Ziegfeld Girl Page #3

Oh, Susie, run out and rescue the actors

from your old man, will you?

He's trying to explain to our comics

how they should have put over their stuff.

If they listen to Pop, they're in.

- Hello.

- Oh, hello.

- We're stepping out and high!

- Really? Did Pop say so?

Well, he's going along.

- Name your poison.

- How about an ice-cream soda?

Oh, big shot!

- All right, all right, cut me down.

- Oh, don't be silly. Come on.

Girls, the boss is throwing a big

coming-out party tonight for one and all.

- I know we can count on you.

- Oh, yes.

Will you be there, lovely?

Will you be there!

Frank is waiting for you.

When that canary holds out his hand,

there's something in it.

How about you, Flatbush?

No, no. My boyfriend's waiting outside,

with a 21/2-ton truck.

Well, maybe even a 5-ton job,

if I'm lucky.

You've got the right angle, honey.

You marry for love.

- I did.

- All five times.

- And you still have another arm.

- Yeah, and I wish I was an octopus.

You are.

Slip me that handcuff, will you, honey?

The big one.

For you, Flatbush.

For me?

- Who's Geoffrey Collis?

- A patron of the arts, my dear...

...and a guy with more potatoes

than they grow in Idaho.

Good hunting, kid. Only...

...don't shoot until you see the whites

of the eyes on those potatoes.

Here's one, Pa,

and about time. Listen.

"Another new glorified girl

who made an impression was Sheila Hale.

This one used to run an elevator.

Confidentially, boys, she gave me a lift."

Sheila Hale.

How can I brag to the boys

when they know my name is Regan?

Well, maybe we could

change our name to Hale.

Ma! Pa! She's up. Sheila's up.

I fed her some grapefruit juice.

Gee, Ma, you should have seen her

come down them steps. Like this.

Well! I hope I didn't raise my boy

to be a Ziegfeld girl.

You should have heard the tune

they played. Special for her.

Here it is. Listen.

I'm as proud of you

as I am of me uniform.

Well, you can put it away

in mothballs.

From now on,

we're gonna have lots of...

...potatoes.

- Irish potatoes?

Sure. Only kind I'd eat if I could eat any.

Mr. Ziegfeld's put me on a diet.

- Fine, if it's for building you up.

- Tearing me down.

He says if I don't watch my figure,

nobody else will.

Sheila, look at me being an actress!

Would you walk me to the corner,

Mrs. Bernhardt?

You're gonna put away

some bacon and eggs.

And you can tell that Mr. Ziegfeld

I said so.

Diet!

Showgirls should be seen and not heard.

You'll pull in your ears

when you read my notices.

I pulled them in when I heard you

singing. Look, look. Look at this.

There she is.

- Gil, you've got it. You got your truck.

- Yeah. Five tons if she's an ounce.

- Did you get the raise?

- No.

No, but I got twice as much

responsibility there.

Twice as much weight to carry

around for the same paycheck.

- Look, Red, we got things to talk about.

- Gil, don't I look different this morning?

I feel different.

You never look different to me. A diamond

don't have to be in no Tiffany setting...

...before I can see it.

- Meaning who?

I mean those guys that hang

around down by the stage door.

The ones with the moneybags under their

eyes. I saw them looking at you last night.

How, Gil?

How did they look?

Well, in such a way as to give me an awful

good excuse to punch them in the jaw.

Here. Yeah, here's a little item

you dropped.

That's "I like you very much.

Call me sometime. Geoffrey Collis."

Hey, where does he get off,

asking you to call him?

A gent never forces himself on a lady.

Oh, Gil, what are you so sore about?

- You took me home last night, didn't you?

- Well, the body anyway.

Listen, Red,

I've got something to suggest.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I seen it coming from a long way off.

- You want me to quit, for instance.

- Yeah, for instance, I do.

Yeah, and for instance, I won't.

Not even if we get married?

Oh, Gil, I'm in it now. I'm a Ziegfeld girl.

You sound like a bottle of milk

that just got certified.

Oh, Gil, don't spoil things.

I just gotta see it through, don't I?

What will I tell our grandkids if I don't?

Dames is just like traffic. Sometimes you

gotta stop, sometimes you gotta go.

Yeah, but a smart driver

don't beat the lights.

Okay. So you know your own strength.

You ain't exactly anemic

yourself, you know.

Show's out at 11:30.

I'll be there at 11:28.

And if I have to push one of them

limousines out of the way with my truck...

...I can do that too.

Bye.

- Hi, beautiful.

- Hello, Flatbush.

- Hello.

- Hello, Merton.

- Good evening, Mr. Collis.

- You certainly look wonderful.

You don't look so bad yourself.

- Shall we dance to our table?

- Love to.

See you later.

- Good evening.

- Hello.

Good evening, Sandra.

How are you, Sandra?

- Hello, Sandra. How are you?

- Fine, thank you.

I'm beginning to think I'm quite a guy.

- What delayed you?

- All those wolves with envy in their eyes.

Who do you pick to go out with?

- That's because you're so safe.

- Me, safe?

Certainly. We're both married,

and we both know it.

Isn't there a word for it?

Insurance.

I don't feel like such a good risk.

Oh, I wish my husband could know you.

He was so afraid I'd meet

nothing but wolves.

I'm only wolf on my father's side.

- How about it. Hungry?

- I could eat a horse.

- Only I suppose the things are fattening.

- How many calories in a horse?

Enough for a day at least, monsieur.

Perhaps madame would like some

delicious rognons de veau grill.

Or perhaps foie gras au porto?

See anything about me that makes

you think I could understand French?

But, yes, madame. Plenty.

Think I better order by ear.

Bring me a stack of wheat.

Crepes suzette for the lady.

A stack of wheats for the lady!

They serve them

sort of folded up here, Sheila.

- Which? The ladies?

- No. The hotcakes.

Okay. Fold up some for me.

Maybe with a French accent,

they're not fattening.

You know, I like you.

You're kind of a novelty to me.

Shall we drink to that?

- Oh, no, I have a lot left.

- Why don't you drink it up.

What for? I figure it's always more fun to

be conscious when you have a good time.

And you and Gil have

good times together, huh?

When we're not battling.

You know, a place like this takes

all the fight right out of me.

And after 20 years of developing

a good left hook.

Tell me...

...what are you going to do

with the rest of your life?

Live it. What else is there to do with it?

Don't tell me you're the one woman

who doesn't think she has talent?

Oh, I have talent, all right.

- Being good company.

- Which should be rewarded.

Here we are. How about this?

Look.

Gee, looks good enough

to eat with a spoon.

Well, try it on.

- It'll fit.

- Come on. Let's make sure, shall we?

Are you making a pass at me?

It appears that I am, Sheila.

A forward pass?

Very forward.

Well?

Do I complete it?

Nobody's blocking you.

Oh, it's time to wake up.

Now, look, honey. You want to see your

name out there in 6-foot lights, right?

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