Young Doctors In Love

- Gently now, don't hurt me.

- It won't hurt.

It hurt.

Is this working?

Good morning. I am Dr. Joseph Prang.

Chief of Staff, Chief of Surgery,

Chief of busting balls.

I'm sure you've all come here

with high hopes.

Scalpel. And wonderful dreams.

You there with the turtleneck on.

What do you hope to get out of all this?

Walter Rist, New Jersey, Hoboken.

I wanna be a psychiatrist...

because I wanna help people

put their twisted, wretched minds...

in a more peaceful place.

Not a chance, Doctor.

Thurman Flicker, Coon Valley, Wisconsin.

- Gynecology, I think.

- Next.

Charles Litto. Chicago:

Anesthesiologist. I like to pass gas.

That's wonderful, Dr. Litto.

We're down here trying

to save a man's life...

and you're up there making fart jokes.

My name is Milton Chamberlain,

Miami, Florida.

Proctologist?

No, sir. Pediatrician.

Young lady, how about you?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Stephanie Brody, and I'm from Vermont.

I want to specialize in rural medicine...

so I can open a clinic in my hometown.

Buck DeVol.

All-American University of Iowa.

Dream faster, son.

- Yeah. Sports medicine.

- Next.

Phil Burns.

And I am from the really ugly part

of Rego Park in Long Island in Queens.

And I had, like, a hideous childhood...

Wait a minute. Excuse me, Burns.

Dr. Stevens, who is that?

That's Dr. Byner. He's assisting today.

- Why is he wearing a white cap?

- Excuse me?

He's wearing a white cap.

I'm wearing a white cap.

Everybody else is wearing blue caps.

Well, we were all out of blue caps,

so I gave him a white cap.

Get him out of here.

I'm sorry, Burns.

You were saying, ugly, hideous...

Yes. To support myself...

see, I'm working two jobs to become

an allergist and be somebody.

Thank you.

And the one in the back there.

What's your dream, young man?

Dr. Simon August. Beverly Hills, California.

I'm going to be the greatest surgeon

the world has ever known.

Oh, God, he's gonna want a white cap.

Think fast.

I can promise you all two things.

One:
This will be the worst year

of your lives.

Two:
Those of you who finish

will be the best doctors in the state.

For the next 12 months,

you will learn to hate my guts.

I may break some of you.

But those of you who survive will thank me.

Get out of here.

That's better. I like your hat.

Attention. New interns report for duty

on January 1.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year!

The White Zone is for the immediate

loading and unloading of patients only.

No parking.

I want to go back to the party.

- I'm telling you, we don't have any room.

- I know. Just get his history, Perez.

All right, let's go back in there.

We'll get that fly right out of your ear.

All right, Nick, come on.

Get these people to quit smoking.

- And find that duck.

- The duck?

I'm telling you, find me more help tonight.

Or find yourself a new chief resident.

Now, I've got this new intern here for you,

and I found three girls.

Three candy-striper volunteers.

Two of them are paramedics,

and one worked in publicity.

- I'll take the one with the tits.

- Linda.

City Hospital Emergency.

Nurse Chang speaking.

I'll talk to you later.

What happened?

- There's a fly in my ear.

- A fly flew into his ear.

A fly in your ear? Let's see.

Hello, City Hospital. Emergency.

Emergency in Room A, Dr. Jacobs.

Perez, take care of his fly.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Leave her alone, Mom.

Hey, what the hell's going on?

Tell Jacobs those new interns are here.

Good evening.

All right, doctors, I have got

an emergency room full of trouble.

Let's go.

Nurse, sorry, but the schedule says

"Let's Get Acquainted Party, Sunday night."

First day of duty, Monday.

It's still Sunday night. Happy New Year.

Wrong, Doctor.

It's 12:
03 a.m. You're on duty.

- Let's go, doctors.

- Careful, don't step on Milton.

Who do we examine first?

Let's see, there we go, Room 5.

You missed a great party, Doctor.

I didn't become a doctor

to go to parties, Nurse.

I didn't become a doctor

to be called "Nurse."

Thank you, Nurse.

This is Mr. Langley.

Doctor, I can't piss anymore.

- How old are you?

- I'm 82 years old.

You've pissed enough.

For Pete's sake.

I was just joking. He didn't get it.

I didn't get it, either.

Inside mob sources say

Godfather Sal Bonafetti...

and his son Angelo...

are marked for extinction by the underworld.

Needless to say, they are

unavailable for comment.

It's New Year's Eve.

I can't stand this f***ing hiding anymore.

I wanna go out.

Angelo, listen to me, I wanna go out.

There's three f***ing families

trying to kill you.

You got no brains? Can I have some coffee?

You shouldn't talk to your father that way.

Shut your mouth!

I want quiet.

I can't stand this no more. I can't take it.

All my life, always screaming.

I can't stand the screaming!

Stop screaming!

- What's the matter, Pop?

- Pop, spit it out.

Pop, it's me, it's Angie.

- Say something.

- He looks sick.

Will you shut up?

Keep your mouth shut!

We gotta get him to a hospital. Come on.

It's not safe to go out.

We gotta keep him in hiding.

But don't you think letting him die here

defeats the purpose?

He's right.

You disguise Pop, I'll disguise me.

It's gonna be all right, Pop, you'll see.

It's gonna be all right.

Have you got the ambulance yet?

Sir, I can't just get you an ambulance.

- I want the best doctor in the place.

- Does he have any mobility?

- What?

- Mobility?

- His arms, his legs, can he move?

- What are you talking about?

- Sorry.

- What are you doing?

He's all better now. Now do me a favor.

Don't tell anybody that

Dr. Buck fixed your duck.

Will one of the interns please report

to Room B?

Then he cornered me

in the back of the bus...

and then he started pulling at my clothes.

Did he say anything?

Yeah, he did. He said:

"First I'm gonna lick you all over."

- Lick?

- Lick.

"And then I'm gonna..."

I can't say it.

Here.

Write down everything

he was going to do after "lick."

Hello, Rocco, yeah.

Look, we got here safe.

The disguises are perfect.

Yeah, but I don't trust nobody.

There's a rumor that the Gallentino family...

brought in a hit man from Rhode Island.

Attention. Starting Monday,

all nurses must wear underwear.

- Next time you'll know better.

- But I was...

No, Dr. Prang won't let us break the rules.

- What's your name?

- Salvatore is his name.

- Does he have Blue Cross?

- Yeah, he's got everything.

Are you the wife?

Is this "This is Your Life" or something?

Would you please find a room for him, lady?

Don't have any rooms. He'll go in the ward.

- Check first.

- I just checked. We're full.

Please, lady,

would you call the room people?

There might have been a cancellation.

I'm a doctor, you're cured.

Get the hell out of here.

Who are you?

That's my cousin Guido.

And this here's my husband.

- Nice to meet you.

- Get the other guy.

My name is Mickey Callaghan,

and I paid for this room.

Yeah, so what? Who cares?

Get out of here.

You're going home, you're all better.

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