Zhivoy trup Page #5

Year:
1911
12 Views


about money.

Well, anyhow, he needs not to be

so punctilious.

Mikha, what's up? Mikha!

Let's feed those birds.

Now, look!

That's the way! There

Well, you go now

How selfish we are becoming.

Yes, I confess it.

It's your fault. After all that waiting,

that hopelessness, I am so happy now.

And happiness makes one selfish.

It's your fault.

Do you think it's you only? Me, too.

I feel full of happiness, bathed in bliss.

I have everything. Mikha has recovered,

your mother likes me.

And above all, I love you!

Well, what? Tell me, what?

That you are a good, dear girl

and that I love you,

and if I live I shall ruin you.

That's not your business.

I know quite well what will ruin me.

Let's go. We'll go off together

and live gloriously.

Go now. I will follow you soon. Go!

I'll be waiting at the gate.

Fedya!

Where is he?

Thats the question

I would like to ask you.

Fedya?

Fedya!

Liza and Victor,

I address myself to you both.

I won't lie and call you 'dear'

or anything else.

C'est moi qui suis l'intrus

It is I who am the intruder.

I love you both in theory,

especially Liza, Lizette!

But actually I am more than cold

towards you.

But to business.

Lying, acting so disgusting a comedy,

bribing the Consistorium, to face

all that meanness is disgusting to me.

Vile as I may be,

I am vile in a different way,

and cannot take part in those

abominations simply cannot!

The solution at which I have arrived

is the simplest:

to be happy, you must marry.

I am in the way;

consequently I must destroy myself

must destroy myself. And I will do it.

When you get this letter,

I shall be no more.

P.S:
What a pity you sent me money

to pay for the divorce proceedings.

It is unpleasant, and unlike you.

But it can't be helped.

I've so often made mistakes, why shouldn't

you make one? I return the money.

All I ask is, don't be angry with me,

and hold me in kind memory.

Goodbye, Fedya.

He has taken his life! Yes

I knew it! I knew it!

Liza

Liza!

It's not true, not true

that I didn't love him.

I love only him! I love him!

And I've killed him.

Liza!

Oh, my God!

Forgive me, but I too can't lie.

Go now go, and find out

She was a gypsy,

brought up to money-hunting,

and yet she had this

self-sacrificing love.

Gave everything, wanted nothing herself.

The contrast was so wonderful!

I understand, quite understand.

Yes, in art we call it a "tone-value"

"Tone-value". You can only get quite

bright red by putting green round it.

But that's not to the point.

I understand, quite understand.

My wife was an ideal woman.

But how shall I tell you?

There was no yeast in it, you know

the yeast that makes the beer froth!

Well, our life was flat, and I wanted

something to help me to forget.

One can't forget when there's no sparkle

in life. And I began to do nasty things.

And you know, we love people

for the good we do them.

And dislike them for the harm we do them.

And I did her much harm.

She seemed to love me

Why do you say "seemed"?

I say it because there was never

anything about her

that made her creep into my soul

as Masha did. But I meant another.

When she was pregnant, or nursing her baby,

I used to vanish, and come home drunk;

And of course, just because of that,

I loved her less and less.

I see you've made acquaintance

with our painter, our artist.

Yes, we are acquainted.

And have you finished the portrait?

No, I lost the order.

We are not in your way?

Secrets?

Then I won't disturb you go on?

I'm sure I don't want you.

I don't like that man, Kouzin.

He was offended.

Well, let him be! He is such a fellow,

my words won't come when he is there.

Now with you I feel at ease

and comfortable.

Well, what was I saying?

You were speaking about your wife

Ah, yes! I have it!

The reason I love Masha is that

I've done her good and no harm.

That's why I love her.

The other one I tormented

Not because I don't like

No, after all, I simply don't love her!

Was I jealous?

Yes, but that too is past

As for Masha, on the contrary,

I may fall lower still,

sell off all I have on me,

be covered with lice and sores

but this jewel no, the ray of sunshine,

is still with me and in me.

I see, I see! And where is she now?

That all belongs to another life,

and I don't want to mix it with this one.

You are welcome!

Ugh!

What? It's nothing, girl

Yes, your life is astonishing.

No, it's more simple! You know,

in the society in which I was born

there are only three careers

open to a man only three.

The first is to enter the civil

or military service,

to earn money and increase

the abominations amid which we live.

That was repulsive to me.

Perhaps I had not the capacity for it;

but above all it repelled me.

Then the second is

to destroy those abominations.

To do that you must be a hero;

and I am not a hero.

And the third is to forget it all by going

on the spree, drinking and singing.

That is what I did. And this is

what my singing has brought me to.

Sometimes it is horrid,

and sometimes not.

It's horrid when I've no money.

Now he's on his way from the station.

Who is?

Papa.

Papa's coming from the station?

It is surprising how he loves him -

just as if he were his father.

So much the better!

Does he remember his real father?

I never speak to him about it.

I say to myself, "Why confuse him?"

There's someone with him,

a lady in a bonnet.

It's Mother!

I have not seen her for an age.

Victor!

Hey, Mikha!

Mikha!

Isn't he a strapping fellow?

If only he hasn't inherited everything.

His father's heart

But not his weakness.

How much higher he stands now

in our recollection!

Yes

Well, Victor, did you get the wool?

Yes, yes, I did.

There!

A horse!

Take it!

A horse

Here is the wool, the eau-de-Cologne,

and the letters here you are!

And here the one

"On Government Service" for Liza.

It's to your Mummy.

Take it to your Mummy!

There!

Anna Pavlovna, if you want to wash

your hands I'll show you your room.

I must make myself tidy too;

it is almost dinner time.

Maman, Anna Pavlovna's room is

the corner one downstairs, isn't it?

Maman!

Oh God! When will he release me!

Victor, what does this mean?

It is dreadful! He's alive.

Oh, how I hate him!

I don't know what I am saying

I hate him!

Take a seat, please.

Believe me, I much regret

to have to question you,

but we are under the necessity

Please be calm.

And remember that you need not

answer my questions.

Only, in my opinion, for your own

and everybody's sake the truth is best.

It is always best, even practically

I have nothing to conceal.

Well then, your name, position, religion

all that I have put down.

Is it correct?

Yes.

You're accused of contracting a marriage

with another man,

knowing your husband to be alive.

I did not know it.

And also of having persuaded your husband,

and bribed him with money,

to commit a fraud a pretended suicide

in order to free yourself of him.

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Robert Persky

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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