Youth in Oregon Page #6

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I'm really glad you're here.

I don't think I could've

talked him out of this alone.

Eastern owl screech.

We're not talking him

out of anything.

Honey, relax.

Danny's here.

Everything's fine.

Oh, well, all right.

We're headed to the cabin later.

It's been three days already.

I want you to come back.

No, sweetie.

No, I told you.

This is something I have to do.

I understand,

I understand. But look.

Here, talk to your husband.

- Hey, honey.

- Now he tells me

that you're going to the cabin.

I thought that Danny

was the last stop.

I'm telling you, this beast

has a mind of its own.

And whose fault is that, Brian?

Whose fault is it?

I don't know.

We got a lot of options here.

It could be your suicidal father

or your patricidal brother

or your blotto mother.

Anyone but you, right?

Anyone but you.

Hey!

I'm doing this for you!

So I would appreciate just

a little bit of empathy.

I swear to god, Brian,

turn them around right now,

or I am flying out there,

and I am taking over, okay?

- Unbelievable. I'm done.

- I have to go.

Because I don't

drink that much...

Come on, pick up, boy, pick up.

Hey, it's Nick.

Leave a message.

So, guys, what's this

I hear about going

to the cabin tonight?

Mom and dad thought

it would be better

- than paying for a hotel.

- Really?

Yep.

What's the difference?

Don't you...

Don't you think

it sends the wrong message here?

There's no message, Brian.

We're taking dad to Oregon.

That's the whole point.

No, no, no, the point

is to not get to Oregon.

We weren't even supposed

to get past Utah.

Look, I am happy

to captain this trip

from here on out.

They are my parents, after all.

We'll just rent a car.

And you can head back

and see Kate and Annie.

There we go.

Onions, onions, and Sauerkraut.

Well, we can't do that, sorry,

'cause we're gonna go

see Nick tonight.

Oh, we're gonna go see Nick?

Yeah. He changed his plans

around for us.

So we're gonna head over

to Boise and you're gonna stare

your grandson in the face

and tell him what you're up to.

- No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not.

- Why, why?

Because I have to be in Oregon

tomorrow morning.

No, you have to be in Oregon

tomorrow afternoon

for this mystery appointment.

I have to be in Oregon

tomorrow morning!

Fine, you will be there

tomorrow morning

or whenever you need

to be there, but tonight,

we will be in Boise,

and we will be talking to Nick!

What the hell, dad?

And also, it's on the way!

Why are you spitting it out?

It's great!

Are you sure

you don't want a dog?!

Oh, yeah, I want a hot dog now,

Estelle, after seeing that!

Mother f***er!

Oh!

Hey, Danny? Danny?

Sorry, bub,

can I borrow your phone?

My battery is dead.

I need to let Nick know

that we're getting close.

- Hello?

- Aha! There you are, boy.

Dad, are you seriously

calling me

from someone else's phone

right now?

Well, I am great, thanks,

just wanted to let you know

- that we are getting close.

- Where? Here?

There is no f***ing way

grandma and grandpa

are coming to visit here.

They're excited to see you, too.

I don't care.

Turn the car around.

- Hey, Nick!

- That's your uncle Danny.

- He's with us, too.

- F*** me, he's with you, too?

So, I'm gonna call you

when we get a little closer

to get exact directions,

but I know it's Sperry house.

-Absolutely not!

All right.

That's quite a charmer

you raised there.

Hey, it's Nick.

Leave a message.

Well, all right.

He's not picking up.

Probably deep in his studies,

so if you guys

just want to wait here,

I'll be right back.

Maybe he doesn't want to see us.

He doesn't have a choice.

Looks like a nice party.

Hey, Danny, maybe it's better

if you wait here with them.

You're not leaving me here

to babysit.

I'll tell you what,

why don't you ask around here,

see if you can find somebody.

I'm gonna go inside.

Nick Gleason!

It's your dad and you gay

formerly Mormon uncle!

You know what?

I think I'm gonna go

stretch my legs.

I'll be back.

You a**hole!

Is there a tip jar or something

to pay for the beer?

No?

Okay, thank you.

Hi. How are you?

Uh, Nick?

- You lost, guy?

No, I'm just looking for my son.

Uh, Nick Gleason.

- Is this Nick's room?

- Don't know him.

But I'm sure he's somewhere

studying hard,

like we all are.

Brian? Brian?

Is that like a bird eagle

feather and a...

Yeah, yeah,

it's because I'm flying.

This is like a broom

or something.

It looks like a brush.

That looks like a shark's tooth.

This is a bullet,

'cause I'm a shooter.

Estelle, come on.

Estelle, come on.

Raymond, I'm just talking

with the kids,

- having a little drink.

- You had enough.

Well, look who got his

big boy pants on for once.

- Yo, just take it easy.

- Back off, kid.

No. You know what...

Raymond!

You don't get to decide

when you want to care.

Get the f*** out of here,

old man.

- Brian? Brian!

- Danny?

You lost?

I... I don't think

that he lives here anymore.

He doesn't.

But I found out where he works.

F*** me.

All right, uh...

Let me get this straight.

You go there,

and you see this doctor.

And if he thinks it's legit,

you know, he kills you?

Pretty much.

Wow, uh...

That's, uh...

That's awesome.

Wait, Nick, no.

What? I think people

should have a right

to make their own choices.

Are they serving these tables?

I doubt it.

What will you have?

I want a shot of vodka

and a wine please.

- Nice.

- Okay, thank you.

Listen to her,

trying to juice herself up

- for whoever wants it.

She can't wait till I drop

so she can get

her stocking stuffed.

I am right here beside you

every single night in bed.

How long has it been

since you've touched me?

We are under

somebody else's roof.

Stocking stuffed?

How about just holding my hand,

you baronial son of a b*tch?

Why didn't you tell me

that you got a job here?

Because I didn't want to.

Nick, your grandfather

is a very jealous man

in his golden years.

I'm really honestly just trying

to understand, because,

you know, during the summer,

it's hard enough

- to get you to mow the lawn.

- Dad, are you serious?

Well, I don't understand.

Do you need money?

- All right.

- Take it, take it.

I have to get back to work.

But thank you.

And grandpa I want you to know,

I think what you're doing

is very brave.

Thank you, Nick.

What are you?

68 years old?

Acting like a fool.

Show me some respect.

- Right in front of my grandson?

- Raymond, ray... come on.

Hey, buddy, did you change dorms

and not tell your mom and me?

I'm taking the semester off

to intern

at a photography gallery.

I would have told you,

but I knew you wouldn't

approve, so I didn't.

Well, of course I'm not going to

approve of my 19-year-old son

dropping out of college

so that he can pursue a hobby.

Dad, it's just a semester.

I'm wasting my time

and your money studying gen eds.

But you cannot

just quit college, boy!

Brian, will you leave

the kid alone, please?

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