You Gotta Stay Happy Page #5

Oh, fine.

Well, you go over there

and tell them...

Look, look, look,

Prexy, I had to.

I got in over my head

last night. I spent

most of our gas money.

As it happens, these kids

had exactly 100 clams to spend

on their honeymoon.

So I...

So you sold them tickets?

Who's gonna

find out about it?

Look, Prexy,

you worry too much.

You gotta stay happy.

Don't look for trouble.

What are you trying to do,

get us grounded?

If you got no gas,

you'd be grounded, too.

Listen, now,

I'm going over

to Operations.

Now, while I'm gone,

behave yourself,

will you?

Or I'll personally ground you

from 10,000 feet.

Roger, Wilco!

Oh, shut up!

Hey, Mac!

Hey, take me over

to Operations, will you?

Okay.

Hey, Mr. Bullets!

Come here!

I've got another personnel!

Huh?

We've got another passenger.

Oh, no.

Well, a man came in

and wanted a plane

to California, so I...

Look, Dottie,

you don't understand.

We don't carry passengers.

Never!

Oh, I thought

you needed the money.

He paid you?

Well, he didn't seem to

care how much it cost,

so I just yawned a little

to get things started

and he gave me $300.

Three hundred...

Well, we do make exceptions,

you know, in rare cases.

Get your passenger

aboard the plane!

One man coming up.

Oh, Mr. Caslon!

Your plane's ready.

Oh, yes, of course, the plane.

I'm getting cigarettes.

I'll be with you

in just a minute.

Right outside, Payne Airlines.

Just where have you been?

I was afraid to wait over

in the waiting room,

there's so many people

waiting over there,

so I waited over here.

How was I supposed

to know that?

Well, I just didn't think.

Yeah, see, well, you just

better start thinking!

What happened to your face?

When I shaved

my mustache off, I guess

my hand shook a little.

It's a good thing you didn't

have a beard. You might have

cut your throat.

Mae, do you think we ought

to go through with this?

Now, don't be so nervous,

honey. Everything's gonna

be all right.

Why do we have to

travel separately?

I've told you 100 times.

It's safer

if we're not together.

Did you get your ticket?

I'm going on a freight plane,

Payne Air.

That's a good idea.

Now, remember, honey,

don't get off the plane,

and don't let that bag

out of your sight.

I'll meet you out there.

All right. Goodbye.

Oh, Mae, maybe you better

take care of this.

Oh, no, thanks. You take it.

If I'm left holding the bag,

it's not gonna be that one!

What about me?

Oh, for heavers sakes, honey,

pull yourself together

and stop shaking.

Better get aboard your plane,

before you faint.

I'll meet you at Burbank.

Mr. Caslon! Hurry up!

No, no, I'll take it.

Oh, hurry up.

This is Mr. Caslon.

How are you?

How do you do?

You better get him aboard.

Right this way, sir.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'll take it.

Who's this?

Extra personnel.

Does Marv know about him?

Well, no, it's a surprise.

Are we going

all the way to the coast

in a thing like this?

Why, sure, Mr. Caslon.

This is a cargo ship.

You'll like it.

It's like traveling

in a tramp steamer,

sort of informal.

As we go along,

we point out the sights.

If you see

something you like,

we buzz it for you.

No, I'd rather you wouldn't...

Or not, as you prefer.

Is that a coffin?

Where?

Right there.

Well, it does look like one,

doesn't it?

Is there someone in it?

Well, I haven't looked.

Should we open it and see?

No, thanks.

Okay. Step forward

in the car, Mr. Caslon.

(HOOTING)

Is that gorilla safe?

Joe is not a gorilla,

he's a chimpanzee.

And he certainly

won't bother you

if you don't bother him.

Well, don't worry

about that!

Hello, Joe.

Oh, I think he's sweet.

Joe likes you.

If I must say so,

that's a great

accomplishment.

He makes

very few friends.

All set?

Yeah.

Listen, when you pick up

that whitefish in Chicago,

be sure you got plenty of ice.

It's got to be

delivered fresh.

Okay.

Will you all sit down, please?

Fasten your seat belts.

We're gonna take off

right away.

Well, say, Captain,

I have some fruit

and candy.

Will you give Joe some

every few hours?

You'll also find

some cigars in the sack.

Let him have one

after every meal.

Well, does he eat them

or smoke them?

He smokes them.

Well, goodbye, Captain.

Goodbye.

Give him a hand,

will you, Jack?

JACK:
Come here, pop.

Give my regards

to the stockholders

in Burbank.

So long.

(JOE SCREECHING)

Hey, I want you to meet

a friend of mine.

Joe, meet Marv.

How do you do?

Here you are.

Be sure and fasten

your seat belt, huh?

Think you better get in

another seat for takeoff.

Oh, but Miltikins

and I promised we'd never

leave each other.

Well, the belt isn't

long enough to go around

both of you.

Oh...

You can come back

after we're in the air,

baby face.

I just hate to get off

your lappy-wappy

for a second.

Goodbye, lover man.

Goodbye, sugar love.

Excuse me.

Belt fastened?

Thank you.

Who are you?

I am...

(STAMMERS) Well, I am...

Why do you ask?

Well, Mr. Payne,

this is Mr. Caslon.

Mr. Caslon, meet our captain

and president, Mr. Payne.

Can't I leave for

five minutes without...

Look, Prexy, Prexy,

four passengers

can't get you in any more

trouble than three.

That's simple mathematics.

And Caslon had

300 good reasons

why we should take him.

You see, Prexy,

you gotta stay...

Yeah, I gotta stay happy.

Well, I think I'd be

much happier if I

take charge of this.

Now, come on.

Let's get going.

Anybody else you'd like

to have come along?

All right.

Clear the right.

Well, everything all right?

Oh, yes.

It's just gorgeous.

I gave him a cigar

and he lit it all by himself.

Watch he doesn't bite you.

Why, he's almost human.

Put a highball in

the other hand and he'd look

like a man of distinction.

MARV:

I thought the airplane

was on fire.

You better sit down.

Yeah, maybe not.

What's the matter, you cold?

Just from the ankles down.

I think I can fix that.

Any idea who's in there?

Yeah, a man

by the name of Harry Selby.

Sad, isn't it?

Well, that depends.

If he did anything

with his life,

I guess it isn't so bad.

What's a person

supposed to do

with his life?

Lots of things.

Work, come out to something,

be a success, raise a family.

And that's what you're doing?

I'm trying.

The first part

of it, anyway.

According to my schedule,

I won't be able to support

a family until 1954.

You're going to do

all that on schedule?

Well, I think a person

should plan his life.

Well, suppose you fall in love

before then, like those two?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

You know, they told me

they didn't even have enough

money for an engagement ring,

but they seem to be happy.

Oh, now, yeah! But wait

till later on, when they have

kids, bills they can't pay,

she starts wanting things

he can't get for her.

And you figure you'll be

ready for all these things

in 1954, huh?

You just wait till we get

some four-engine equipment.

We'll go places.

I don't see how you can be

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