybe we are. But this is one of the last

places families can go to be close to nature.

The world needs that.

Well, I'm not mayor of the world.

I'm mayor of this city.

And this city needs this park rezoned.

I'm sorry.

I feel awful about it.

Even though I look really good.

This is a new suit.

So, okay.

Maybe we don't have our operating

budget today. But you know what?

- A lot can happen in a week.

- All right. Have it your way. Take a week.

Hey, I'll even get you started.

What's the admission fee for one car again?

Four dollars.

Four dollars, huh? Four whole dollars?

Well, that changes everything.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, I only need to come back in here

like, uh, what, 10,000 more times?

In a week! Do I have time for that?

- Impossible.

- Oh, shoot.

You want-a some-a lasagna?

You hungry, buddy?

Of course! I'm always hungry.

I was talking to my pet turtle.

Here you go.

That better not be my beef jerky.

So, what's the big deal, Yogi?

This is the big deal, Boo Boo.

It's my masterpiece.

The Basket-Nabber 2000.

The most advanced pic-a-nic

basket-stealing technology ever invented.

Wow.

Climb aboard.

This glider can steer...

...dive, shoot rubber bands at

pesky-type birds...

...and even has an air bag.

Had an air bag.

Sorry, Yogi.

Not to worry. We could cushion our landing

with all the pic-a-nic baskets we swipe.

Now, how's that copilot seat feel?

A little wobbly,

like it's not tied on very tight.

You won't feel that in the air.

Get ready to fly faster than the speed

of sandwich, Boo Boo.

We're gonna break the pic-a-nic barrier.

- Yogi!

- Uh-oh.

That's not his happy voice.

Don't move.

I'm switching the glider into stealth mode.

Stealth mode?

Wow. How are you able to...?

Oh.

Ah, Mr. Ranger, sir. Welcome.

Can I interest you in a sody pop?

- There you go.

- When did you steal our vending machine?

I, um... I'm repairing it, sir.

This machine gives its sodas away

for free when a bear kicks it.

Look, a camper has reported some

missing fishing poles...

...so I'm gonna go out on a limb here

and say it was you.

Fishing poles? Sir, I'm a bear.

If I wanted to catch fish,

I would just use my...

Your paws, Yogi.

Isn't that kind of unsanitary?

What's that?

- What's what?

- That thing.

- What thing?

- The thing under the blanket.

- Blanket?

- The object right behind you.

Oh. Oh, that. Heh.

A sculpture.

I'm sculpting now. Mostly landscapes.

And where's Boo Boo?

- France.

- What?

- That's not close by, is it?

- No.

Then he's in the bathroom.

- Excuse me.

- Wait!

Hey, this isn't the bathroom.

I'm telling you, Mr. Ranger,

it's not for stealing pic-a-nic baskets.

It says "Basket-Nabber 2000"

right here, Yogi.

I do regret calling it that now.

I know I'm always saying,

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