Z mrtvého domu - From the House of the Dead Page #2

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with the likes of you bro.

- What's this?

- Come on.

- Smells like someone farted up there.

- Look at all these bubbles.

It's disgusting.

Seems like a storm's comin' up.

Maybe so.

But that's all right.

Keeps Casper off our ass

if she tries coming after us...

while we blow on out ofhere.

What about the kids?

We can't leave 'em alone.

This is a bad island.

I ain't waiting around for 'em not if

we have a chance to slip past Casper.

- You'd better keep unloading.

- All right.

Fine.

Then we'll come back next week

when the heat is off huh?

- You hear somethin'?

- No nothing.

- Where is everyone?

- Come on Karma.

I can't believe this.

It's their loss. We have

this entire place to ourselves...

to dance the night away

and I intend to put it to good use.

- I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

- You would say that.

do you mind if

everybody isn't miserable like you?

Yeah you know what?

I rememberwhen she used to be fun.

When was that kindergarten?

How funny.

You're funny.

I think something bad's

happened here.

Like what?

Well they sure as hell did not

go to 7-11 to get more booze...

because the keg is full.

- Right on.

- Cheers.

- Chin-chin.

- Salud!

- L 'chaim!

- Well what the f***?

Doesn't this bother any of you?

We're on the island where the rave of

the year's supposed to be happening...

but it's completely deserted.

Yeah it worries me.

It worries me there aren't any mixers.

Simon cannot survive on Bud alone.

Speak for yourself dude.

I don't know about you but I'm gonna

go find out where everyone went.

Okay? Is anyone else coming?

Hell no.

Me and Cyn are gonna...

groove to some funky tunes

all night long right baby doll?

You know it sugar plum.

Okay you know what?

I'm coming with you.

I'm starting to get diabetes

from all this "sugar sugar" over here.

- What aboutyou Studly Doolittle?

- Three's not company in this case.

I think I'll join you.

Good. We need a big

strong man to protect us.

Problem is there's never a big

strong man around when you need one.

All right let's go.

Why do I always end up

doin' this sh*t work?

Cap'n is thatyou?

Hello Cleveland!

- Cut it out.

- What? Why?

Because I said so.

Said so huh?

Maybe I should just-

Wait wait wait.

I think I feel some rain coming.

Why don't we- I think it might-

I think it might rain.

Why don'twe go somewhere

where wew on't get wet?

Too late.

Close the Velcro.

Beautiful Velcro.

- We are gonna do the humpity-bumpity.

- Come on baby.

The humpity-bumpity!

- Yeah baby!

- One two three!

Wait wait wait wait.

What ifthe others come back?

- I can be quick.

- What else is new?

Hey don't-

Don't take it personal Greg.

- A lot of men have these problems.

- I just gotta take a piss.

Not in here you idiot!

Go pee in the bushes!

Christ I just-

I just gotta go and take a piss is all.

- All this beer's gotta go somewhere.

- For God's sakes.

Be right back.

- Hello?

- It's so quiet.

It's a gorgeous night.

Why don't we play for a little while?

Shall we?

Why don'tyou just stick to

playing with yourself for now?

- By the way what's with the accent?

- I don't know.

Salish are you done yet?

Better hurry back baby.

Mama's gonna give it toya.

Greg you're scaring me.

Come on baby.

- Will you get a load of that?

- What the hell is it?

Looks like it was built

a millennia ago.

Simon it's centuries.

Right. Well that's what I meant.

Should we go in?

I am not going in there.

Unless there's a spa and a 24-hour

room service you're on your own hon.

Well are you coming

or am I going in myself?

Didn't you ever watch Scooby Doo?

This is so not a good idea.

I am completely

not in favor of doing this.

Well the candles are lit.

I mean someone must be home.

Hello?

Alicia watch out!

What the f***?

What the hell are you doing here?

- Where is everyone?

- Shut the door!

You broke my glasses.

Great. Nice.

Okay what is going on here?

We'll show you.

Come on.

I've got it on tape.

Sorry. I have a lot of footage here.

I'll just fast- forward.

Everyone was partying you know.

Drinking and dancing

and just hanging out having fun.

And then these things came

and they attacked the rave.

They started killing everybody.

Those of us that could get away did.

We ran. We finally got to the boat

but it wasn't there.

These things theyjust kept

coming and coming and killing.

We found this house.

We ran inside and tried to hide.

That's when you guys came.

We thought you were more of them.

"Them"? Who the hell is "them"?

"Who"? Try "what."

- Rudy they were dead people.

- Okay guys you saw the tape.

Those are reanimated corpses just like

out of a f***in' Romero movie.

- A what?

- A Romero movie.

You know like the holy trilogy:

Night Dawn and Day.

They say he's gonna make Twilight of

the Dead one day but I doubt it.

Yeah I find this

all a little hard to believe.

It was a stunt.

It was part of the rave.

- It wasn't a stunt Alicia.

- You know what?

Simon says let's get out ofhere

and let the cops ask questions later...

while we're kicking it back in Seattle

selling our story to the Enquirer.

Sounds great.

You got a boat?

- Yes down at the beach.

- Thank God.

Then let's not waste any more time

yakking. Let's just go!

We can't. We still have friends back at

the rave. We're not gonna leave them.

We gotta get out ofhere

while we still can.

We're not leaving without them.

Okay. Let's go.

- So you came with that girl?

- What?

Let me give you a tip. I don't think

she's a natural red white and blue.

Met her at the rave.

So who's your boy over there...

with the Tom Cruise smile

and the Rain Man brain?

He just so happens to be the biggest

underwear model in America.

Congratulations.

- That's great.

- You okay Simon?

Sure.

Where the hell are they?

- Greg? Cindy?

- Please do not do that.

You're being taken Hugh.

This is all just one big practical joke.

if you'd been here which you weren't

you wouldn't think it was a joke.

Believe me.

What is that?

I'm so not touching that.

Hold this.

Let's flip it over.

Liberty.

Holy- Dude what the f***

happened toyou?

I was in there

and then all of the sudden...

the frickin'- the banging

and then the frickin' thing fell over.

And I was stuck inside. Sh*t!

- You're in deep sh*t huh?

- That's veryfunny.

Get that f***in'-

Who are you?

- Where's Cyn?

- I don't know bro. You tell me.

We gotta go find her.

Where the f*** did that come from?

What is- Oh my God!

What is- Cynthia!

What the hell was that thing?

Our best friend.

Not anymore.

She was like a wild animal.

Did you see here face?

Oh my God!

- It's horrible!

- What happened to her?

Everybody hold on a minute.

Maybe I can get us some answers.

McGyvers come in.

This is Casper.

Come in. Over. It's out.

I'm not getting anything on the radio.

Anyone have a cell phone?

We already tried. It's not working.

- There's some sort of interference.

- Look I don't know what's going on.

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