Zenobia Page #6

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- We're not interested in your medicine.

Ah! But you haven't tried it, Your Honor.

Please accept this with the

compliments of J. Thorndike McCrackle.

- Stick to the facts...Professor.

- Oh, yes! Yes, the facts, you're right.

Well, in the first place...

That's all, Professor.

Does the defense wish

to question the witness?

Just one question, Your Honor.

Professor, who's putting up the

money to pay for your attorney?

- Why...

- I object!

Objection sustained.

That's all I wanted to ask.

- Call the next witness.

- Mrs. Henry Tibbett.

Mrs. Henry Tibbett!

- Am I finished?

- Yes, in a minute.

Be careful, Mother, don't

let him get you confused.

Confused? Me? Ridiculous!

Do you swear to tell about the testimony

you are about to give in this case

now pending before this court

is the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but

the truth, so help you God.

I do.

Mrs. Tibbett, where were you

on the night of April 29?

Many-time, twenty-nine. Oh! I remember! I

was at that party that Mrs. Carter gave for Mary!

Where were you?

Well, that night I was feelin' bored with myself...

That has nothin' to do with it!

Is it true that after the party at Mrs. Carter's

you refused to let your husband into the house?

Well, that is because...

The witness will restrict

herself to answering questions.

All right, Your Honor.

Is it or is it not true that you

locked your husband out of the house?

Well, lots of times a wife has a

perfectly good reason for what she does.

Do you mean to say your wife

never locked YOU out of the house?

Well, only once, and that was when...

Mrs. Tibbett, have you and your

husband ever quarreled before?

Why, no! We get along VERY well.

Course there's no married

couple in the world

that doesn't have a LITTLE

family squabble now and then.

Why, John, I'm sure even you and your wife

have had a little tiff at some time or other.

Well, as a matter of fact, last night

the wife and I had the darndest fight...

- Are you through with the witness?

- Yes, Sir, Your Honor.

Has the defense any

questions to ask the witness?

Do you love me, Bessie?

Henry, of course I do.

That's all, Your Honor.

Mrs. Tibbett, you will

kindly leave the witness chair.

Oh, do you want to sit here?

Yes, thank you.

Of course not!

Your Honor, may I call the next witness?

You certainly may.

Mr. Jeffrey Carter.

Mr. Jeffrey Carter.

Mary, I..I had no idea.

Mr. Jeffrey Carter.

Goodbye, John.

...about to give in the case now

pending before this court is the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but

the truth, so help you God?

I do.

Mr. Carter, have you ever seen the elephant

show great affection for Dr. Tibbett?

Please answer the question, Mr. Carter.

Yes...

On the night of your mother's party,

did you see the elephant follow

Dr. Tibbett into your house?

We're waiting, Mr. Carter.

Yes, I did.

Did the appearance of the

elephant cause your mother

great anguish and humiliation?

Please answer. Yes or no?

Yes.

Gentlemen of the jury,

it's obvious from the testimony of Mr. Carter... ...

Did you see manner in which the defendant

has stolen the affection of this elephant,

as well as the sorrow which

has resulted from his debt?

Your Honor, may I interrupt

to ask one question?

What is it, Dr. Tibbett?

What is the penalty in this state for

stealing the affections of an elephant?

The penalty in this state

for stealing an elephant...

is...ah...ah...

Well...ah...ah...

The...ah...ah...

The..the...the penalty...

the penalty is... ... ... ... ...

As a matter of fact...

this court declares a recess for a

half hour while it digests the evidence.

Court adjourned.

Anyway, I don't like the way

everybody's actin', I'm awfully upset.

Now, don't worry, Mother,

this'll work out somehow.

Well, I'll run home and get you an nice

cool drink. And some hay for the elephant.

Mary, Mary, Darling, I'm terribly sorry.

But what else could I do?

I guess you're right.

I guess there's nothin'

else you know HOW to do.

Maybe from now on you'd better speak

to you mother and forget all about me.

- Did pretty well, didn't I?

- You were TERRIBLE.

Terrible? I don't think so.

It only took me...

Quick! Come on!

Imagine! Pitchin' horseshoes as

though nothing were the matter.

If I were he, I'd be havin'

a nervous breakdown.

Better hang onto that horseshoe, Doc,

you may need it for luck.

George, you never do anything to be ashamed of,

you don't have to worry about being lucky.

Ringed it, Dr. Tibbett!

- Doc, can I see ya a minute?

- Why sure, Jeff.

- Ah, take my place, Billy.

- Sure, Doc.

- What's the matter, Son.

- Doc, I...I'm all mixed-up.

I keep tryin' to figure this

thing out, but it just doesn't add up.

Something go wrong between you and Mary?

I guess she thinks I listen to other

people and do what they want to do,

instead of what I want to do.

- And what do YOU think?

- I don't know WHAT to think.

- Come here, Zeke.

- Ya'Sir.

Once I promised you a quarter

if you'd learn something.

Ya'Sir!

- Do you want to earn that quarter now?

- Ya'Sir.

Declaration of Independence,

in Congress, July 4th, 1776

"When, in the course of human events,"

"it becomes necessary for one

people to dissolve the political bands"

"which has connected them with another"

"and to assume among the powers of the Earth,"

"the separate and equal stations,

to which the laws of nature"

"and of nature's God entitle them."

"a decent respect to the opinions of mankind."

"requires that they should declare the

causes which impel them to the separation."

"We hold these truths go be self-evident,"

"that all men are created equal,"

"that they are endowed by their

Creator with certain unalienable rights,"

"that among these are life, liberty

and the pursuit of happiness."

"That to secure these rights,

governments are instituted among men,"

"deriving their just powers

from the consent of the governed."

"That whenever any form of government

becomes destructive of these ends,"

"it is the right of the people

to alter or to abolish it"

"and to institute new government,

laying its foundation on such principles"

"and organizing its powers in such form,"

"as to them shall seem most likely to

effect their safety and happiness."

"Prudence, indeed, will

dictate that governments long"

"established should not be changed

for light and transient causes;"

"and accordingly all experience hath shown

that mankind are more disposed to suffer,"

"while evils are sufferable,"

"than to right themselves by abolishing the

forms to which they are accustomed."

"But when a long train

of abuses and usurpations,"

"pursuing invariably the same object"

"evinces a design to reduce

them under absolute despotism,"

"it is their right, it is their duty,

to throw off such government"

"and to provide new guards

for their future security."

- Do I get my quarter now?

- You bet you do!

There.

Oh! Thank you, Sir.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

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