Zero Motivation

"AARONSKI THE BEE"

Not here. It's Taken.

Excuse Me, Excuse me...

ZERO MOTIVATION:

Soldiers, the bus is broken down. Please

leave the bus. Another bus is coming.

Soldiers, please, everyone off the bus.

Everyone off, please.

Take us home!

Episode 1:
The Replacement

Kill me now.

Come on, let's go. We're late.

I can't take another step.

Go on without me.

I missed two buses because of you.

If I'm late Rama's gonna' kill me.

Why doesn't anyone answer my letters?

You want me to carry your backpack?

It won't help.

My soul is what's heavy.

I just can't go into that base

and start another lame week.

Stop it, Dafta. It'll go by fast.

We'll do some shenanigans. It'll be fun.

We'll set a new Mine-Sweeper record.

Excuse me?

This is Shizafon base, right?

Shivzaon. Yeah, this is it.

Good, I thought I was in the

wrong place. I'm new here.

Poor thing. I feel your sorrow.

Excuse her, she doesn't like Sundays.

Wait. What's your name?

Tehila. What's your position?

Receptionist. Where?

In an office. What office?

What is this, an interrogation?

I'm going in.

You don't get it? She's my replacement.

That's Good.

What time is it? I have to

serve coffee to the d*ckheads.

"Just so you know... there are

a lot of fags on this base..."

The private says: "

really?" The Sergeant says:

"Yeah. You want me to point them out?"

So the Private answers: "Yeah".

The Sergeant says:

"No problem, but first I want a kiss."

So I guess we're not getting

coffee this morning?

You'll get it. My soldiers

are working on it right now.

Good, because if you want to

command a hundred soldiers

you'd better learn how to command

5 of them. Absolutely. Ok.

We're having the multi-branch drill

this week so... Ber, go ahead.

Ok, we'll be training in area

Oscar-4 Tarantula Sector.

Blanks only. Section 280

is closed for the drill.

What makes you think she's your replacement?

What do you mean? It's obvious.

My letters finally reached someone

who read them and wants to help.

Wait, where did you come from?

Boot camp.

Where were you sent?

Here.

You see?

This is the Personnel Office.

Your new home.

This is your desk and you

can put your backpack here.

There you are, disobedient soldier.

Don't even ask what happened.

All of the Officers are waiting.

They're thirsty and dying to eat.

I'm not even going to ask. Thank you.

The bus broke down, I swear

I don't care if aliens were blocking

all the roads in Southern Israel.

You need to be here at 9:30 sharp.

It's my fault. She missed two buses

in Be'er Sheba waiting for me.

You don't have to come to the base together all the time.

You're like glue. We're not in kindergarten. Who's she?

This is Tehila... Okay,

it doesn't matter now.

You have two minutes to serve breakfast.

Clean this up after.

What? Exactly.

Get rid of that stain right away.

You don't have to salute.

Boot camp is over.

That b*tch! Why is she yelling at me?

I'm supposed to clean her uniform?

What am I, her slave?

Don't worry about it, Ignore her. We'll

make her coffee and she'll calm down.

Coffee? That b*tch, she

can go f*** herself.

Along with all the officers up her ass.

Rama, our Lieutenant,

she's a little uptight.

She's retarded.

Come.

"Soon, you'll talk to me again..."

"And my body will feel your warmth"

"And your breathing..."

This is the seating order of the officers so

you'll know what coffee to serve to which officer.

Get it? It's really simple.

Hey, Nati.

Anat.

What, you don't remember me?

You probably didn't recognize

me without the tears?

Dafi, from personnel.

right, without the hoodie.

Look, they sent me a replacement

and I'm moving to Kiryat.

Really? Yeah. That's great.

Good luck. Thanks.

"Wounds and kisses..."

"All the lies and all the silence"

"Come back like gamblers

with their deck of cards..."

"and shiny shoes".

"balancing integrity in a cardboard

box, everyday phenomenon."

"I leave, I leave that day,"

"La, la, la, la, la, la, la...

Ooowooo... wooowooo"

Shut up!

"She said, 'thank you, I'm hopeless'

"and not afraid to be bad..." Shut up!

Shut up!

"So, I stayed there..."

Personnel Department.

Yes. Just a sec. Is this Meirav?

Hi, Tsrifin.

Okay, there are a lot of forms here.

Vacation forms, transfer forms...

Ok, bye.

No, no, no, those are personal files.

What are you looking for?

Okay. Anyway...

this is all the personnel stuff.

Girls, this is my replacement, Tehila.

Replacement? What replacement?

I'm Moving to the City. No kidding?

How did that happen?

Jealous?

Anyway, Tehila, these are your colleagues.

This is Liyat. She's Rama's

secretary, and this is Livanat.

I'm the Human Resources Officer.

Not a receptionist.

Wow! You really have no

idea what we do here.

Well, it's not like we

actually do anything.

You'd be surprised. We work really hard. Maybe

if you came to the office sometime you'd see.

Dafi, if you put your backpack

on my desk one more time

I'm gonna' shove it up your ass. Stop it!

Let's not start that again.

This desk is for both of us

Not for both of us. Just me. Rama said so.

This is Irena. She came here from the

ordinance corps. She's also new here.

New, my ass. I've been here two months

already. Personnel Department. Hello.

Poor girl. She's overwhelmed. Two years sounds

like a lot but time goes by really fast.

Yes, it does.

Hi, girls! Hello! Hello!

What have you been up to?

In this drawer there are staplers, pins, thumbtacks,

separators, straight blades, envelope opener,

pencil sharpeners, plastic glue, ink pens, pen

fillers, staplers.. Stop, you're giving me a headache.

Staple gun. The most expensive

item in the office.

This thing is deadly.

Nothing works like these on the big

posters. Not thumbtacks, not scotch tape.

There are only two of them and

they're numbered. We hide them here.

Even if Gd forbid, you become a POW and

they torture you, you tell no one. Got it?

Boaz? Yeah?

You got a minute?

For you, even 60 seconds.

I wanted to update you about my

application to become a Captain.

I heard there's only one more opening

and I need a recommendation from you.

There's still time before

the Commission, right?

Yes, but I'd rather take

care of it ahead of time.

How many candidates are there? It's me and

three other officers from the division.

Excellent. Competition is a good thing.

You'll have plenty of time to impress us.

There's going to be an

inspection soon, correct? Yes.

It's a great chance to earn some points.

Absolutely. I'll do the best I can.

I'm sure.

Girls! Are you on vacation?

What do you mean by, "moving to the City"?

Exactly what is says. Nothing more.

Don't you talk back to me. I don't

have the time or patience for this.

We're not supposed to get new

recruits until the end of the month.

No, Rama, it's all good,

everything is organized, I...

It's just that I've made some contacts

with some officials in the city.

What kind of contacts?

I've been sending letters.

A lot of letters. To who?

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