You Were Never Lovelier Page #7

We didn't mean to get you in trouble.

I'm going to insist that Eduardo

ignore his resignation.

Oh, Mama.

While you're there, will you

put in a good word for Robert?

Of course, dear.

"Dearly beloved...

...as long as my heart beats, I'll never

forget the softness of your lips...

...the pounding of your heart

against mine.

Yes, my dearest, darling Maria...

...I will always cherish the exquisite

torture of our stolen kisses...

...our sweet stolen moments together.

- Maria, my secret love."

- Maria?

You and Maria Castro!

Now I know what all that

whispering's been about.

- You bluebeard!

- Delfina, give me that note.

The "softness" of her...

The "pounding" of her...

To think that you,

lovemaking with Maria.

The godmother of your own child.

The wife of your best friend.

Writing a love note to her

on our own wedding anniversary.

- You wretch!

- Delfina, I can ex...

Don't try to change the subject.

Say something!

Delfina, give me that note!

I regret having to say goodbye,

Mrs. Castro. You've been most kind.

You'd better go into the library,

Mrs. Castro.

- Your name is being bandied about.

- What's that?

The pistols are on the table.

Retribution day is here. Acuna's

going to get what's coming to him.

- How? Why?

- He was caught red-handed...

...writing a love note to Maria Castro.

Maria Castro?

- I'm innocent, I tell you.

- Don't touch me, you scorpion.

Oh, Juan, we'll have to bear

this disgrace together.

And we have grown children.

This letter was written to your wife

by my husband.

Let the reptile's own words

convict him.

We caught him writing it.

He jumped like he was shot.

- Did he admit it?

- I admit nothing.

You keep out of this!

I'm talking to your wife.

I gave him the best 25 years of my life.

Do you deny you wrote this note?

I ask that my daughters

leave this ridiculous scene.

And I demand that they stay.

They'll learn a lesson in matrimony

they'll never forget.

Eduardo, I am a jealous man.

Will you please take that injured look

from your fat face?

- Did you write this note?

- Yes, I wrote the note...

I'm sure that Papa can explain

everything if you'll just give him time.

- Yes, if you'll just give me time.

- Well, we're listening.

Well, this isn't the time.

And what have you to say,

you brazen thing?

My dear, sweet, darling wife,

will you please shut up?

I'm not speaking to her again anyway.

If you wanted my husband, why didn't

you come to me and ask for him?

I don't want your husband.

There she goes,

laughing at me behind my back.

Beg pardon, Delfina, right in your face.

Oh, whispering women!

Going to his office every day,

and him, writing letters!

- He's a fiend.

- You don't know...

...what you're talking about.

- Don't argue!

If Delfina says he's a fiend,

he's a fiend.

- They're insane, Maria, both of them.

- I am insane, Eduardo.

It's an insane world when

my best friend and my own wife...

Eduardo, we must confess.

Did you hear her?

She wants to confess.

We'll confess nothing.

Not here and not now.

- You'll have to be patient.

- I'll have to be patient?!

Hold that gun.

It might go off, you know.

Now, look, I can explain everything.

Mr. Acuna was not writing that letter

to Maria Castro.

He was writing it to Maria,

his own daughter...

...as a farewell note from me.

- From you?

He wrote all the notes you received,

and he sent all the orchids.

I don't understand.

He just decided that Maria

should have an unknown suitor, so...

Is that true, Eduardo?

You were very considerate, Papa.

But how did you come into all this?

When I delivered the orchids, Maria,

you jumped at conclusions.

So your father had to ask me

to act as your admirer.

Well, how did you bring yourself

to make such a sacrifice?

The truth is, I wanted this contract...

And that's how Papa paid you

for being attentive to me.

- In a way, but later...

- Later you got tired of the assignment.

You got in too deep.

So Papa wrote a goodbye note

for you to send.

I apologize for all the embarrassment

this has caused you, Aunt Maria.

It was partly my fault.

I knew your father

was writing the notes.

Well! Everybody knows now.

I guess nobody had

any way of knowing...

...l'd make such

a complete fool of myself.

Congratulations, Robert.

I hope Papa paid you well.

You earned it.

If I had written the notes...

...I would have meant every word

your father said.

Please, Maria.

He's working overtime, Papa.

You should give him a bonus.

Will you ever forgive me, Maria?

She may, but all my life, I'll be

haunted by your frightful suspicions...

...that I could have been unfaithful.

- Oh, Eduardo!

Go and see that our guests are happy

and leave me with my conscience.

- Eduardo...

- Don't say anything.

I know, you're a jealous man.

- Remember, I warned you.

- I remember.

My boy, a woman's advice

isn't worth listening to...

...but any man who doesn't take it

is a fool. And that's me.

I've been pretty much of a dope

myself.

For some time,

it was a positive pleasure...

...for me to dislike you.

It gave me a nice, warm glow.

But now I must confess that I've

conceived quite a fondness for you.

What you just did smacked of nobility.

I didn't want to see you

shot full of holes.

Making that confession before Maria,

to save me...

...it must have been painful.

- It wasn't any fun.

Do you think she'll be all right now?

Thanks to my meddling, no.

I wonder if she'll ever forgive us.

Mr. Acuna, would you mind very much

if I didn't take tomorrow's plane?

You have my permission

to court Maria...

...as long as your strength holds out.

But I'm afraid it won't

do you any good.

If these orchids aren't out of here

by the time I get back, I'll...

I'll set fire to them.

Oh, Miss Maria, can't you see

how desperate he is?

All right. He made love to you

under false pretences...

...but he's serious now.

You've forgiven me.

You can forgive him.

I can't forgive him for what he did

to make me love him.

What about the things you did

to make him fall in love with you?

When you've got a fish hooked,

haul him in.

Don't you let another orchid

in this house!

- Miss Maria Acuna.

- Right this way, boys.

Now, don't give up, my boy.

You're bucking the man

she thought you were.

- That fellow on the white horse?

- Yes.

- I have an instinct for...

- For what goes on in a woman's heart.

- I know.

- I know this.

Every woman wants to be swept

off her feet and carried away.

Tell me, just what did this bird

Lochinvar do about his gal?

Well, he put on his best

suit of Sunday armour...

...and rode up to her father's castle,

or whatever they lived in.

There was a dance going on,

or something...

...but Lochinvar rode into the patio,

or whatever they have in Scotland...

...and swept the girl off her feet,

onto his horse and rode off with her.

I think.

Well, I've tried everything else.

Robert! Robert!

Wait, Robert!

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