Zelig Page #5

Synopsis: Fictional documentary about the life of human chameleon Leonard Zelig, a man who becomes a celebrity in the 1920s due to his ability to look and act like whoever is around him. Clever editing places Zelig in real newsreel footage of Woodrow Wilson, Babe Ruth, and others.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Warner Home Video
  Nominated for 2 Oscars. Another 6 wins & 14 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
100%
PG
Year:
1983
79 min
1,931 Views


-What am I suffering from?

How should I know?

I'm not a doctor.

You're not?

-No. Am l?

-Who are you?

What do you mean?

These are tough questions.

Leonard Zelig?

Definitely. Who is he?

You.

I'm nobody. I'm nothing.

I--catch me.

I'm falling.

Playing on

Zelig's identity disorder...

Dr. Fletcher

has manipulated him...

into momentary disorientation.

With his guard lowered, she

quickly puts him under hypnosis.

Using posthypnotic suggestion...

she will now be able

to induce a trance at will.

My brother beat me.

My sister beat my brother.

My father beat my sister

and my brother and me.

My mother beat my father...

and my sister and me

and my brother.

The neighbors beat our family.

People down the block beat

the neighbors and our family.

I'm twelve years old.

I run into a synagogue.

I ask the rabbi

the meaning of life.

He tells me

the meaning of life...

but he tells it to me in Hebrew.

I don't understand Hebrew.

Then he wants to charge me

$600 for Hebrew lessons.

Dr. Fletcher's therapy consists

of a two-pronged attack.

In the trance state,

the personality will be...

deeply probed

and then restructured.

In the conscious state...

she will provide

love and affection...

unconditional positive regard.

You will be completely honest.

You're in a deep trance.

You will become not who you

think I want you to be...

but you will be yourself.

Now, how do you

feel about it here?

It's the worst.

I hate the country.

I hate the grass

and the mosquitos.

And cooking--

your cooking is terrible.

Your pancakes--

I dump them in the garbage

when you're not looking.

And the jokes

you try and tell...

when you think you're amusing

are long and pointless.

There's no end to them.

I see.

And what else?

I want to go to bed with you.

Well, that surprises me.

I didn't think you

liked me very much.

I love you.

You do?

You're very sweet...

because you're not as clever

as you think you are.

You're all mixed up and nervous,

and you're the worst cook.

Those pancakes...

I love you.

I want to take care of you.

No more pancakes.

I started out...

by trying to use Leonard

to make my reputation.

Then I found I had

very strong feelings for him.

I never thought

I was attractive.

I never had a real romance.

Charles Koslow

was the type of man...

my mother felt I should marry.

Feeling more confident

every day with her patient...

Dr. Fletcher takes him

for a cautious outing--

an afternoon at her sister's

house in nearby Teaneck.

Meryl Fletcher

is an aviatrix...

a fine professional pilot.

Eudora Fletcher

is an amateur pilot...

and the afternoon

is spent relaxing...

and retelling

old flying experiences.

As the weeks pass...

Zelig is encouraged

to open up more and more...

to give his own opinions.

What was guarded at first

soon becomes expansive.

I hated my stepmother.

I don't care who knows it.

I love baseball.

It doesn't

have to mean anything.

It's just very beautiful

to watch.

I'm a Democrat.

I always was a Democrat.

Is it OK if I don't agree

with you about that recording?

Of course.

Brahms is just always

too melodramatic for me.

You have to be

your own person...

and make your own

moral choices...

even when they do

require real courage.

Otherwise, you're like

a robot or a lizard.

Are you really going

to marry that lawyer?

I would much rather you didn't.

I don't agree.

I think this guy Mussolini

is a loser.

Are we ever going to make love?

It has been three months...

and the board wishes

to examine the patient.

Dr. Fletcher says Zelig isn't

ready to leave the premises.

The doctors agree

to visit him there.

The date is set--

four days hence.

If progress is insufficient...

she will be removed

from the case.

I was very nervous

because in his waking state...

he never remembered anything

from his trance state...

and I wondered

if there could be some way...

of locking

these two things together.

And then I also was worried...

that if he was

with strong personalities...

he might lose his personality.

Sunday at noon,

the doctors arrive.

They are greeted

by Eudora Fletcher...

and Leonard Zelig and are shown

around the grounds.

Though Dr. Fletcher

is tense and alert...

Leonard Zelig seems calm

and at ease.

Despite the fact that he

is surrounded by physicians...

he does not turn into one.

The encounter appears to be

a resounding success...

when Dr. Henry Mayerson

comments innocently...

about the weather,

saying that it is a nice day.

Zelig tells Dr. Mayerson

that he does not agree...

that it is a nice day.

Dr. Mayerson is taken aback...

at the firmness

of Zelig's conviction.

He points out that the sun

is shining and that it is mild.

Zelig, trained to voice his own

personal opinions fearlessly...

is too aggressive.

He has been molded too far

in the other direction.

He has become

over-opinionated...

and cannot brook any

disagreement with his own views.

I'd taken him too far

in the other direction.

He struck Dr. Mayerson

and several board members...

with a rake.

This wasn't what we wanted...

yet I felt I'd

accomplished something.

If I could have him

two more weeks...

I could do some fine-tuning...

and turn Leonard Zelig

back into his own man.

Dr. Eudora Nesbit Fletcher,

the hero--

or should we say, heroine--

of the hour.

The beautiful and brilliant

young psychiatrist...

never lost faith

in her conviction...

that Leonard Zelig,

the human chameleon...

was suffering

from a mental disorder.

Working with her cousin...

cameraman Paul Deghuee,

the doctor managed...

to keep a vital record

of the proceedings...

including rare footage

of Zelig hypnotized.

The patient and healer

have become fast friends...

and enjoy

one another's company...

even when she's

not working on him.

The result of maintaining

a minority opinion...

is a resounding success

for psychiatry.

Who says women

are just good for sewing?

Now it's on to City Hall...

where the town's

newest celebrities...

are given the key to the city.

We're honored to present...

this key

to New York City to you.

Jimmy Walker

did want to be here...

and sing "Leonard the Lizard,"

but he was just too busy.

After city hall,

Eudora Fletcher...

the beautiful genius

who cured Zelig...

of his science-defying

condition...

is honored by fellow scientists

at New York's Waldorf-Astoria.

Present are luminaries

from all over the world...

not just in the field

of psychiatry...

but physics, biology,

mathematics, and you name it.

Here she is exchanging theories

with Nils Andersen...

the father

of modern blood disease.

Later in the week,

Dr. Fletcher is again honored...

as she gets to christen

her first ship.

Quite a success story

for a little girl...

from the backwoods.

I'm speaking to you...

from the home of

Mrs. Catherine Fletcher.

She's the mother

of Dr. Eudora Fletcher...

the famous psychiatrist

in the news these days.

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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