Yonkers Joe Page #5

A lot like you.

Do you understand that?

Hmm?

I have

a very good build.

Oh. Oh, you do. I'm gonna

have to contain myself.

I'm gonna go get you

a pillow and blanket,

and you are gonna stay

right here tonight.

Ok.

Go 8! Go 8!

Janice, I won!

oh...

See? You should have done

some reading about tactics.

Bet to win

and what happens?

- We won.

- Yeah. We won.

- I'm gonna get my money.

- All right.

You know where to go?

Hey, Joe. Joe.

Let's go.

Come right back.

Bye, sweetie.

He's been doing better,

don't you think?

Yeah.

Listen, thanks for

coming down, you know?

The kid really

likes you.

Sure.

No problem.

Stop worrying.

He'll be fine.

Oh, goody, your shadow.

You didn't tell me

he was gonna be here.

Hey, Joe.

- Hey.

We were just

bragging about you.

This is Bam and Dino from New York,

but they live here now.

Good to meet you.

Dino, this is

my wife Janice.

How you doing,

Janice?

Good. How you doing?

These guys, they did some

business with Carmine in Yonkers.

Yeah. We were supposed to be a part

of those British junkets to London.

- Missed a hell of a score.

- Heh.

I know all about it;

you're top of the line.

We heard what

you did in Gibraltar too.

They actually signed

the casino over to you?

It was hardly

a casino.

You know, we've been around the

counters for years, you know.

Bam here fucks with

those snappers himself.

Is that right?

I can hold up

a crap.

I got a little

bum shot going.

Ooh. That'll

get the money.

Listen, you guys

are serious about this?

They just need a few

details, Joe, that's it. Yeah.

We're not 100% convinced

about the eye in the sky.

Now, how are you

gonna block that,

even for a second?

I'm not.

I want the eye

watching me.

I want them all

watching me.

This way we don't have

to worry about a blow.

Watch.

Do it again.

F***!

Hey, I'm looking right at 'em.

I--I don't see anything.

That's a good switch.

- But where's the leak?

- Leak?

Leak?

Every move has a leak.

You know, an angle

where you can see

the other dice

in your hand.

There is no other

dice in my hand.

That's impossible.

It's on the back

of your palm.

Uh. Uh. I spilled.

Hi!

I'll talk

to you guys later.

I'll see you upstairs,

ok? Can't talk here.

I gotta go. I'll meet you guys

back in the club house, all right?

Joe, hold on.

Spilled?

He's just pulling your prick a little.

Hey, Joe.

What, they got hot horses?

They're all hot to Joe.

I won.

I was number 8.

Congratulations, son.

Hi! I won.

- Joe.

Joe. Hey, Joe.

Hold on. Hold on.

My dad--he lost,

but I bet three...

Here's the works.

It's a dead

ace-deuce splitter.

- Perfect. Joe, can we--? Listen. Man!

- What?

- I couldn't get the black light gel.

- What?

Listen, man.

Let's be realistic.

We have a better shot at

moving tops on the president

Than beating a casino.

Now, listen, we can

turn these guys.

They know you're capable.

All you got to do is show them the way.

- All right?

- Yes.

- All right.

- All right. Ok. Yeah.

- All right. Let me get my kid, all right?

- Yeah.

I won.

Can I have my money?

I--I had three bets.

I was number 8.

Joey. Hi. Heh.

Hi. Come here.

It's ok.

Come on. Come here.

What the hell is

the matter with you?

- I won.

- Come on! Let's go!

- I won the money.

- I know you won. A lot of people won.

Ok? A lot of people

win with this.

What are you

doing in there?

- I won!

- Ok. That's only for the owners and the jockeys.

You cash the tickets up there. Come on.

It'll be all right.

Just come on.

Hurry up.

Hey. Is he ok?

Yeah. He's ok.

Hurry up. Come on.

I got to put

that bet in, ok?

- Joe?

- Come on. This horse!

I got to bet it now.

Come on!

You want to tell me

what's going on?

- Just come on!

- Aw, jeez.

Come on, Janice.

I don't want to get shut out, all right?

I only got one play

today and this is it.

Ok. Fine.

Just tell me what's going on.

These two guys from

Miami, you know?

They're half-assed

hustlers.

They think they're with it.

They don't even know they're alive.

Come on.

Stanley wants to put

'em through, you know?

Come on. Let's move

here, please.

Cut the crap, ok?

What?

All right, Joe. Look.

That's where you cash your tickets,

right over there.

Go over there,

cash your tickets. Ok?

Go ahead. And then come right back here.

Come right back

when you're finished, ok?

Look, Stanley wants to

turn these guys, Janice.

That's why

we're down here.

"Turn"? What does

that mean?

He wants to take 'em to Las Vegas,

you know, play it on the square.

Use their money.

Take a shot with it.

Well, why would

you do that?

Well, why not? They think I'm

gonna move loaded dice to the game.

We told them up front,

"you could still lose with loads.

there's no guarantee."

Meanwhile...

I pretend to move.

We use their money.

Right? If we win, great.

- If we lose, it doesn't cost us nothing.

- Wait wait wait.

Pretend to move?

I don't get it.

What advantage

does that give you?

You'll be gambling

on the square.

Wouldn't you want

someone to give you

- 100 large to Gamble with?

- Yeah.

I mean, 'cause that's what

they're coming up with-- 100,000.

But it still doesn't

mean you're gonna win.

You know,

this is ridiculous.

If these sick degenerates

didn't have to bet every horse

in the goddamn race,

I could've been down by now.

Just tell me

what's going on.

No more bets.

Do you believe this?

Huh?

That's 'cause everybody's

gotta bet every horse.

Hey, hey. Joe. Joe.

Come on.

Look, Stanley will go off with

half that bankroll in chips

if the dice

don't go our way.

We will get the money.

What happened to you do it

with your hands, not your mouth.

What happened to that?

You know what, Janice?

I don't like it, either.

But I'm tired of

the whole thing, you know,

and I'm tired of Stanley;

I'm tired of these guys.

And you know

something else?

- We're not qualified to take care of the kid.

- Shh!

Can I tell you

something? Can I?

- Yeah.

- Just one thing.

You're full of sh*t.

- Did you get your money?

- Yeah.

$20!

# there's just

one place for me #

# this is it #

# yeah, just

one place to be #

# this is it #

# I'm so happy

to be here #

# when I look around

it's clear #

# yes, it's perfectly

plain to see #

# there's

the cream of the crop #

# this is it #

# on my list

at the top #

# this is it #

# couldn't ask for

nothin' more #

# like a home that I Adore #

# if there's one place

I fit, this is it. #

Come on.

Welcome

to the grand plaza.

There's no obligation

to buy.

Your prints

will be at the counter.

Honey, we'll take

our own pictures, ok?

Thank you.

Holy sh*t.

These guys must really

want to impress you, huh?

Yeah. It's all right.

Ha ha! More than

all right!

Whoa.

Thanks for helping out

with the kid.

Yeah. You mentioned

that already.

Viva Las Vegas!

Whoo!

Hey, suckers!

Whoo!

Hey, Teddy.

Do you know they've been

together for 20 years?

Who's that, my man?

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