Zelig Page #7

Synopsis: Fictional documentary about the life of human chameleon Leonard Zelig, a man who becomes a celebrity in the 1920s due to his ability to look and act like whoever is around him. Clever editing places Zelig in real newsreel footage of Woodrow Wilson, Babe Ruth, and others.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Warner Home Video
  Nominated for 2 Oscars. Another 6 wins & 14 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
100%
PG
Year:
1983
79 min
1,838 Views


each personality he assumed...

means dozens of lawsuits.

He is sued

for bigamy, adultery...

automobile accidents,

plagiarism, household damages...

negligence, property damages...

and performing unnecessary

dental extractions.

I would like to apologize

to everyone.

I'm awfully sorry

for marrying all those women.

It just--I don't know.

It just seemed

like the thing to do.

To the gentleman

whose appendix I took out...

I don't know what to say.

If it's any consolation...

I may still have it

somewhere around the house.

My deepest apology goes to

the Trokman family in Detroit.

I never delivered

a baby before in my life...

and I just thought that

ice tongs was the way to do it.

Thriving mercilessly on

loopholes and technicalities...

the American legal profession

has a field day.

Zelig is branded a criminal.

Despite Dr. Fletcher's

insistence that he cannot be...

held responsible for actions

while in his chameleon state...

it is no use.

Leonard Zelig sets

a bad moral influence.

America is a moral country.

It's a God-fearing country.

We don't condone scandals--

scandals of fraud and polygamy.

In keeping with a pure society,

I say, lynch the little Hebe.

Throughout

the humiliating ordeal...

Eudora Fletcher stands by

the man she loves, valiantly.

Privately, she tells friends...

that she is worried about

Zelig's emotional condition...

which seems to her

to be deteriorating...

under the weight

of conservative moral opinion.

In public, he tries to keep up

an appearance of composure...

but it is increasingly

difficult.

It is clear that

he is coming apart...

when he and Eudora dine

at a Greek restaurant...

and in the midst of the meal,

Zelig begins to turn Greek.

He longs desperately

to be liked once again...

to be accepted, to fit in.

Public clamor over his morality

reaches a fever pitch...

and on the eve

of his sentencing...

Leonard Zelig vanishes.

This is Chief lnspector

of Police Thomas Dowd...

with a national

broadcasting news break.

Leonard Zelig is missing.

On the eve of his sentencing...

for an assortment

of crimes and misdemeanors...

ranging from polygamy to fraud,

he has disappeared.

We are searching for clues...

and would appreciate

speaking with anyone...

who might have any information

leading to his apprehension.

My sister was just shattered.

She tried to keep up

a calm front...

but she was just too upset.

And she wasn't a person...

who usually

displayed emotion easily...

except where Leonard

was concerned.

Dr. Fletcher and the police

confer daily.

Together they make

public appeals...

to anyone who might know

of his whereabouts.

Apart from several

crank telephone calls...

there is little response.

Months go by,

and Zelig is not heard from.

Cars are searched.

False leads pour in

from everywhere.

His jacket is recovered

in Texas.

A manhunt in that state

proves futile.

He is reported seen

in Chicago, in California.

This still photo appears

to have a man resembling him...

with a mariachi band in Mexico.

Dr. Fletcher continues

to search for Zelig...

but hopes fade

with each passing day.

All I could think of

was Leonard...

how much I missed him

and loved him...

and all the terrific times

we'd spent together.

It was really

a very painful time for me.

The year ends,

and Zelig is still missing.

I just moped around and wept.

And one night

after a very bad time...

my sister Meryl said to me...

"Come on, let's go out

for dinner or a concert."

I said, "No. I can't do it,"

but she insisted.

We went out

and ended up in a movie.

We saw "Grand Hotel," and

with it, there was a newsreel.

Adolf Hitler and

the National Socialist Party...

continue to consolidate gains

in depression-ridden Berlin.

Denouncing

the Treaty of Versailles...

the Nazis make fervent appeals

to German patriotism...

Eudora Fletcher is stunned

by what she sees.

Amongst the brown shirts...

she spots a figure

who could be Zelig.

Then it made all

the sense in the world...

because although

he wanted to be loved...

craved to be loved...

there was also

something in him...

that desired immersion

in the mass and anonymity.

And Fascism offered Zelig

that kind of opportunity...

so that he could make something

anonymous of himself...

by belonging

to this vast movement.

She sails for

Europe the following week.

Ten days later,

she arrives in Berlin.

Germany is a country deep

in the throes of the Depression.

Militarism and unrest

are in the air.

She searches everywhere

and makes inquiries...

but it is impossible.

After three weeks...

the authorities begin

to get suspicious.

They watch her.

While she is out,

they search her hotel room.

A fourth week goes by...

and she is about

to give up and go home...

when news of a large rally

at Munich catches her attention.

It is rumored

that it will be...

the largest gathering to date

of Nazi personnel.

Eudora Fletcher

is counting on the hope...

that Zelig may attend and that

if she can confront him...

the strong feeling he has always

had for her can be awakened.

At first, all appears hopeless.

The crowd is huge.

It seems impossible to locate

any one particular face.

Then suddenly, a figure flanking

the chancellor...

catches her attention.

Behind and to the right

of Hitler, she spots Zelig.

Struggling to make contact,

she manages to catch his eye.

Like a man emerging

from a dream, Zelig notices her.

In a matter of seconds,

everything comes back to him.

It was nothing like

it happened in the movie.

When Leonard left the podium,

they didn't know what to think.

We couldn't believe our eyes.

Hitler's speech was ruined.

He wanted to make

a good joke about Poland...

but just then,

Zelig interfered...

and Hitler was extremely upset.

The SS wanted to grab Zelig...

but if they would have

grabbed him...

they probably would have

tortured him...

or maybe even shot him.

So in the confusion...

Fletcher and Zelig

got out of the building...

through a side door.

They grabbed a car,

sped away in the car...

and the SS after them,

shot them.

In rare

German newsreel footage...

a quick glimpse of the escape

was recorded.

I was flying.

It was wonderful.

And then suddenly,

something happened.

I was frightened.

I lost control.

We went into a dive.

Leonard was so terrified that

he changed his personality...

and before my eyes,

because I was a pilot...

he turned into one, too.

Zelig takes control

of the airplane.

Acting the role of pilot...

he struggles valiantly

with the aircraft.

The Germans, who are stunned,

take a full fifteen minutes...

before following

in hot pursuit of their quarry.

With Eudora Fletcher

unconscious...

Zelig, who had never flown

before in his life...

not only escapes

the German pilots...

but sets a record for flying

nonstop across the Atlantic...

upside down.

With a storm of cheers

and a blizzard of ticker tape...

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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